Ask Sinai #9

Dear Sinai,
You are an okay rat. I mean, you are a nice rat, but you are pretty average. I am also a very average rat. I am not exceptionally smart, funny, or talented. I was wondering how you somehow managed to become a very successful rat despite your averageness. I do not think I am destined to be big and famous like you, but I do want to live a successful life. Can you give me tips?

– Plain Old Ordinary Priscilla Bucket

Dear P.O.O.P Bucket,
Let me establish one fact before I continue: I AM NOT AN AVERAGE RAT. I am an extraordinarly witty, cute, funny, funny, smart, funny, kind, funny, adorable, attractive, funny, beautiful, exceptional, stellar, outstanding, kind, cute, hilarious, funny, funny, soigné, remarkable, poetic, funny, intelligent, kind, funny, divine, funny, graceful, gracious, funny, lovable, funny, wonderful, magical, wonderful, funny, attractive, charming, delightful, kind, funny, delightful, humble, and non-repetitive rat. I am in no way average. I don’t know what would ever make you think that that awful word could ever describe the Divine Ruler of Everything. Obviously, you are mentally diseased. I recommend you find a qualified doctor to help you find a cure (if any) to your mental illness. I believe Dr. S. I. Naithegreat, my dearest doctor friend, would be very good at helping you. She can be contacted by calling (123) LUV SISI. Now, onto your question. As you are mentally ill, I do not believe you would be able to understand any answers if I wrote them, so therefore I will not bother. Besides, insulting the most important rat alive pretty much ruins any chances you have of a successful life. I have friends in higher places than you (but lower than me).

– Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything

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Sometimes, I like to dream about talking to Sinai the Great, and I think that I'll never be able to do that. But then I remember that I can just comment on one of her many fantastic blog posts, and I immediately cheer up.

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