Tag Archives: #completelynatural

How To Photoshop Your Images of You So That You Think They Look Amazing and Really Make You Look Quite Nice, When In Reality, They Look Totally Fake and Are Embarrassing Your Parents – BY OLIVIA

Hello, large hairless beings! I, Olivia Mewerly, am here today to teach you how to photoshop your pictures properly– that is, how to make them look totally fake! This is a very important skill to have. With it, you can successfully produce before-and-after pictures of “dramatic transformations” without even having to use two models! You can make all of your online friends secretly laugh at you behind your back. You can even embarrass your parents when you show them the pictures and they realize that your future boss has probably already seen them on the internet. Really, making fake-looking photos is an essential skill in today’s day and age. Luckily, you will know how to do this by the time you finish reading my lovely article. So keep reading, you funny looking creatures!

This is a picture of me. It is very natural looking, which is not good at all! Follow along as I turn this horrible mess of a picture into one I can be “proud” of!

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First, I got rid of the Target bag on the left. It distracted from my beautiful face. That was an easy fix. I simply selected my brush tool, and I picked a color that somewhat resembled the color of the surrounding areas. After that, I drew over the bag, and it magically disappeared!1

Next, my eyes were not nearly green enough, which just cannot happen. It is disgraceful. Using the hue/saturation tool, I changed these dull greyish-green eyes of mine into a lovely, highly saturated (and fake-looking) green-blue color.2

Okay, so I still had a couple problems with my eyes. My pupils were not nearly black enough, and as you may have noticed, my eyelashes were not noticeable, even though I spent hours working on my mascara so that they might have had a chance to show up for once. To fix these problems, I took my brush again and, using black, colored in my pupils and drew in my eyelashes. I also kind of added a little highlight on my eyes so that they looked more shiny, which I like.3

The next problem is obvious: the wall color doesn’t complement my fur nicely enough! Using the hue/saturation tool again, I adjusted the walls so that they were blue, making my fur contrast and stick out (in a good way).4

I didn’t really like how that looked because I looked too indoorsy. I wanted to look like a nature lover, which is a really good trait apparently, so I cut myself out of that background and pasted myself in front of some flowers. (By the way, I only moved my head because the rest of me looked odd.)5

Next, I put a picture of some rat on my head so I could look like I had friends in that picture. (Actually, from what I heard, the rat who I put on my head is actually a crummy friend, but who cares? I only put her up there to look nice.) Also, I wanted this picture to look somewhat realistic, so I drew a fake shadow under the crummy rat friend by using the brush tool on a low opacity. And voila, the picture is finished. 6

I hope I helped you today by teaching you how to fake-ify your photos. None of my friends seem to appreciate my skills in this department, for some strange reason, but they’re totally missing out. Luckily, you won’t be. Now go fake-ify some pictures!

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Ianis- Proof That She Is Real and Is NOT Sinai Pretending to be Another Rat So That She Looks Popular With the Rats

Sinai and her friend, Ianis (who is totally not another picture of Sinai photoshopped into this)Sinai and her friend Ianis hanging out. As you can see, they are both in this picture, and therefore they both exist. P.S. This picture was not photoshopped or edited or anything like that, okay?

Rats seem to have a problem with accepting that Sinai is not Ianis, and that Ianis is a real rat. They all think that Ianis is just Sinai pretending to be another rat so that it looks like rats actually care about her, but that is untrue. Yes, Sinai and Ianis are both black and white with little black dots on their bellies. Yes, their names are made of the same letters, and I know that their heights and weights are exactly the same. Not only that, but Ianis’ full title, Ianis the Amazing, Supreme Monarch of All Things, sounds like a cheap rip-off of Sinai’s, which is Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything, but, okay, maybe it is it isn’t. Even though you probably are on the bandwagon and believing that Sinai=Ianis and Ianis=Sinai, that doesn’t mean that they are the same rats. They are just… really similar. Okay, yes, Ianis’ birthday is 9/5, while Sinai’s is 5/9. But that is just a coincidence! They are both unique rats, and these photos will prove that to you. None of them are edited, so you know you can trust them.

This image was not photoshopped or altered in any way, shape or form. It may seem strange, but yes, Ianis and Sinai were playing in a completely purple world with their names floating above their precious little heads. Maybe you've never seen that before. It doesn't mean it doesn't exist. With Sinai

Ianis and Sinai, obviously. They’re not so similar that you can’t tell them apart, obviously. (Hint: Ianis is the one who was not pasted into the original picture with only one cute and fuzzy rat in it. Oh wait, that’s both of them. Nevermind.) #nofilter

This photo was not edited in any way. Ianis and Sinai just happen to look very alike. With Sinai

Here are the two hanging out on the windowsill. I know that Ianis’ shadow looks like a cheap photoshop job, but that was just the light acting funny. And, okay, her edges look sharp, but she grooms her fur a lot.

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Sure, this photo doesn’t have Sinai in it, but that doesn’t mean that it can’t be Ianis. I mean, seriously. Ianis looks just like Sinai! I don’t know why that is, but, anyways, this is Ianis. I have never lied, so you can totally trust me.

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A Sinai Tale #9: Why Science Is Evil

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Science is bad because it is interrupting my holy and sacred nap time. THANKS A LOT, EVOLUTION FOR CREATING THIS CREATURE THAT CAN’T EVEN RESPECT ME AND MY BEAUTY SLEEP.

Science is evil. People make it seem all great and stuff, but really, it is terrible. Science is the reason why Sinai cannot just wish for more servant rats and see them magically appear. Science is the reason why Sinai is related to her awful sister, Soigné. Science is the reason why Sinai is related to her terrible sister, Soigné. And science is the reason Sinai is related to her disgusting sister, Soigné.

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Curse you, science. Oh wait, I can’t do that. Science doesn’t let me curse people.

But the worst of all the things that science is responsible is this thing that is so horrifying that even Soigné looks like a cute bunny in comparison.

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Oh science, how could you be so cruel? I can’t believe that you let this atrocity to happen!

Yes, science is the reason that the evil Mojoigné exists. If not for science, this vicious beast may have never been created… but alas, it has.

Mojoigné– a combination of the two worst siblings ever (Soigné and Mojave), is all thanks to a science experiment gone horribly wrong.

You see, one day, the ever so charming Sinai the Great, was feeling a bit peckish. However, her tiny pantry building (a meager 2000 square feet!), did not have the taste she was looking for. As Sinai really was craving a certain taste, she decided to combine what she did have. The very cute Sinai took some doughnuts, fried twinkies, french fries, waffle mix, sugar, whole milk, chocolate syrup, yogurt, and whipped cream, and headed for the kitchen. Halfway there, she remembered that it was being renovated (again, ugh), so she headed towards her sister’s laboratory, which had a hot plate.

When she reached the lab, her ugly sister came out to greet her. Soigné’s greedy eyes immediately saw the doughnuts, which she grabbed in a nanosecond. After grubbing around with her dirty and very unsanitary paws for a minute, she finally stole a glazed doughnut and one with sprinkles on it and handed the box to her annoying and equally gross friend, Mojave (who also happened to be the ungrateful brother of the wonderful King Negev, Boss of You, Ruler of the World, and Master of the Universe).

“Hey! Quit infecting my doughnuts, you filthy parasite!” screeched Sinai, seeing Mojave stick his greasy, dirty paws all over her doughnuts.

Mojave did not reply. He just stuffed a jelly doughnut in his fat, slobbery and needy mouth.

After wrestling with the disgustingly grimy duo, Sinai finally got the doughnuts back. She then went into the laboratory, took all the keys to it, and locked herself inside. She did not want or need the pair to suddenly burst in, grab her chocolate syrup and squirt it all over their already oily and dirty faces.

Sinai took all of her ingredients except for the donuts and shoved them into a test tube. After pondering for a while, Sinai finally decided on a powdered donut and shoved it in the test tube with her delicate and attractive paws. She did not really know how to use a hot plate, so she put the tube on it and waited for her donut to get even more golden brown.

The beautiful Sinai had been hearing scratching noises with her sensitive and acute hearing all this time, so she finally got up to check them out. After looking out a couple windows, the intelligent Sinai found the source: Soigné and Mojave had noticed that they had been locked out of the lab, and they wanted to come back in. Sinai could hear them wailing about how they never meant to take her doughnuts and were really sorry (likely story) even from inside.

Sinai was about to make a really rude gesture quite unlike her normal polite self at the two useless rats, but then she heard a loud explosion from the area that the hot plate was located in.

The lovely rat quickly rushed back to her test tube… only to discover a monster that came to be known as Mojoigné.

Mojoigné was like a nightmare come to life. It had Soigné’s ugly face, greasy black fur, and beady eyes for its head, but for its body, it had Mojave’s disgustingly flabby body with his straw-like and ungroomed fur sticking out in every direction. What was even worse, the Soigné part was completely unsaturated and GREY, while the Mojave part was a disgusting GREEN– the two rats’ favorite colors.

Sinai, despite being quite brave, was scared to her bones. “Aye yai yai,” she squeaked to herself. “Not only do I have to look at this terrifying thing, but I also did not get my food! I wonder how this thing evenhappened. I guess both Soigné and Mojave got their DNA all over my doughnut while they were rifling around the box, and the combination of different settings allowed this to happen. Well remind me to never combine those foods together ever again.”

The evil and angry Mojoigné turned to Sinai and growled, “Do you got any DOUGHNUTS?”

The trembling but courageous Sinai replied, “Try the box right next to the hot plate.”

“Me already eat them all. Now, where more?” Mojoigné angrily inquired.

“Um, there’s a doughnut shop down the road,” said Sinai (even though the doughnut shop was slightly further than that).

Luckily, Mojoigné was very dumb, like both his front and back parts. “Okay,” he grunted before crashing through a laboratory wall and effectively destroying the entire building. On the way to the doughnut shop, he stepped on both Mojave and Soigné (who were both shocked to see him).

To this day, Mojoigné roams across the country searching for doughnut shops that he can raid. So if you ever go to a donut shop and get stepped on by a giany, doughnut lusting monster, you will know whose fault it is for the creation of this terror: SCIENCE.

the end

P.S. In case anyone says anything… I never failed no test in skool! I didint fale no math, no history, no foreign lanuage, no science, no engliSh exam! So don’t believe nobody who say I do (if they say I do). **** $1N@! ****


Mojoigné isn’t real. He is just Sinai’s way of making herself feel better about failing her third grade science class years ago and also her way of making herself feel better than me. Don’t believe a word she said. ~ Soigné

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Unedited Pictures of Sinai!

All of the pictures in this post were not edited in any way. You have Sinai’s word for it, none of them were tweaked even slightly. Although some look like they have filters on them, they don’t– the lighting was just really off. Really. Sinai does not lie. All of these pictures are unedited. You may doubt it, but it is the truth.

[Links to original articles with images in them are provided]


UNEDITED PHOTOS OF SINAI!!!!

Sinai and her friend, Ianis (who is totally not another picture of Sinai photoshopped into this)This is Sinai (in the front) with her good friend, Ianis. Ianis is not Sinai pretending to be another rat, in case you were thinking that. So what if Ianis’ name backwards just so happens to spell “SINAI?” Sinai and Ianis are their own rats, and that is proven by this completely unedited picture of them hanging out. [link]

wpid-sinai-and-olivia.pngHere is Sinai with her friend, Olivia. Olivia is sitting on her paw oddly, which is why you can’t see the rest of her body. And yes, Sinai is bigger than Olivia… and tinted pink. [link] [link]

This image was not photoshopped or altered in any way, shape or form. It may seem strange, but yes, Ianis and Sinai were playing in a completely purple world with their names floating above their precious little heads. Maybe you've never seen that before. It doesn't mean it doesn't exist. With Sinai

Just Ianis and Sinai hanging out again. Ianis is the one in the front. You may have noticed that she looks an awful lot like Sinai, but that is just the way things are. Also, I would like to confirm that Ianis and Sinai were in a completely purple world, and their names were hovering above their heads. [link]

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What a cute rat! I wonder why that red blob is there… well, I know it’s definitely not because the picture was EDITED, right? As for the radiating lines, the light was funny. Don’t blame Sinai. She didn’t alter this picture at all. [link(Please ignore the name of the article which this link links to.)

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Hahaha! It’s Sinai and her friends wearing their Barney suits! Sinai is the one the purple one (whatever its name is), while Ianis is wearing the green one (whatever her name is). Lastly, Sinai’s sister (whatever her name is) is in the yellow guy’s suit (I forget what his name is). Yes, Sinai’s sister doesn’t have a white blaze on it like whatever her name is normally does, but she had her fur dyed that day. [link]

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Sinai working out at the gym. Nothing phony here. [link]

This photo was not edited in any way. Ianis and Sinai just happen to look very alike. With Sinai

Ianis (right) and Sinai (left) again. Nothing phony here, either. It’s just a coincidence that the two happened to be in the exact same position at the exact same time. [link] [link]

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A Little Notice

Sinai Vacation

Sinai having a BLAST on vacation while you are having a horribly boring time at home. This image was not edited at all.

I’m going to be gone for approximately the next fortnight, so there will be no posts for about that amount of time. (Maybe a little less, maybe a little more.) I do have a couple already scheduled, but that’s it.

~ Anna

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Sinai’s Fabulous New Manicure (It’s Totally Not Fake At All)

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Here, you can see the fabulous new and totally not fake at all manicure/pedicure (as this also happens to function as a foot). Isn’t is amazing? I know it is so perfect that it looks fake, but believe me: IT IS REAL. Sinai would never lie to you, and she says it is real, so it is real. Duh. The customer Divine Ruler of Everything is always right. There hasn’t ever been a case where she was not. Now that we have gotten that out of the way, feel free to admire Sinai’s amazing painted claws! (Note: Admiring time must be at least two hours long. There is no limit.)

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The Book of Sinai Entry #1

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I just got home from a photoshoot, and I feel horrible! Apparently my sister, Soigné, sneaked into the pictures, so now those are ruined. (She is the big white blob in the background. I didn’t notice her until it was too late to get a redo.) I can’t show them to all my many friends (like Ianis, Negev, and myself) without them asking why I, the esteemed and distinguished Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything, let my shameful, immature, and disrespectful sister get in on the action. Then, when I say that she just snook right in without me noticing and made herself at home, they’ll think of me as weak and pathetic because I let my annoying and irritating (yet usually lovable) sibling get away with the equivalent of bloody murder (a.k.a. dropping in on my photoshoot), and they will no longer desire being my friends. (They are good friends. But everyone knows you can’t be friends with someone who let their sister be part of her photoshoot. It’s just… I can’t even express how distasteful it is to allow your sister to be in a photoshoot. I think I’d rather run around public with my fur shaven off that have to live through this entire experience again.) I can’t be a powerful and beloved leader without having friends. (Which I won’t have after this.) If you don’t have friends, then you look antisocial, and being a world universal leader means you have to interact with other universal leaders (actually, to be honest, I am the only universal leader that I have met, and, I suspect, also the only one in existence), which means you have to be social. And if I don’t look social because my friends abandoned me for a totally acceptable reason, no one’s going to want me to be a universal leader anymore (which is my passion and my calling) because it will appear that I am incapable of socially interacting. If I’m not a universal leader, then the best I will be able to do with everyone knowing that I failed to be the Divine Ruler of Everything because I let my sister intefere will be a homeless rat that can’t even afford a piece of carboard to make a sign with. I don’t even know if I could manage that. I most definitely won’t be able to go into a soup kitchen without some rat shouting out that I am the shamed former Divine Ruler of Everything and causing me extreme humiliation. It will be an awful and pathetic life, all because my sister decided one day to sneak into my photoshoot! Even Soigné, the very reason why I will be demoted to such a lowly position in the social ladder, will be higher up than me, and that is just unthinkable! I tremble thinking about it! In fact, if I do become homeless, then even my astounding beauty will be diluted. I won’t be able to afford getting my fur done even once a year, so even my attractive and stylish fur will look straggly! Just think of that– my sister probably intruded into my photoshoot because she is so jealous of my beauty. You know, that’s probably it. She knows she’ll never be nearly as beautiful as me, but she knows that she can get pretty close if I end up on the streets with unevenly cut fur and dandruff. (And that’s why you should never trust your siblings.) I wouldn’t put it past her. She is pretty cunning and can think of some plans that even I would consider clever. And I am, like, a genius (to be modest). So thanks, a lot, Soigné. You ruined my entire future just because you thought it would be funny to intrude upon my photoshoot.

~ Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything ~

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