Tag Archives: brand new

The Brand New Extraordinarily New and Fun New Brand New New New Sport That is New Called CLIPH JUMPEEN™!!!! (Written by Negev)

Cliph Jumpeen™ is a very fun and brand new sport that I, King Negev, Boss of You, Ruler of the World, and Master of the Universe, recently invented. It is a bit hard to understand at first, so follow along very carefully, and you will know how to have fun doing the brand new sport called Cliph Jumpeen™!

negev-falls-off-cliff

Step Wun! Obtain fun cliff! You want a good cliff. It should drop off into a pit where you cannot see the bottom for the BEST results, okay? Now go find a cliff. A really good one, remember.

Step TOO! Ditch safety tools! Who needs safety harness, padding, health insurance? Not you, that’s for sure, O brave one.

Step thrE3! Go to fun cliff. Don’t forget to not put a mattress at the bottom or, like, wear a parachute or something. It’s really not that dangerous. Really. Me guarantee it.

Step PH0AR! Take the leap of faith! Jk, it’s not a leap of faith. You know you will not break your skull open when you land, or maybe drown if you end up in a swiftly flowing river. Why bother worrying when you know you’ll be safe.

Step Fife! Enjoy the rush as you fall through space faster than terminal velocity! You may not ever be able to go back to your old life once you permanently trap yourself in the bottom of a canyon, but who cares? This is so funnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

Note: Negev is not responsible for you injuring yourself if you actually do this.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
%d bloggers like this: