Tag Archives: answer

Olivia Defines the Meaning of Life

What is the meaning of life? No one knows. Or at least, no one used to. Olivia Mewerly, who just so happens to be a cat, now says that she knows the answer to this tough question, and she is willing to share it.

So what is it? According to Olivia, the meaning of life is… catnip. When asked to elaborate, Olivia states, “I’m a cat, which means that I’ve lived way more lives than any of the humans out ther have. I’m on my seventh life now, and so far, the only thing in common between all my lives is catnip. Also that I have always been a cat. But everyone already knows that cats are the most important animals. However, the fact is that every time I have changed lives, I have kept onto my love of catnip. The other things come and go, but catnip is consistent. Also, the letters in ‘CATNIP’, or 3+1+20+14+9+16, add up to 63. 63 backwards is 36, and the square root of 36 is 6, which is the number of letters in ‘CATNIP’, which is PINTAC backwards, and pins and tacks hold everything together. Therefore, catnip is the meaning of life.”

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Pictured above: The historical moment that everybody has been waiting for since first life has come: the meaning of life has been discovered by none other than a cute cat reflecting on her past lives.

Some people (i.e. Dr. S. I. Naithegreat) have questioned Olivia’s thoughts on this question. (Dr. S. I. Naithegreat wonders if Olivia being a cat has put any bias into this answer. She personally thinks that the meaning of life has something more to do with worshipping cute, furry rats whose names start with ‘S’ and rhyme with ‘Tie Buy Fee Trait’, but that’s just her personal opinion.) However, most who have heard this sudden realization (which was not many up to now) have generally accepted it. Dr. S. Waunyay Iztoatilee-Ronnandnotsainuy, for example, has been quoted saying: “I believe Olivia. There’s absolutely no chance that she could be wrong. Not a single chance, nope.”

Olivia says that she is now spending her time figuring out the image of time and if there is really an afterlife/afterlives (for cats). Perhaps she will find an answer to yet anoth Iztoer one of life’s biggest questions in the future.

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A Quick Quiz by Sinai

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A QUICK QUIZ BY SINAI

Please carefully think each question through before choosing an answer. There will be nine multiple choice questions and one essay to answer. An answer key will be provided on Sinai’s birthday (May 9th) so you may check your answers. Comment your essay on this article for it to be graded.


Multiple Choice

Questions #1-4 are based on the above picture. You may also use your outside knowledge to determine an answer.

1.) Who is the most attractive rat in the picture?
A. Soigné
B. Sinai
C. All of the above
D. None of the above

2.) What color is the rat in the foreground’s fur?
A. White
B. Black
C. White and Black
D. Black and White

3.) What is the full title of the adorable rodent in the background?
A. Sinai The Great, Divine Ruler Of Everything
B. Sinai, Divine Ruler of Everything
C. Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything
D. Sinai the Great, Divine Buler of Everything

4.) Is this question based on the photograph?
A. Yes
B. No
C. I don’t know
D. Maybe

5.) How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
A. 40 cords
B. A woodchuck cannot chuck wood
C. A woodchuck has better things to do in life than chucking wood.
D. A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as he could if a woodchuck could chuck wood

6.) Are you going to ace this test?
A. No
B. No
C. No
D. Certainly not!

7.) What is always the answer?
A. B
B. C
C. A
D. Not violence

8.) Jsjsbajqopndbsjjunekdl?
A. Hdjeba, hznunuuui
B. Jdiiijamllpemdpeb.
C. Iplkemw akdidbdh
D. Sjuq jsh wweris

9.) What is Sinai’s lucky number?
A. 3√729
B. 4+5
C. 3^2
D. -54/-6

Essay

Please answer this question in complete sentences. Comment your final answer below.

Sinai is a very beautiful and attractive rat. She has a most beautiful and delicate multicolored tail, but she also has silky smooth black and white fur. Not only that, but the little black spot on her large and very robust tummy is very charming and eye-catching. Her large ears that classify her as a dumbo rat are to die for, although you might want to stick around to gaze upon her snout.

Please choose what you think is Sinai’s most attractive and endearing feature andwrite about it in the comments below. You may choose one of the provided examples or decide on your own. It’s up to you. Requirements for the essay are:

• Must include reasoning behind your choice
• Must compliment Sinai multiple (ten or more) times
• Must be accurate and not include phony information
• Must paint a detailed picture of Sinai in one’s head
• Must be at least 5 paragraphs long
• Must include the sentence “I like sitting naked in a sewer while eating stinky cheese.”

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