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Scan this QR code to go to your favorite rat’s website (AKA THIS WEBSITE).
Sinai? Isn’t that a desert? Or a place in the Middle East? Don’t be ridiculous! Sinai is only the most beautiful and attractive rat to ever live! (Sinai can also be the aforementioned things, but those come after a cute rat in the dictionary.) Besides having lustrous black and white fur (which you should never mix up with white and black fur, as that is very offensive), this very attractive and internationally-beloved rodent is also the (self-appointed) Divine Ruler of Everything. And naturally, being the most powerful being alive (a good friend of hers, King Negev, Boss of You, Ruler of the World, and Master of the Universe, who happens to be equally powerful happens to be dead), she just had to have a website. All universal rulers should have websites. Especially ones who are as internationally-beloved as her. It’s just the way of things. I mean, how can you be a powerful leader without an internet presence? That might have worked fifty years ago back when there was no internet, but definitely not in this day and age! And though Sinai is a very powerful rat, she just can’t get an internet presence without actually getting on the internet (alas), and so she created this. Although she doesn’t actually do most of the work on the site (what can I say, she doesn’t know how to type), she is the large and extremely capable brain behind all of the amazing things you will discover within these internet web pages, and you should be glad she didn’t leave it to her sister, Soigné, to develop this all. That would have been positively awful. I can’t even imagine how terrible it would have been. Even though Sinai doesn’t have thumbs or know how to type, she at least knows how to think up things that are actually interesting. You should have heard what Soigné thought this website should be about. It’s just so ridiculous that Sinai had to resist kicking her sister out on the streets.
“Sinai, I think we should write about world problems and how you are going to deal with them on your website. Like, you know, global warming, and how to achieve world peace? As a universal ruler, I don’t think you should be writing about what types of beauty products your company has been putting out lately. That’s just what I think, you know.” -Soigné (AKA the ugly white and black rat on the left who is creepily grasping the bars of the cage while her more lovable sister, Sinai, who is on the right, tries to escape from her presence as soon as possible without being impolite)
Right? That’s ridiculous! No one wants to hear about whatever that’s called, what is it now… um… gobble warning? I don’t know. But anyways, no one needs to hear about turkeys giving caution calls. That’s silly. Everyone knows that beauty products are the biggest trending topic online now, especially on Sinai’s favorite website, www.soigneistotallywrong.com. Last I checked, no one even mentioned that ridiculous topic, whatever it is, on that website. And that website talks about whatever is currently popular, so obviously gobble warning has never been popular (or at least popular enough to be featured on www.soigneistotallywrong.com) So listen up, Soigné. You’re wrong. There’s even a website to prove just how totally wrong you are. If you could kindly admit to being incorrect and surrender, then we can all be nice and friendly again. But if you don’t… well, you won’t like that. So just surrender, and everything will be okay.
And Sinai won’t have to throw you in the dungeon where you will live out the rest of your days in complete darkness with no one but loneliness as you companion.
“You will submit to my rightness, Soigné. OR ELSE.”
Okay, now that we’ve got all that out of the way, we can explain to you this fantastically entertaining blog. Or website. Whatever you want to call it. I mean, there are posts almost every single day, but there are also a lot of extraordinarily entertaining and amusing pages for you to check out. In fact, there are even pages written by Sinai’s best friend, King Negev, Boss of You, Ruler of the World, and Master of the Universe (King Negev for short). What a kind and generous friend Sinai is! So I guess I could be called either of them. Especially since a blog usually is a website. But it doesn’t matter what it’s called, since it’s still the second best thing that ever happened to the world (the first is the birth of Sinai). Now you can interact with the most powerful rat alive! You can read what she’s thinking! You can buy all of her cool, fun, and very affordable products that she makes just for all of you lovable fans. And if you ever forget what she looks like, well, just click the little bookmark you made for this website (you made one, right?), and check out all the pictures of her that are sprinkled around here. (There are also ones of Soigné, but only because Sinai is a very nice sister and kindly put up a couple so her beloved sibling would not feel shunned. Also so that her readers would be able to avoid her if they ever came across Soigné walking on the streets.) You can look at the pictures even if you do remember what she looks like. I mean, who doesn’t like to look at cute little rats that they have fallen in love with? (And we’re not talking about Soigné here.) In fact, if you do fall in love with Sinai, just remember that you met her on her very successful and popular website/blog. That’s something you can tell all the imaginary children you have Sinai. (Sad to say, Sinai is not currently open for dating, nor will she ever be, as she is too busy being the Divine Ruler of Everything to consider it. She doesn’t mind if you fall in love with her, though. It’s pretty much impossible to not, and she acknowledges that. You can even join the Ilovesinaibutsheisnotavailablefordating Club! Only $99 per month for an active membership.) You don’t even have to love Sinai to be on this website (it’s preferable that you do). All you have to do is want something fun to read and possibly dream about for the rest of your life. As in dream about in a good way. Like, no nightmares. Unless they’re about Soigné. Or just something fun to read about. It doesn’t matter, honestly. This website was made to give Sinai the Great an internet presence, and even accidentally clicking on some random link to it makes it all the more popular. Of course, once you accidentally click on a link to this website, you will, naturally, stay on it for nine straight
hours years and memorize all the words in all the posts, just like every single other fan of sinaithegreat.wordpress.com! So be thankful to Sinai, since she’s the one who made it possible for you to have this awesome website to interact with. (Not counting the person who typed this entire home page and all the rest of the entries and pages on the website, who also happens to be her owner, Anna.)
P.S. If you are feeling particularly thankful to Sinai for making you a wonderfully entertaining website that is pretty much your life now, you can donate money to her charity that helps cute rats with names that start with S and rhyme with NaiNai. She gives all of the donated money to this charity, so you don’t have to fret about where it goes. Call (123) LUV SISI for more details. (Minimum donation is $1000000.)
Just look at how sad and depressed this cute little rat whose name starts with an S and rhymes with NaiNai is! Think of how you could be a better person and donate to help her.
Warning: It is not recommended to read Sinai the Great if you do not like cats or rats.
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