Monthly Archives: August 2013

Hot New Trend: Headlessness

What’s the hottest new trend for animals and humans around the world? Headlessness, duh! Headlessness is the act of being headless or at least trying to be headless.

034

Olivia had troubles trying to make her head disappear, so she finally gave up and pretended that she didn’t have one.

Headlessness is really hot now because being headless also means being faceless, and if you have an ugly face, then no one has to look at it! Also, no one has to comb their hair or put on make-up when they are headless, which is totally awesome because hair and make-up are very time-consuming activities. Also, if you are shy, you have an excuse to not make eye contact (because you don’t have any eyes)!

016

Headlessness also makes your body more streamlined, as proven by Sinai the Great in this picture. It also makes you look really cute. Warning: Being headless for more than five minutes may cause neck pain.

Surprisingly, Sinai’s sister, Soigné, is actually on board with this trend (for once). She usually sulks in a corner and totally shuns everyone, but for once, instead of sulking, she sulks headlessly! Amazing, right? Here are some pictures of Soigné being headless. Shocking.

122

Look at this big ball of white evilness. Just think of all the poor children rats she was probably eating that made her so fat.

wpid-2013-05-12-20.08.47.jpg

Sinai tried asking Soigné why she suddenly decided to try and be trendy to see if she could put an explanation on these pictures, but Soigné did not answer (which did not surprise Sinai, as Soigné hates to be social). Seeing as Soigné probably was trying to be a pain in the invisible head on purpose, Sinai decided to ignore her annoying sister and find other rats who were being headless. Here they are.

A rat with a "censored sign" in front of its face (which you can still see, by the way)

Mojave’s head is nowhere to be found. How strange. I know that it is certainly not behind that humongous theta!

If you wish to maintain a clean public image, you must make sure to groom all parts of you, even the parts no one should ever see. Like your pinky toe.

Can you see Dimples’ head? Because I sure can’t. Nope. Definitely not here.

016

Okay, I know what you’re thinking. Well, guess what? This is not Sinai. This is Ianis, who happens to look very much like Sinai. Yes, this pictures looks an awful lot like the one of Sinai earlier in the post. However, it is of Ianis, and not Sinai, so it is not the same.

059

It’s Olivia, again! Here head must have disappeared properly this time. I wonder where it went. Not under the cat cap, obviously.

wpid-20121123192355.jpg

It’s Mojave… again. I wonder where his head keeps on going. Well, if there’s one place it can’t be, it’s inside that Yogies bag, eating dried yogurt!

Negev 003

You can’t see Negev’s head in this picture. Yes, there is something that resembles his head… but “resembles” is the key word. It isn’t his head, however precious it might be. (Very precious!)

Advertisements
Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

A Sinai Tale #10: DENIAL – A Story With a Moral

image

There once was a very furry cat who had fur the color of her fur. This cat was known as Olivia, and she lived a very easy life. She lived with two humans, another cat, and also two rats. Olivia never spent time with anyone except for her humans, so she did not even know she was living with other animals until she realized that all of her food disappearing wasn’t due to magic.

Olivia wasn’t too fazed by the discovery of another cat, but that was before she discovered the other two animals she was living with– a fat black and white chumpy rat named Sigh Nigh and her “dingaling sister,” Swanyay.

The cat discovered the two rodents on one average day (comfortable temperature with not a chance of rain) when she was exploring her house. She had suddenly discovered an orange room where she had thought there was only a decorative door, and it was in this room that she found the fat rat and her sister.

Now, Olivia was very shocked to find the rats. She had always thought that rats were like tiny cats, but the ones that she saw (which said that they really were rats) looked nothing at all like tiny cats! First of all, they had extremely pointy noses, and someome had cur their ears into a disturbing round shape. Also, the rats had, instead of fur, peach fuzz on their feet. Both of the rats looked like they didn’t have necks (?!), and the fat one, Sigh Nigh, was extremely pear shaped. Olivia was very frightened by the messed-up creatures, but when she saw their tails, she almost fainted.

They had stringy naked tails that looked scaly, which was nothing like Olivia’s fluffy and furry tail.

The scared cat thought that she might be able to get away from the demented rats without them seeing her, but alas, that was not to happen. As soon as Olivia put one paw down to try and retreat, the fat Sigh Nigh whipped around and instantly noticed Olivia.

