I love your stylish and chic sense of fashion. Your fur is so sleek and cute looking. And your cute little black spot is absolutely adorable. Can you please help me become more like you? I am very ugly looking, what with my nastily boring white body and rather bland black head. (It kind of sounds like I have a lot of acne when I say that. Which is true, by the way.) I do have a little black spot, but it looks kind of stupid on my otherwise all-white belly. Also, unlike your sweet and endearing large ears, I have weird ears that are a result of being the offspring of a dumbo and regular rat. My ears are too big to be normal, but they’re too small to be cute like yours are. Lastly, my tail is very boring. Unlike your charming multi-colored tail, mine is one boring brownish-pink color. Can you please help me look more attractive? No one wants to be my friend. Not even my amazingly beautiful and lovable sister.
– Swon Yhae
You sound a lot like my sister, Soigné, so I will tell you exactly what I told her: no one can ever be as cute and charming as I am. But you can try. I would suggest buying a SinaiSüt™ ($599999.99 w/o s&h), which you wear over your normal, bland fur. It can be slightly stifling and sweaty when you wear it all day long, but it is totally worth it, since you will look exactly like me. It even adds flab to your belly so you can be pleasantly plump like me! If you are a cheapskate (like my sister), you might want to consider dying your fur. I have my own line of fur-dye colors so that everyone can look like me. SinaiBlaak™ and SinaiWightte™ are just two of the many colors I sell (two, to be exact). Each costs only $299.99 for a 2 oz. bottle (fake flab not included)! You can also buy a FaikkTayle™ ($799.99) from me. You slip it over your real tail, and it adds faux multi-colored effects to your tail. It is made of rubber, though, so it is very delicate. I would recommend not running your tail through a meat grinder while wearing it or running around in acid rain. That can be very damaging. As for your ears, I would suggest cutting off the parts that make yours look awkwardly large (but not large enough to be cute) so that you look like a normal rat. It may be painful, but you will be glad you did it later on. If you would like to learn about other products that can help make you look more like me, call (123) LUV SISI (call that number to order also). I hope this helped!
– Sinai the Great
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