Today is Sinai’s second birthday! To celebrate, why don’t you admire these attractive pictures of her?
Have a happy Pre-Monthly Sï Half Day. Please enjoy it, but please don’t make any stupid choices (i.e. deciding that you actually like Soigné, choosing not to send Sinai a lovely gift of food and money). If you make stupid choices, you will be banished from the universe so that this lovely world can be kept clean of your disgusting type. Thank you, and have a sinailicious, good-choice-making day. (If you do not have a sinailicious day, we will regretably have to banish you as well.)
As you may or may not know, there is a Sinaiday in two days! (You actually better know this, because if you don’t, you will be executed by the state for not respecting Sinai.) It is the all-amazing Pre-Monthly Sï Half Day. In preparation for this lovely day, Sinai has created a fun poll for you to answer. You better answer good because if you don’t, you will be
executed by the state hugged…by Soigné, which is not good! (In fact, it is worse than being execute by the state. And by the way, that is still legal in Sinailand. So it actually could happen. But luckily, it won’t, since you are a Sinai-loving obedient citizen, am I right?)
Flashback Friday: Even back when Soigné was bigger than Sinai and when both were very young and immature (well, Soigné was at least) rats, Sinai still had to fear for her life at the paws of her vicious and evil sister! It appears that time has not helped Soigné become a better rat.
Today is a most wonderful day. it is The Day of Our Great Ruler, SINAI. Before, on other Sinaidays, you were given a lot of fun options on how to spend your Sinaiday worshiping your favorite rat, Sinai, but today, I am feeling quite minimalistic. Therefore, there is only one fun option on how to spend your Sinaiday having a load of fun worshiping the greatest female rat ever to live! As it is the only option, be sure to do it or else it will look like you don’t care about the best thing since oxygen. AND YOU WOULDN’T LIKE TO LOOK LIKE THAT, NOW WOULD YOU?
Fun Thing To Do To Show Your Love For Sinai on This Sinaiday (The Day of Our Great Ruler, SINAI)!
It’s another day in the year of 2013, but this is no ordinary day. No, it is The International Day of Sinai, which is a fabulous day everybody celebrates because they love Sinai so very, very much. Sinai is not internationally beloved for no reason. So, what should you do for the remainder of this extraordinary day? Did you click that link above? Obviously not if you’re still reading this. Well, what are you doing?! There are temples to build and anonymous gifts of gold bars to deliver!
What’s coming up in less than a week? Obviously a Sinaiday. (And a celebratory day for Negev, but you’ll hear that when it occurs.) And what Sinaiday is this? None other than the International Day of Sinai, which, as we all know, will be celebrated world wide by everyone because Sinai is an internationally beloved rat.
The International Day of Sinai (on July 9th) is a great day to show Sinai just how internationally beloved she is. I mean, she already has an idea of just how much everyone loves her by the the fact that whenever she steps out in public, huge crowds of fans gather around her to get her pawtograph, but she doesn’t know just how much she is internationally beloved. There’s no number to put on it. If you want to give her that number (1000%, naturally), then it’s quite easy. All you must do is:
What You Must Do to Show Your Love of Sinai
1.) Promise to name your first child after her. (If you already have children, get your eldest to change his or her name to Sinai.)
2.) Send her many gifts. (Good ones, mind you!)
3.) Pray to her for nine hours straight.
4.) Build a huge temple with a gigantic marble statue of her.
5.) Sacrifice at least nine fruits to her at said temple. Note: Please do not sacrifice anything that could ruin the temple by staining or anything that smells particularily horrid.
6.) Rewrite your will so that she gets at least 59% of the inheiritance.
7.) Leave an anonymous gift of nine bars of gold at her front door (in the Anonymous Gifts of Gold box, please).
8.) Sign up to be one of her privileged servants (getting this position is not guaranteed).
9.) Pray to her for another nine hours.
10.) Write and publish a delightful book about how much you passionately love your Divine Ruler of Everything.
11.) Boo or jeer at Soigné when you spot her.
12.) Dye your fur so that you look like Sinai.
13.) Adjust your weight so that you weigh the same amount that Sinai weighs (ten tons).
14.) Pray to Sinai for another session of nine hours.
15.) Send her some money. ($999 minimum donation)
16.) Purchase every product for sale by Sinai and make sure to thank her profoundly for allowing you to buy them.
17.) Draw her a beautiful picture (of her) and gift it to her with a present of some precious gems.
18.) Repeat list.
See?! How easy is that? The only rule to following the list is that it must all be done on the International Day of Sinai. Also that you must do the list (every part). And that you must do it all according to how it is written here, or you are disqualified and must start over. It is a very easy list, though, and it probably won’t take more than 28 hours of your day (not counting construction of the temple, waiting in line, et cetera.)
So what are you waiting for? Show Sinai your deep love
today on July 9th!
Ever wonder what to do on the best holiday in June to honor the rat for which it was created? If you have, a really good idea would be to paint your nails/claws a beautiful color like, say… PÜPEY!! It is an amazing color, and believe me, all of your will love it. At first, you mighg not be immediately attracted to this timeless color, but as you wear it, you will realize why this shade is such a classic. Call (123) LUV SISI now to buy up to 100 bottles of Püpey (sadly, we cannot ship more than a hundred bottles of siPawlisshe at once). Believe me, the dearest NaiNai would definitely support your decision to purchase this amazing polish.
Well it’s that time of month again. And when I say that, I mean that it’s the time of month when it’s time to get out your SinaiSüts™ and start partying because it’s time for yet another Sinaiday! Woo hoo! It seems like the last one (Sinai’s birthday) was only a month ago… which it actually was! Ha ha ha!
“But what?” you say. “What is the approaching Sinaiday that I will gladly celebrate? And when does it occur? I have not marked it down in my portable SinaiKalinder™ (preorder a twelve month 2012 one for $999.99 by calling (123) LUV SISI), so do tell. I anticipate your answer.”
“Don’t worry, stressed out readers. I, Soigné the Very Helpful and Not At All Annoying and Pesky Rodent*, will make sure you know all of the details before the end of this post. (NO THANKS TO YOU, SINAI.)”
Well just in case you were wondering (even though I am pretty sure you, without a doubt, were), the upcoming Sinaiday is Dearest NaiNai Day, and it is on June 9th, which is in five days. This means you have a solid five days to prepare for a huge party and buy a ton of new SinaiSüts™ and other products by Sinai so that your guests can feel like they are loved when you shower them with Sinai brand gifts. (Sinai recommends a lovely bottle of Pupey™ siPawlisshe™. It is a very nice color that goes with everything. If you don’t know what it looks like, click this link.) Not only that, but your support for Sinai’s many beautiful and lovely items will help her financial situation out a lot. And you know you can’t resist helping other rats out with their financial situations.
But anyways, make sure to save the date. How awful would it be if you completely missed one of the best days of the year just because you were too lazy to write down three words in your SinaiKalinder™? Really awful, right? And you don’t want to feel really awful on a day like that.
*this is a lie