Soigné shunned Sinai when Sinai tried to help her make smart choices with her passwords, and now her bank account has been hacked! That’s what happens when you ignore good advice!
So you want to make strong passwords, ya? Well you made the right choice by coming to Sinai the Great for advice. Sinai is smarter than everyone in the world, so naturally, she is very good at making strong passwords. After you finish reading this delightful and quite helpful tutorial, you will be invincible against evil hackers! Note: None of the passwords used in this tutorial are Sinai’s. Really. They aren’t. They’re… not hers.
How To Make Really Strong Passwords That No One Will Ever Be Able To Guess!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
By Sinai, Your Friendly Divine Ruler of Everything
- You’ve got to pick a base for your password that you will remember, so why not pick the name of a rat who you admire (e.g., Sinai, Sinai, or perhaps, Sinai). After you find the perfect base, you are ready to start altering it to become very strong.
- You are off to a very good start. Since just one plain word is very easy to guess, it is time to add some numbers to the end. As you have to live with your password, it is a very good idea to put numbers that you like at the end. I suggest: 123, [your favorite number], [the year you were born], 999, 123456789, 100, [the day of the month you were born], 1, etc. (E.g. Sinai123, Sinai9, Sinai592012, Sinai2012)
- Now you should add some random symbols around your password just to confuse hackers even more. Take this weird thing I, Sinai the Great, found floating on my keyboard just yesterday: x. What a weird symbol! Soigné says that it is called “Theeletterecks”, but I have no idea what that is. Did you know that it even comes in two different sizes? Take some interesting symbols like Theeletterecks and put them in front and in back of your base (ex. XxSinaix2012X). No one will ever guess what you did!
- After this, it is time to change some of the letters in your password to numbers that look kind of like them because obviously no one who guesses your password will assume that you used anything but normal letters in your words. An example of this is: XxS1nai2012xX.
- Add some more symbols. E.g. ♥Xx$$$$S1na◘i♥2*****&(S(*♣♠XX♥♥01◘☼2x’;♥☻X@!
- Think about your password now. Will you be able to remember what it is? If you cannot, keep it, but be sure to write it down on a post-it, and make sure you put said post-it on your computer monitor. In fact, you should probably also send a copy of that post-it to your Divine Ruler of Everything just in case you lose yours. Also include your medical history, credit card number, email, phone number, and several photos of you at all angles. If you lose it, she can look up your password for you!
You could always have it sent to your email, but that’s for losers! Don’t worry, though, because Sinai would never hack into your account. Really! She wouldn’t.