Category Archives: Inventions & Products

Hodge’s Frozen Yogurt Bar

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Two very hungry looking cats who obviously need some tasty FROZEN YOGURT

 As everyone knows, Hodge is amazing at creating frozen yogurt that tastes delicious. At least three cats beg Hodgie-boy each day for his tasty and totally nutritious frozen yogurt, so he figured, why not make a frozen yogurt bar (where he can at least get a profit). After about two months of convincing the town to hand over property to a cat, Hodge finally opened Hodge’s Outstanding Delicious Great-frozen-yogurt Eating-place (or HODGE for short) this Sunday.

Hodge offers many amazing flavours at his frozen yogurt bar, including, but not restricted to: Fur, Yummy Tuna, Podge-Flavour, Snot, Whisker Clippings, Friskies® Savory Shreds, Meow Mix® Tender Centers, and the Daily Special. His Podge-Flavour is apparently very accurate to Podge’s actual “taste” and has received rave reviews such as this one by a not suspicious cat, Hodgetta Hodgerson: “5 STARS I LUV IT OMG IT TASTES SO MUCH LIKE PODGE SO GOOD PLS KEEP ON SELLING IT HODGE P.S. U ARE MY HERO!1!!!1! <3” (on doubtfuloriginsreviews.com)

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How Hodge perfected the Podge flavour

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THE MOST AMAZING INVENTION EVER INVENTED! GET IT NOW FOR A DISCOUNTED PRICE OF ONLY $99.99!!!

Recently, Sinai was experimenting with her chemistry set, and she combined a lot of nitrogen with some oxygen, some water vapor, methane, carbon dioxide, and several other gases. What she made was so amazing that she has decided to share it with you!!! Sinai knows that you will love her fabulous new invention called Aerh™, and because of that, she is offering it for a limited discounted price of $99.99. But hurry up, because quantity is limited, and everybody else will also be scrambling to pick up their phones once they finish reading about the life-changing Aerh™!

A ginger tabby staring at the camera.

Pictured: Olivia experiencing the amazing new invention, Aerh™!! She really likes it, by the way.

Sinai has found many uses for Aerh™, making it very versatile! For example, Aerh™ helps you be and stay alive, which is totally cool and fun. Sinai discovered that, by using another one of her amazing inventions, LUNNZ™ (buy by calling the number provided at the bottom for only $999.99), you can magically process Aerh™ so that you do not die! She is not sure how, but the process involves sucking in Aerh™ and letting it out again. Another use for Aerh™ is not making you explode! If you are in a room full of Aerh™, you will not explode because the Aerh™ is pushing down on you or something like that. Yeah, Sinai is not really sure how Aerh™ works its magic. However, if you remove all the Aerh™ from the room, you will create a Vaky00m™ (patented by Sinai, so don’t steal), there will be no pressure (no pressure not removing all the Aerh™, haha), and you will burst into many tiny pieces. Lastly, you can walk on Aerh™*. This is called flying, and it is so much fun!

Since Sinai is such a kind-hearted soul, she has kindly allowed all you fortunate people to be able to buy her fantastic invention. From today to next yesterday, Aerh™ will be sold for a special discounted price of $99.99 per one unit of 2mg of Aerh™ (plus shipping and handling)! Yes, I know this may not sound very low to you. However, I would like to remind you that Aerh™ allows you to live and not be blown up into thousands of tiny pieces. Is your life worth so little that you will not spend $99.99 to keep it? Anyhow, I would also like to point out that the normal price of Aerh™ is $999,999,999,999.99 (per unit). You will be able pay for your Aerh™ in nine easy payments of $11.11.

So what are you waiting for? Call (123) LUV SISI today to order your Aerh™!

 * If you are not a bird, bat, or winged insect, we cannot guarantee that you will be able to actually do this. Please do not sue Sinai if you attempt to walk on air and accidentally break your neck.

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Olivia Models The Next Big Fashion Fad: CAT CAPS

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Cat caps are quite fashionable and stylish. They come in multiple sizes. The one above is XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXL, in case you were wondering. (In Fuzzie Bawttim Orinjish Pinkish Orinj™)

Watch out, hip hop shirts, there’s a new fashion trend in town.

What is this new, amazing, trendy item? It’s a cap… for your cat!

Cat caps are very comfortable and good for both warm and cool very cold weather. They are knit hats that you just plop onto your cat’s head. Cat caps are kind of hard to keep on the feline’s head, but who cares when your cat can look so cute?