“Yo kitty, why you be looking so weird?” asked Sigh Nigh. “What’s with the flat nose, the nasty elf ears, and the furry tail? Them make you look really odd looking, you know. Here, in case you don’t know, this is me tail. It is very trendy to have a hairless tail, you know. Also, they be easy to clean.” Sigh Nigh reached out to Olivia with her tail, but sadly Olivia was so scared of the rats that she did not register what Sigh Nigh was saying. All she heard was “Squeak squeak I’m really scary roar,” and all she saw was a frightening naked tail coming straight to her face.

That was the breaking point. The terrified cat immediately curled up and turned her face away from Sigh Nigh’s menacing tail. She promised to herself that she would not leave the pillow she was sitting on until the rat grew hair on her tail.

To this day, Olivia sits on her pillow in denial of reality.

Moral: Sinai is a cute rat!

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Ten Most Annoying People In The World According to Sinai

There are a lot of annoying people in the world. However, some are more annoying than others. Thankfully, Sinai has been kind enough to compile a list of the most annoying people she knows so that you never have to encounter them and their annoyingness. Sinai knows a lot of people, and from all these people, she has picked the following ten for the most annoying of them all. Do you know how irritating these people are? They are so annoying that Sinai wants to rip their faces off of them whenever she sees them. That is pretty annoying, you’ve got to agree. Note: Some of the people on this list are not… people.


THE TEN MOST ANNOYING “PEOPLE” IN THE WORLD

1.) Soigné Blight

145

Soigné is a very annoying rat. Not only is she the detestable white and black color, she also is white and black. And her name is hard to spell. Stupid French names! Also, Soigné is very disrespectful to her loving sister, Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything. Sinai will order Soigné to do something simple, like clean the entire house, yard, garage, and the garden shed in two hours, and Soigné will be a slacker and do only half that list. Ugh! Her lack of any good qualities and lack of trying to appear like she does puts this awful rat on the top of the list.

2.) Mojave Cheeziki
Mojave 024

Mojave is like Soigné… only male, and bigger. He is the brother of the amazing King Negev, Boss of You, Ruler of the World, and Master of the Universe, and, like his female counterpart, Mojave has absolutely no respect for his lovely brother! All he does is sit around in his green vest and act all sulky.

3.) Miley Cyrus’ Tongue

 

This tongue has obviously lost what mind it did have. Although, if I was in Miley Cyrus’ mouth, I would probably go crazy, too.

4.)  Kohl’s Saleswoman

Sinai doesn’t have a problem with the lady portraying the saleswoman, but she hates the lady being portrayed! She says, “She make me sick to me stomach. She remind me of creepy Old Navy mannequins. That is not a compliment.”

5.) Soigné

065

Yeah, I don’t know if I already said this, but Soigné is really annoying. Like, over-the-top annoying. She makes me sick.

6.) Honda #moneyprobzzz Man

Sinai couldn’t find a picture of this guy because apparently that commercial hasn’t been on as much as the other ones (thank Sinai), but he is still annoying….zzz. Just kidding. Sinai would never do anything as annoying as adding three z’s onto everything she sayzzz. #spellingprobzzz

7.) Justin Bieber

Did Justin poop his diaper again?! Sinai hates looking at his butt all the time and wonders why he even bother wearing pants when he doesn’t know how to wear them properly. He also has a habit of unnecessarily walking around shirtless because we obviously haven’t all seen enough of his body. Sinai says, “If anyone wants to see a cute butt, why don’t you all just look at mine? I don’t bother wearing pants, unlike certain people around here.”#justinprobzzz

8.) Bing

bingisnotgoogle

B.I.N.G.: Bing Is Not Google. Sinai hates Bing. Bing is a rip-off of Google. Bing sounds stupid when it is used repetitively. Bing has gotten 2600 likes on Facebook. 2600 is a tiny fraction of the amount of people actively using Facebook, which says something.

9.) Those Who Do Not Love Sinai

Look at this big ball of white evilness. Just think of all the poor children rats she was probably eating that made her so fat.

AKA: Soigné

10.) Restasis Doctor and Patient

Seeing this commercial makes Sinai cry and NOT IN A GOOD WAY. Although, I suppose that is kind of good, as it means that she won’t need Restasis! Sinai just hates those overly perfect people who coincidentally all have light grey-ish eyes (with the exception of ONE woman in the entire commercial). She also hates it when the doctor writes “Restasis” on her pad of paper. It’s just… annoying.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Oh, Scrabble!

158

See? Even Scrabble loves Sinai. (Sinai is on the left, in case you cannot see her due to her amazing camouflage abilities.) It’s too bad that certain rats *coughcoughSWANYAYcoughcough* don’t love Sinai nearly as much as this electronic version of a board game does. Boo hoo hoo.

Note: Apparently Sinai is not a word according to Scrabble… even though “soigne” is!!! Excuse me! Sinai is not sending you any thank you cards/gifts now!

Tagged , , , , , , ,

How To Make The World’s Strongest Passwords For All of Your Online Accounts As Written By Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything, Who Is a Complete Genius When It Comes To Making Up Strong and Unhackable Passwords

041

Soigné shunned Sinai when Sinai tried to help her make smart choices with her passwords, and now her bank account has been hacked! That’s what happens when you ignore good advice!

So you want to make strong passwords, ya? Well you made the right choice by coming to Sinai the Great for advice. Sinai is smarter than everyone in the world, so naturally, she is very good at making strong passwords. After you finish reading this delightful and quite helpful tutorial, you will be invincible against evil hackers! Note: None of the passwords used in this tutorial are Sinai’s. Really. They aren’t. They’re… not hers.


How To Make Really Strong Passwords That No One Will Ever Be Able To Guess!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By Sinai, Your Friendly Divine Ruler of Everything

  1. You’ve got to pick a base for your password that you will remember, so why not pick the name of a rat who you admire (e.g., Sinai, Sinai, or perhaps, Sinai). After you find the perfect base, you are ready to start altering it to become very strong.
  2. You are off to a very good start. Since just one plain word is very easy to guess, it is time to add some numbers to the end. As you have to live with your password, it is a very good idea to put numbers that you like at the end. I suggest: 123, [your favorite number], [the year you were born], 999, 123456789, 100, [the day of the month you were born], 1, etc. (E.g. Sinai123, Sinai9, Sinai592012, Sinai2012)
  3. Now you should add some random symbols around your password just to confuse hackers even more. Take this weird thing I, Sinai the Great, found floating on my keyboard just yesterday: x. What a weird symbol! Soigné says that it is called “Theeletterecks”, but I have no idea what that is. Did you know that it even comes in two different sizes? Take some interesting symbols like Theeletterecks and put them in front and in back of your base (ex. XxSinaix2012X). No one will ever guess what you did!
  4. After this, it is time to change some of the letters in your password to numbers that look kind of like them because obviously no one who guesses your password will assume that you used anything but normal letters in your words. An example of this is: XxS1nai2012xX.
  5. Add some more symbols. E.g. ♥Xx$$$$S1na◘i♥2*****&(S(*♣♠XX♥♥01◘☼2x’;♥☻X@!
  6. Think about your password now. Will you be able to remember what it is? If you cannot, keep it, but be sure to write it down on a post-it, and make sure you put said post-it on your computer monitor. In fact, you should probably also send a copy of that post-it to your Divine Ruler of Everything just in case you lose yours. Also include your medical history, credit card number, email, phone number, and several photos of you at all angles. If you lose it, she can look up your password for you! You could always have it sent to your email, but that’s for losers! Don’t worry, though, because Sinai would never hack into your account. Really! She wouldn’t.
Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Olivia Lost Her Hairbrush!

image

Olivia is having troubles finding her beloved hairbrush, which appears to have disappeared. She is sure she left it on her pillow when she last used it, but it is not to be found!

image

What will Olivia do without her trusty hot pink hairbrush?! She hasn’t found it after searching for hours, and is feeling quite drpressed.
Tagged , , , , , , ,

A Sinai Tale #9: Why Science Is Evil

image

Science is bad because it is interrupting my holy and sacred nap time. THANKS A LOT, EVOLUTION FOR CREATING THIS CREATURE THAT CAN’T EVEN RESPECT ME AND MY BEAUTY SLEEP.

