Monthly Archives: March 2014

Hodge’s Frozen Yogurt Bar

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Two very hungry looking cats who obviously need some tasty FROZEN YOGURT

 As everyone knows, Hodge is amazing at creating frozen yogurt that tastes delicious. At least three cats beg Hodgie-boy each day for his tasty and totally nutritious frozen yogurt, so he figured, why not make a frozen yogurt bar (where he can at least get a profit). After about two months of convincing the town to hand over property to a cat, Hodge finally opened Hodge’s Outstanding Delicious Great-frozen-yogurt Eating-place (or HODGE for short) this Sunday.

Hodge offers many amazing flavours at his frozen yogurt bar, including, but not restricted to: Fur, Yummy Tuna, Podge-Flavour, Snot, Whisker Clippings, Friskies® Savory Shreds, Meow Mix® Tender Centers, and the Daily Special. His Podge-Flavour is apparently very accurate to Podge’s actual “taste” and has received rave reviews such as this one by a not suspicious cat, Hodgetta Hodgerson: “5 STARS I LUV IT OMG IT TASTES SO MUCH LIKE PODGE SO GOOD PLS KEEP ON SELLING IT HODGE P.S. U ARE MY HERO!1!!!1! <3” (on doubtfuloriginsreviews.com)

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How Hodge perfected the Podge flavour

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Dirty Paws by Of Monsters and Men Parody

Jumping up and down on the floorsi
I am (of course) an animal
Sinai is also an animal
She had a sister, who rolled around
The sister’s name was Soigné,
And she often acted like an ape
One day, Soigné ran away
And she never came back (hooray!)

Her grimy paws and greasy coat,
She ran down the driveway slope.
The forest of carefully landscaped trees,
They used to look like a minor catastrophe
Soigné had declared a war
The giant $60 million palace wasn’t big enough for them all
Sinai, she got help from below
From unworthy peasants and a teletubby named Po

And for a while, Soigné grew mold (on her cheese)
Her friends were scared and ran into their holes
The forest that once was green
Was coloured pink by Sinai’s spray painting machines.
Sinai took down Soigné and her friends
And that’s how the story goes
The story of the runaway with those four germy paws

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A Sinai Limerick

There once was a rat named Sinai
Everyone who saw her said “my oh my”
Cuz she was pretty
And smart and real witty
Plus many more adjectives I cannot fit into the limerick rhythm

She was adorable, white and black
Sometimes she gave her sister (Soigné) a light smack
Soigné deserved it
She was a little twit
Sinai, meanwhile, had a pet yak

Everyone loved this lovable rat
She was not skinny, but fat
Fat is good
Soigné was a hood
P.S. Once Sinai ate a cat (jk)

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