Cat caps are part of Sinai Blight’s SinaiByootie INC. fashion line. You can also buy siPawlisshe™, Tayill Reens™, SinaiSüts™, and fur dye with your cat caps! Cat caps come in many, many colors. Buy all of them in case you find out that your cat hates a certain color!

THE MANY COLORS YOU CAN BUY CAT CAPS IN! Modeled by Oliveeyah Wutevirhernaimiz

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Lait Bloo™

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Stil Lait Butt Nawt Soh Lait Bloo™

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Oliveeyahz Fer™

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Oliveeyahz i’z™

Aren’t they cute? If you want to buy a cat cap, please call (123) LUV SISI and tell the operator the details: what color, what size (all of the caps above are XS, but you can also get XL, and XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXL). Depending on what type of cat you order, the price will range from $99 to $999,999. Cash only.

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Stop being naked!

Do you ever sometimes feel like your tail is just a little… naked? Well I know for a fact that you have. Don’t even try denying it, because you know it’s the truth. Tails are so overlooked in fashion these days. I mean, you can get fake tail coverings, but those just make your naked tail look like another naked tail, which is kind of not okay, especially if you are trying to stop being so naked on your tail. Well, lucky for you, SinaiByootie INC. (run by your favorite rat, Sinai) has created an accessory that goes on your tail and makes your tail stop looking so naked. It’s called… The Tayill Reen™!

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What you look like before you get The Tayill Reen™: somewhat happy, but not nearly as happy as you could possibly be, as your tail is suffering the sad fate of being NAKED while the rest of you is obviously fully clothed. (Note: you are probably not this beautiful, nor will you ever be, as you are not Sinai the Great, and no one else in the world is nearly as beautiful as her.)

The Tayill Reen™ is a handy little ring that you slip onto your tail. (DUH!) All you have to do to prevent yourself from losing it is keep your tail sticking up in the air all day long and NEVER LET IT FALL TO THE GROUND, AS YOUR TAYILL REEN™ MIGHT JUST ROLL RIGHT OFF, AND YOU’D NEVER NOTICE UNTIL EVERYONE WAS LAUGHING AT YOU FOR HAVING A NAKED TAIL. That is very easy, though, and it is definitely worth tiring your tail muscles so that you do not have to walk around with a naked tail until you can find yours/buy a new one. (In case you are wondering, Sinai tried to make a no-slip Tayill Reen™, but the spikes that she inserted inside the ring ended up causing the test subject– who was not in any way related to Sinai, even distantly– some minor pain. Sinai did not want to cause her customers pain, no matter how minor, so therefore she pulled the ring. She did, however, let her test subject– who was still not even distantly related to Sinai– keep the ring if she wanted.)

The Tayill Reen™ also comes in a multitude of beautiful colors. For example, you can get it in the signature siPawlisshe color, Püpey™, or you can get it in a cool new color, which is called DharckPüpey™ (which is like Püpey™, only darker). The Tayill Reen™ even comes in some fun and peppy patterns– there’s stripes, dots, plaid, little Sinai heads, camo, gingham, paisley, check, scales, and more! (Patterns are available in both Püpey™ and DharckPüpey™ and in a unique color that is only available in patterns known as PhaydidPüpey™, which is like Püpey™, only faded.) Also, there are different finishes to the different colors (not included PhaydidPüpey™) if you don’t want a pattern, but you don’t want a plain color, either. You can get either of the two colors in sparkle, matte finish, textured, iridescent, or with Sinai’s fur in the ring (note: getting Sinai’s fur will cause the price to increase a little). But that’s not all! If you are the Divine Ruler of Everything, you can get The Tayill Reen™ in pink/purple/maroon/red/coral/orange/yellow/lime/green/turquoise/blue/indigo/24 karat gold/sterling silver (with or without patterns/special finish)! (If you are not, then you are not allowed to have fun somewhat more interesting and less barfy colors.)

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Yes, these look slightly barfy. However, that does not mean that they are not also trendy. Just think of how great they would go with that booger hanging out of your nostril.

When you get The Tayill Reen™, you will feel suddenly lighter, as if you are no longer held down by the burden that your naked tail has been to your life. You haven’t noticed how heavy it is, since you have never lived without this boulder on your shoulders, or rather, your butt, but when you are suddenly relieved of it, you will be amazed at how great you feel. And who wouldn’t like to healthier and younger? Exactly!

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This is you after you get your Tayill Reen™. Notice how much happier you are. Also, you are positively radiant and crying tears of joy. What a lovely sight. (Note: This is not really you. This is actually Sinai the Great, in case you suddenly thought that you were close to as beautiful as Sinai is. No illusions of grandeur for you.)

Are you convinced yet? Call (123) LUV SISI to order your inexpensive Tayill Reen™ today! You won’t regret your purchase, I guarantee it! (Costs: $999.99 plain, $1999.99 pattern, $2599.99 special finish, $5999.99 Sinai’s fur special finish, $0 if you are the Divine Ruler of Everything.)

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Eight Pictures of Sinai the Great’s Exceptionally Attractive and Very Beautiful Mouth (Complete With Teeth) PLUS An Exclusive Opportunity to Have a Mouth Just Like Sinai’s

Who knew? Sinai has an exceptionally attractive and very beautiful mouth (complete with teeth) that is sure to make you faint the first time you see it! (Note: You will not faint because it is ugly. You will faint because it is so lovely, and you cannot believe that such a delicate and pretty thing could ever exist.)  But what does this beauty of a mouth look like, exactly? Well look no further because below are eight pictures of the very same mouth that probably haunts all of your happiest dreams. (If you do not recall dreaming about Sinai’s dreamy, dreamy mouth, do not fret. A lot of rats have troubles with remember what they dream about. It is very likely that you have dreamed about Sinai’s teeth before, but you just can’t remember the delightful experience, which is a pity because it was probably the best thing that will ever happen to you.)


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In this picture, you can clearly see Sinai’s beautiful teeth that everyone is jealous of and wishes to have. Sadly, they are not for sale. Although, if you are interested in having a mouth like Sinai’s, you should scroll down a little further.

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Here, you can see your favorite Divine Ruler of Everything posing with her mouth open. You can also see a vicious rat whose name we cannot say nor write (due to the curse that is set upon anyone who says it) in the purple plastic rat igloo in the background, but it is easier to ignore it.

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Sinai is very good at climbing cage bars, as you can see. She is also very good at having an attractive rat mouth.

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Here is a close-up on the best thing since Sinai was born. (After her beautiful dumbo ears, of course.)

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Sinai is clearly very good at posing with her mouth open. Either that, or someone is very good at timing pictures to catch Sinai at just the right moments. (It is more likely to be the first option, though.)

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She is also highly skilled in the area of climbing on cage bars and shaking her head back and forth. What a lovely sight. I am so envious of that wonderful rat mouth of hers.

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From this angle, you can also see a close up of Sinai’s mouth, and even her dainty nostrils! What an exciting sight to behold! (Not only that, but you can also gaze upon her delightful dumbo ears and her fantastic and very sensitive whiskers that you often dream about.)

Sinai 072Here is Sinai and her lovely mouth again. Unfortunately, her beautiful mouth that makes rats all around the world faint from the shock of being able to see it happens to be in the same picture as that very same rat whose name we could not mention earlier (or now). It is a tragedy, indeed, but Sinai does not mind it, as you can clearly see that she is fighting the evil nuisance whose name must remain unspoken. We can assume that she won the fight as she is a very skilled warrior who has not lost a single battle yet.


If you would like a mouth just like Sinai’s very own stunning beauty, you are in luck! Call (123) LUV SISI any time from now to the end of eternity to receive an exclusive discount on a new mouth that looks exactly like Sinai’s! (It is made out of a very weak plastic that will probably dissolve from all your saliva in a month, but it is worth dishing out the money because Sinai has a beautiful mouth, and you know you want a beautiful mouth too.) The mouth itself costs $999,999.99, and once you get your mouth, you must find a certified surgeon to install your new body part. (We suggest Dr. S. I. Naithegreat, but you can also use Dr. Ianis Izzadochter, or Dr. Tae R. Gehtianis. They are all approved to perform the procedure.) Depending on which doctor you end up using, the surgery may cost between 1-10 (billion) dollars. As you can see, this is a very cheap procedure to go through to get your new mouth.

taylorswiftratmouth“It feels like a perfect night to get a new mouth/And look so happy/Ah ah, ah ah/It feels like a perfect day for plastic surgery/To love my new mouth/Ah ah, ah ah.”

 See?! Even Taylor Swift wants a new mouth by Sinai.* And doesn’t she look so happy to have her brand new mouth? I think she does. If you want to be fashionable, believe me, a rat mouth is exactly what you want. Call (123) LUV SISI right now to get a mouth that looks just like your favorite Divine Ruler of Everything’s!

* Taylor Swift did not really get a rat mouth. But that does not mean that you shouldn’t get one! In fact, buy a couple so that all of your friends can have them too! They will really thank you.

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Join $-MUNNY F!tne$$ TODAY!

DO YOU WANNA GET FIT?

If you wanna get fit, then you would really benefit from joining $-MUNNY F!tne$$ today!

$-MUNNY F!tne$$ is a gym club that you join that is run by everybody’s favorite rat, Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything, aka Sinai the Great, aka Sinai Blight, aka Sinai. By taking advantage of this amazing opportunity, not only will you waste tons of money on getting a “healthy” body (everyone knows that overweight is the way to go), but you also will be able to spend some quality time interacting with Sinai, if, by “interacting”, you mean watching an old video of her yelling rubbish into your ears for two full hours. Don’t worry, everyone who has gone through $-MUNNY F!tne$$ has had some really positive thoughts about it.

“I thought $-MUNNY F!tne$$ was going to suck from the description that was written in the brochure. But, me being a daredevil, I decided to try it. And you’d never believe it, but the so-called old video was in HD with surround sound audio! I was so stunned that I completely neglected to even do my workout, and you know what? I don’t even have a healthy body now! You really should join $-MUNNY F!tne$$. It is really nothing at all like what it sounds like on paper.”

Franny Bigfannie

If you are, for some strange reason, considering joining, you might want to see what the participants do. Here are a few pictures of what you will be doing for two full hours while watching Sinai’s fitness video. If you do not like climbing cage bars, stretching, or stretching, it is not recommended to view the following pictures.


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This is part of the educational video Sinai the Great has provided for $-MUNNY F!tne$$ members to watch. You, too, will learn how to climb cage bars while showing off your amazingly attractive little black spot. (Not recommended for rats who do not have little black spots or who are self conscious about their tummies.)

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Soigné Blight, also known as Sinai the Great’s unruly sister, tries out some stretching poses while a cardboard cut out of the one and only Sinai the Great stands in the background giving her some encouraging default phrases. Soigné later said that instead of being stiff, her arm now aches like crazy, but it definitely is a lot more flexible.

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Olivia the Cat also tries out some stretching poses. While doing so, she grooms the base of her tail, which is now very sanitized and hygienic. She is thankful to $-MUNNY F!tne$$ for providing her the opportunity to clean her tail and other appendages.


Now that you have seen the types of activities that members of $-MUNNY F!tne$$ do while participating, you are most likely better informed, and as you are better informed, you will probably be able to make a wiser decision. So now would you kindly please answer the quick and easy poll below? You must choose on of the provided answers. If you are torn between two, pick the one that comes earlier in the alphabet. If you are torn between two that come at the same time in the alphabet, you probably need to see a doctor because that means that you can’t decide between one answer and the same answer. And that’s a problem.

Now that you have made an informed decision, you may either continue (if you chose “yes”, “yeah”, “uh-huh”, “ya”, “sure”, “ok”, “k”, “yea”, “yay”, “okay”, “why not”, or “yup”) or not continue (if you did not do the poll, which means you actually should go back and do it) to sign up for $-MUNNY F!tne$$. Even though it is very expensive, you should still do it because Sinai has a soothing voice, and signing up will allow you to listen to her very soothing voice for two straight hours. And who wouldn’t want to listen to such a soothing voice for such a long period of time?

TO SIGN UP FOR $-MUNNY F!tne$$ CALL (123) LUV SISI RIGHT NOW!

The first nine callers get a .01% discount on their total price for membership, plus they get a free sticker at their first $-MUNNY F!tne$$ meeting.

COSTS ONLY $999.99 A MONTH FOR MEMBERSHIP! JOIN NOW! YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT LATER!

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Nail Polish By Sinai

Ever wanted some great looking nail polish to impress all of your friends with? Don’t say “no”, you know you have! After all, having pretty nails is how you become popular in this day and age! And the easiest way to get great nails/claws is to buy only the best nail polish from only the most esteemed line of beauty products – siPawlisshe™ by SinaiByootie INC., the same company who brought you SinaiWightte™ and SinaiBlaak™ fur dyes! siPawlisshe™ comes in 125, 373, 282 great, affordable colors* to decorate your claws with. Tested on real rats**, these awesome colors are just what you want. No matter what you’re feeling, there’s always a color to express yourself***! Get rid of your boring, naturally-colored, healthy nails! Replace them with interesting and funky-colored claws that everyone will be jealous of.

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Pupey™ is just one of the very attractive and fun colors made just for you by siPawlisshe™. Your friends will be so jealous when you show off your classy looking nails.

siPAWLISSHE™ COSTS ONLY $12345678.90 PER 14 ml. BOTTLE! BUY ALL THE COLORS BEFORE THEY’RE GONE! CALL (123) LUV SISI TO ORDER RIGHT NOW!


* Only two colors are available for commoners (Pupey™ & Klierre™). Please become a universal leader if you would like to access the 125, 373, 280 colors. :)
** siPawlisshe™ tested on Soigné Blight (definitely not Sinai the Great’s sister) for reactions to colors. Soigné was not in anyway blackmailed into liking all the colors. She really likes them.
*** You must buy all the colors in order to express yourself properly. Don’t worry, they’re very affordable.

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Ask Sinai #2

Dear Sinai,

     I love your stylish and chic sense of fashion. Your fur is so sleek and cute looking. And your cute little black spot is absolutely adorable. Can you please help me become more like you? I am very ugly looking, what with my nastily boring white body and rather bland black head. (It kind of sounds like I have a lot of acne when I say that. Which is true, by the way.) I do have a little black spot, but it looks kind of stupid on my otherwise all-white belly. Also, unlike your sweet and endearing large ears, I have weird ears that are a result of being the offspring of a dumbo and regular rat. My ears are too big to be normal, but they’re too small to be cute like yours are. Lastly, my tail is very boring. Unlike your charming multi-colored tail, mine is one boring brownish-pink color. Can you please help me look more attractive? No one wants to be my friend. Not even my amazingly beautiful and lovable sister.

Swon Yhae

Dear Swon,

    You sound a lot like my sister, Soigné, so I will tell you exactly what I told her: no one can ever be as cute and charming as I am. But you can try. I would suggest buying a SinaiSüt™ ($599999.99 w/o s&h), which you wear over your normal, bland fur. It can be slightly stifling and sweaty when you wear it all day long, but it is totally worth it, since you will look exactly like me. It even adds flab to your belly so you can be pleasantly plump like me! If you are a cheapskate (like my sister), you might want to consider dying your fur. I have my own line of fur-dye colors so that everyone can look like me. SinaiBlaak™ and SinaiWightte™ are just two of the many colors I sell (two, to be exact). Each costs only $299.99 for a 2 oz. bottle (fake flab not included)! You can also buy a FaikkTayle™ ($799.99) from me. You slip it over your real tail, and it adds faux multi-colored effects to your tail. It is made of rubber, though, so it is very delicate. I would recommend not running your tail through a meat grinder while wearing it or running around in acid rain. That can be very damaging. As for your ears, I would suggest cutting off the parts that make yours look awkwardly large (but not large enough to be cute) so that you look like a normal rat. It may be painful, but you will be glad you did it later on. If you would like to learn about other products that can help make you look more like me, call (123) LUV SISI (call that number to order also). I hope this helped!

– Sinai the Great


Have a question for Sinai? Comment on any post/page on this blog, and Sinai might consider answering it.

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Amazing New Invention!

Ever want a rat-like product that can do pratically anything, like be a pillow? We know you have. Don’t deny it. And because you want something like this so much, you should buy the EverydaySoigné™ (only $999999.99 w/o shiping & handling). It looks a lot like the famous Sinai the Great’s sister, Soigné (who it was named after), but it does way more than the actual rat does. Real-Soigné makes burnt toast for breakfast; EverydaySoigné™ is your breakfast. (She tastes delicious, by the way.) She is also your table, pillow, secretary, popularity-raiser, and so much more! (And besides, Real-Soigné is hard to replace. EverydaySoigné™ is easily replaced if it you accidentally kill it.) EverydaySoigné™ reduces the need to buy all sorts of extra products that you don’t really need, since EverydaySoigné™ does it all. Just look at what Sinai the Great does with her EverydaySoigné™.

BUY YOUR EVERYDAYSOIGNÉ™ TODAY!! ONLY $999999.99 W/O SHIPPING AND HANDLING (CALL 123 LUV SISI)

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