Science is evil. People make it seem all great and stuff, but really, it is terrible. Science is the reason why Sinai cannot just wish for more servant rats and see them magically appear. Science is the reason why Sinai is related to her awful sister, Soigné. Science is the reason why Sinai is related to her terrible sister, Soigné. And science is the reason Sinai is related to her disgusting sister, Soigné.

image

Curse you, science. Oh wait, I can’t do that. Science doesn’t let me curse people.

But the worst of all the things that science is responsible is this thing that is so horrifying that even Soigné looks like a cute bunny in comparison.

image

Oh science, how could you be so cruel? I can’t believe that you let this atrocity to happen!

Yes, science is the reason that the evil Mojoigné exists. If not for science, this vicious beast may have never been created… but alas, it has.

Mojoigné– a combination of the two worst siblings ever (Soigné and Mojave), is all thanks to a science experiment gone horribly wrong.

You see, one day, the ever so charming Sinai the Great, was feeling a bit peckish. However, her tiny pantry building (a meager 2000 square feet!), did not have the taste she was looking for. As Sinai really was craving a certain taste, she decided to combine what she did have. The very cute Sinai took some doughnuts, fried twinkies, french fries, waffle mix, sugar, whole milk, chocolate syrup, yogurt, and whipped cream, and headed for the kitchen. Halfway there, she remembered that it was being renovated (again, ugh), so she headed towards her sister’s laboratory, which had a hot plate.

When she reached the lab, her ugly sister came out to greet her. Soigné’s greedy eyes immediately saw the doughnuts, which she grabbed in a nanosecond. After grubbing around with her dirty and very unsanitary paws for a minute, she finally stole a glazed doughnut and one with sprinkles on it and handed the box to her annoying and equally gross friend, Mojave (who also happened to be the ungrateful brother of the wonderful King Negev, Boss of You, Ruler of the World, and Master of the Universe).

“Hey! Quit infecting my doughnuts, you filthy parasite!” screeched Sinai, seeing Mojave stick his greasy, dirty paws all over her doughnuts.

Mojave did not reply. He just stuffed a jelly doughnut in his fat, slobbery and needy mouth.

After wrestling with the disgustingly grimy duo, Sinai finally got the doughnuts back. She then went into the laboratory, took all the keys to it, and locked herself inside. She did not want or need the pair to suddenly burst in, grab her chocolate syrup and squirt it all over their already oily and dirty faces.

Sinai took all of her ingredients except for the donuts and shoved them into a test tube. After pondering for a while, Sinai finally decided on a powdered donut and shoved it in the test tube with her delicate and attractive paws. She did not really know how to use a hot plate, so she put the tube on it and waited for her donut to get even more golden brown.

The beautiful Sinai had been hearing scratching noises with her sensitive and acute hearing all this time, so she finally got up to check them out. After looking out a couple windows, the intelligent Sinai found the source: Soigné and Mojave had noticed that they had been locked out of the lab, and they wanted to come back in. Sinai could hear them wailing about how they never meant to take her doughnuts and were really sorry (likely story) even from inside.

Sinai was about to make a really rude gesture quite unlike her normal polite self at the two useless rats, but then she heard a loud explosion from the area that the hot plate was located in.

The lovely rat quickly rushed back to her test tube… only to discover a monster that came to be known as Mojoigné.

Mojoigné was like a nightmare come to life. It had Soigné’s ugly face, greasy black fur, and beady eyes for its head, but for its body, it had Mojave’s disgustingly flabby body with his straw-like and ungroomed fur sticking out in every direction. What was even worse, the Soigné part was completely unsaturated and GREY, while the Mojave part was a disgusting GREEN– the two rats’ favorite colors.

Sinai, despite being quite brave, was scared to her bones. “Aye yai yai,” she squeaked to herself. “Not only do I have to look at this terrifying thing, but I also did not get my food! I wonder how this thing evenhappened. I guess both Soigné and Mojave got their DNA all over my doughnut while they were rifling around the box, and the combination of different settings allowed this to happen. Well remind me to never combine those foods together ever again.”

The evil and angry Mojoigné turned to Sinai and growled, “Do you got any DOUGHNUTS?”

The trembling but courageous Sinai replied, “Try the box right next to the hot plate.”

“Me already eat them all. Now, where more?” Mojoigné angrily inquired.

“Um, there’s a doughnut shop down the road,” said Sinai (even though the doughnut shop was slightly further than that).

Luckily, Mojoigné was very dumb, like both his front and back parts. “Okay,” he grunted before crashing through a laboratory wall and effectively destroying the entire building. On the way to the doughnut shop, he stepped on both Mojave and Soigné (who were both shocked to see him).

To this day, Mojoigné roams across the country searching for doughnut shops that he can raid. So if you ever go to a donut shop and get stepped on by a giany, doughnut lusting monster, you will know whose fault it is for the creation of this terror: SCIENCE.

the end

P.S. In case anyone says anything… I never failed no test in skool! I didint fale no math, no history, no foreign lanuage, no science, no engliSh exam! So don’t believe nobody who say I do (if they say I do). **** $1N@! ****


Mojoigné isn’t real. He is just Sinai’s way of making herself feel better about failing her third grade science class years ago and also her way of making herself feel better than me. Don’t believe a word she said. ~ Soigné

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Unedited Pictures of Sinai!

All of the pictures in this post were not edited in any way. You have Sinai’s word for it, none of them were tweaked even slightly. Although some look like they have filters on them, they don’t– the lighting was just really off. Really. Sinai does not lie. All of these pictures are unedited. You may doubt it, but it is the truth.

[Links to original articles with images in them are provided]


UNEDITED PHOTOS OF SINAI!!!!

Sinai and her friend, Ianis (who is totally not another picture of Sinai photoshopped into this)This is Sinai (in the front) with her good friend, Ianis. Ianis is not Sinai pretending to be another rat, in case you were thinking that. So what if Ianis’ name backwards just so happens to spell “SINAI?” Sinai and Ianis are their own rats, and that is proven by this completely unedited picture of them hanging out. [link]

wpid-sinai-and-olivia.pngHere is Sinai with her friend, Olivia. Olivia is sitting on her paw oddly, which is why you can’t see the rest of her body. And yes, Sinai is bigger than Olivia… and tinted pink. [link] [link]

This image was not photoshopped or altered in any way, shape or form. It may seem strange, but yes, Ianis and Sinai were playing in a completely purple world with their names floating above their precious little heads. Maybe you've never seen that before. It doesn't mean it doesn't exist. With Sinai

Just Ianis and Sinai hanging out again. Ianis is the one in the front. You may have noticed that she looks an awful lot like Sinai, but that is just the way things are. Also, I would like to confirm that Ianis and Sinai were in a completely purple world, and their names were hovering above their heads. [link]

wpid-wallpaper.png

What a cute rat! I wonder why that red blob is there… well, I know it’s definitely not because the picture was EDITED, right? As for the radiating lines, the light was funny. Don’t blame Sinai. She didn’t alter this picture at all. [link(Please ignore the name of the article which this link links to.)

sinai-and-friends

Hahaha! It’s Sinai and her friends wearing their Barney suits! Sinai is the one the purple one (whatever its name is), while Ianis is wearing the green one (whatever her name is). Lastly, Sinai’s sister (whatever her name is) is in the yellow guy’s suit (I forget what his name is). Yes, Sinai’s sister doesn’t have a white blaze on it like whatever her name is normally does, but she had her fur dyed that day. [link]

wpid-sinaaa.png

Sinai working out at the gym. Nothing phony here. [link]

This photo was not edited in any way. Ianis and Sinai just happen to look very alike. With Sinai

Ianis (right) and Sinai (left) again. Nothing phony here, either. It’s just a coincidence that the two happened to be in the exact same position at the exact same time. [link] [link]

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Olivia Reflects On The World

image

Olivia reflecting on the world and the universe.

Hello. I am Olivia. Today, I reflected on the universe. I have reached several conclusions thanks to my reflections. Here are the conclusions I have reached. There are eleven, in case you can’t count.

1. I am a cat.
2. I am a feline.
3. I am related to lions.
4. I go meow.
5. The Queen of England is the queen of England.
6. I am an orangish color.
7. I have fur.
8. Sinai is a rat.
9. Soigné is also a rat.
10. I am Olivia.
11. I like to eat.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,
%d bloggers like this: