Tag Archives: Divine Ruler of Everything

Ask Sinai #12

Dear Sinai,

I am having trouble wondering why I should ask you for advice. Everyone I know says you are a huge phony who thinks she is the queen of an imaginary kingdom. Could you please give me reassurance for your advice-giving abilities?

– Doubtful Reader

 

Dear Doubtful,

All of these snobs are lying! My kingdom isn’t imaginary (just ask Soigne, my all purpose servant rat). Also, I’m not the queen. I’m the Divine Ruler of Everything, which means I am all powerful and would like to know the names of these liars so I may execute them. If you’re wondering why you haven’t ever heard of my title, it’s because it’s only awarded to the most humble rats who won’t brag about it. I am a very modest rat, as you very well know, so of course I was the first choice.

– SINAI THE GREAT

Tagged , , , , ,

A Sinai Tale #14: Sinai Shops for Chocolate

Sinai was very excited. She had finally convinced (if you count blackmailing to be “convincing”) her horrid and awful and ugly and stinky sister, Soigné, to give her money, and it was time to shop for chocolates! YAY. Sinai hadn’t eaten chocolate in, like, three days. I know right, how depressing! No one, especially the Divine Ruler of Everything, should have to go three days without eating chocolate.

Sinai would have bought chocolate earlier, but the problem was that all of the chocolate shops had been sold out the day she tried to buy some. She didn’t know why; after all, it’s not like anything special happens on February 14th! Why did rats all need to buy chocolate on that specific day? Couldn’t they respect the fact that the amazing and divine and all-around wonderful Sinai the Great wanted to buy chocolate too, and that she wouldn’t be able too if they bought it all? Some rats are just so rude!

Anyhow, Sinai finally found a store that still had chocolate left. It was called “Amazon Dot Com,” and it literally sold tons of chocolate. There was just one problem: Sinai couldn’t taste or smell any of the chocolate she wanted to buy. Oh well, she would just have to buy all of the chocolate! If Sinai didn’t like some, she could just fatten Soigné up with it and save on the heating bill. Thankfully, for some odd reason, all of the chocolate was priced very cheaply. Sinai did not know why, but she didn’t question anything.

The beautiful and all powerful rat sat down at her desk and turned on her computer. Soigné had told Sinai that she would be able to find Amazon Dot Com by opening “Internet X Floorer,” whatever that is, and then typing “Amazon Dot Com” in the URL bar (??????). Sinai tried to find Internet X Floorer, but she could only find a giant “e” that said “Internet Explorer” underneath it.

“Help me, Soigné!” screeched Sinai. “HELP!!!! AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!”

Soigné, who thought Sinai was going into cardiac arrest, ran into the office. She saw Sinai flailing around the computer and realized what was really going on. “Sinai, click the giant ‘e.’ You can get into Internet Explorer that way.”

“HUh?” asked Sinai. She scratched her lovely black-furred head. “What you talking about?!”

“Um, click the giant ‘e.'” stated Soigné again.

“What, this?” inquired Sinai, with her cursor hovering over the Internet Explorer shortcut. “You told me to open Internet X Floorer, not Internet Explorer.”

“Yes that! Click it,” replied Soigné. “And I said ‘Internet Explorer.'”

“Why? You wrong, too, you very wrong.” squeaked Sinai.

Soigné sighed and explained, “Because I said so, and I’m not wrong. You just have bad hearing.”

“But why? And me no have bad hearing! Me perfect. Me behead you for disrespecting me.”

“Because… and that’s not legal.” (Soigné sometimes wondered if her sister completely posessed sanity.)

“OKAY WOMAN I ASKING WHY, AND WHO CARES IF IT LEGAL, I AM THE GOVERNMENT.”

“Because!! And you know what, if you don’t know how to access the Internet, I don’t think I will help you buy chocolates.”

“Okay,” said Sinai before opening Google Chrome. “Go away, then. I don’t really like you, anyways.”

Sinai shooed Soigné out of the room, and went to Amazon Dot Com. She looked up “chocolates” and found a lot of nice candies which she proceeded to add to her cart. The end.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Ask Sinai #11: Sinai’s Fan Mail!!!

As you may know, Sinai is an internationally beloved rat. Being so internationally beloved, Sinai naturally receives much fan mail. Reading so much fan mail can get quite tiring. (Sometimes, Sinai has to stay up until six to read her fan mail… and she wakes up at 6:30!)

However, there are some fan letters that wake Sinai up when she reads them. Of the millions of letters she has received, these are the ones she has remembered… and here they are!

P.S. These are genuine. The rats who wrote these letters are real, not, oh, you know, fake ones that Sinai has made up.


Dear Sinai

I love you very much! You are my most favorite rat! I love you so very much! I send to you lots of kisses and hugs and love in general. I love you very much! You are a wonderful rat. You are so great! I love you! Your ugly sister is not deserving of you! I love you!

Love,
Siney Sisi XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

P.S. I love you


Hi Sinai!

You are the best! I feel so lucky to have you as my divine ruler of everything. You are a wonderful rat. I named my children after you so that they can have a positive role model in life. I even got my husband to change his name to Sinaio because it is such a lovely name, especially compared to his old one (Swanyayo). I tried to change my name to Sinaia, but my mother won’t let me. Won’t you please write my mother and try to convince her to let me change my name?

Your #1 Fan,

Sinaiaa Dagreatus


Dearest Sinai,

I wrote a poem for you, that is how much I love you.

There once was a rat named Sinai
She was wonderful and perfect and great-ai
I love her
Everyone loves her
She is the bestest rat ever-ai!!!!!

Love from,

Lalalalalailovesinailalalalala Dadadadadadadireallyloveherdadadada


Hello Sinai,

It is I, your horrid and unworthy sister. Yes, I know you do not like me. Believe me, I understand you for feeling that way. I just want to say that I apologise for being such an awful sibling and a disappointment to the family name. I would really like to say I’m sorry for that time last week I breathed in your presence. It was disrespectful of me to do so. I have been practicing feeling emotions so that I will not do that again. I am not very good at feeling, though, so I hope that you will accept my efforts. Also, I have sent you one million gold bars, ten billion bags of yogies, three small continents, $5,000,000,000 in cash, and a giftcard to the local bakery to try and make up for all the times I have been a bad sister.

Yours,

Siognè, yoor sister

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

This Is Sinai In Her Halloween Costume

Sinai has a multi-functional costume. It is many things in one. Here are all of them.

WHAT SINAI’S COSTUME IS

Sinai 103

Sinai in her costume. Do not mind the ugly thing in the lower left corner.

  1. The Divine Ruler of Everything
  2. Teenage punk who is too lazy to make a legit costume but still wants free candy
  3. Person trying to break the system
  4. Rat disguised as a small child disguised as a rat
  5. Sinai
  6. Cute large mouse (?)
  7. Not Soigné
  8. Black and white rodent
  9. Sweet little child worthy of candy
  10. Person who is effectively taking your week’s paycheck in candy
  11. Chubby rodent
  12. Minimalist
  13. Nudist
  14. Trick or treater
  15. Rat who likes candy
  16. Not a dentist
  17. Not a nutritionalist
  18. Not your doctor
  19. Not your weight loss group leader
  20. A stranger
  21. The reason why you have a ton of moths in your house now
Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

A Sinai Tale #12: 299 WORD AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF SINAI

100tagsinai

In celebration of this being the 100th post tagged “Sinai,” Sinai has written a short 299 word autobiography so that you can know more about her. #sinai


Me was born on top of cloud which floated down to earth. Me was an adorable baby. Me was black and white with little black spot. However sadly, when me floated down to earth, me ugly sister known as Swanyay suddenly appeared on me cloud. She say, “Sinai, because you be such a darling angle* of a child, you must have me as you sister! It is the only way.” I try to push her off of cloud so she don’t bug me no more, but suddenly me mommy appear and tell me, with tears in her eyes, that it was decreed at me birth that me should have pain-in-the-tail sister to bring me down to earth. Ya, like I need that– me has giant floaty cloud! Anyhow, me accept that ugly Swanyay be my sister and no way to get rid of her. : ( Ya so after that, me reach earth with me ugly sister. Me arrived at huge golden palace, which was obviously meant to be owned by me. Me move in and me was even kind enough to give Swanyay her own room, which was in the room with the horses. Anyhow, week after me arrive, old cranky man come to palace and start yelling me for “trespassing”, wutever that is. Well, me arrested him, and he is still serving his time for insulting the divine ruler of the world. After me got over that incident, me continued to grow and blossom in my shiny castle. The only problems I had was when Swanyay didn’t clean my room, which happened very often actually. But then I threatened to arrest her, and now she always be cleaning me room on time. I continue to be good and kind, and now me is Divine ruler of Everything.

the End!

*Note: Me really was an angle when me was a baby. Me was an acute angle.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

How To Make The World’s Strongest Passwords For All of Your Online Accounts As Written By Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything, Who Is a Complete Genius When It Comes To Making Up Strong and Unhackable Passwords

041

Soigné shunned Sinai when Sinai tried to help her make smart choices with her passwords, and now her bank account has been hacked! That’s what happens when you ignore good advice!

So you want to make strong passwords, ya? Well you made the right choice by coming to Sinai the Great for advice. Sinai is smarter than everyone in the world, so naturally, she is very good at making strong passwords. After you finish reading this delightful and quite helpful tutorial, you will be invincible against evil hackers! Note: None of the passwords used in this tutorial are Sinai’s. Really. They aren’t. They’re… not hers.


How To Make Really Strong Passwords That No One Will Ever Be Able To Guess!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By Sinai, Your Friendly Divine Ruler of Everything

  1. You’ve got to pick a base for your password that you will remember, so why not pick the name of a rat who you admire (e.g., Sinai, Sinai, or perhaps, Sinai). After you find the perfect base, you are ready to start altering it to become very strong.
  2. You are off to a very good start. Since just one plain word is very easy to guess, it is time to add some numbers to the end. As you have to live with your password, it is a very good idea to put numbers that you like at the end. I suggest: 123, [your favorite number], [the year you were born], 999, 123456789, 100, [the day of the month you were born], 1, etc. (E.g. Sinai123, Sinai9, Sinai592012, Sinai2012)
  3. Now you should add some random symbols around your password just to confuse hackers even more. Take this weird thing I, Sinai the Great, found floating on my keyboard just yesterday: x. What a weird symbol! Soigné says that it is called “Theeletterecks”, but I have no idea what that is. Did you know that it even comes in two different sizes? Take some interesting symbols like Theeletterecks and put them in front and in back of your base (ex. XxSinaix2012X). No one will ever guess what you did!
  4. After this, it is time to change some of the letters in your password to numbers that look kind of like them because obviously no one who guesses your password will assume that you used anything but normal letters in your words. An example of this is: XxS1nai2012xX.
  5. Add some more symbols. E.g. ♥Xx$$$$S1na◘i♥2*****&(S(*♣♠XX♥♥01◘☼2x’;♥☻X@!
  6. Think about your password now. Will you be able to remember what it is? If you cannot, keep it, but be sure to write it down on a post-it, and make sure you put said post-it on your computer monitor. In fact, you should probably also send a copy of that post-it to your Divine Ruler of Everything just in case you lose yours. Also include your medical history, credit card number, email, phone number, and several photos of you at all angles. If you lose it, she can look up your password for you! You could always have it sent to your email, but that’s for losers! Don’t worry, though, because Sinai would never hack into your account. Really! She wouldn’t.
Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

C

This is a very special post. And not just because the title is only one seemingly random character long. (Believe me, that ‘C’ is not random at all.) But what’s the big deal about having a single character as a title? Musicians do this all the time with their albums. (+, 4, etc.) It is, in fact, special for an entirely other reason. Although, it could be argued that having the shortest post title on this website so far does make it rather significant.

Olivia 047

Pray do tell, how is this post special or out of the ordinary? I am very interested in learning the answer to this perplexing question.

However, having the third letter of the alphabet as a title is not very… out of the ordinary. It’s something that could happen again. It could even become normal to have all posts on this website be called ‘C’, or perhaps to spice it up sometimes, ‘The Letter Before D and After B.’ However, the thing that makes this post so special is something that will never happen again ever on sinaithegreat.wordpress.com. NEVER. I’m not lying. You can only have a one hundredth post once.

100

Pictured above: The number which this post is. If you cannot read Arabic numerals, it is one hundred.

Yes, that’s right, this is the one hundredth post! One hundred is a big number because that is 1/200 of Sinai’s weight (10 tons, in case you don’t feel like doing math). Actually, that is a very small number. Never mind.

Despite being a rather small number, one hundred is still significant, if only for the fact that it is a perfect square. Also, that upside down, it is the number 1, which looks like a capital ‘I’, which appears twice in Sinai’s name (when it is capitalized). It is the first number with three digits, too. And, again, it is 1/200 of Sinai’s weight, which is cool, because anything associated with Sinai is automatically cool (except for Soigné). She’s like a coolness magnet. In fact, she might have swallowed one of those when she was just a little baby who could fit in the palm of your hand. Sinai has always had a vague memory of swallowing something metal when she was a tiny ratling.

Sinai and her "dreamy" eyes that look actually kind of creepy.

I love Sinai. She makes everything (except for her sister) automatically hot and trending. Like look at this picture. If this was any other rat, you would probably be grossed out at the sleepy looking rodent and the bad case of bedhead. However, as this is Sinai, it looks great. (I can’t say so for the rat in the front, though.)

As this is the one hundredth post, it feels like something special should be done? But what? I’ve already shown you an exclusive picture of Sinai sleeping. I’ve already mentioned Sinai’s name, which has a very soothing sound to it, multiple times. I’ve already had the common courtesy to even post a post today. Sinai hasn’t given me permission to post another picture of her, so I guess what I will have to do is post a FUN and EXCLUSIVE poll! How delightful, and positively exciting! You can find the poll below. Have fun, and enjoy your gift from me (and also partially Sinai)!

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Ask Sinai #9

Dear Sinai,
You are an okay rat. I mean, you are a nice rat, but you are pretty average. I am also a very average rat. I am not exceptionally smart, funny, or talented. I was wondering how you somehow managed to become a very successful rat despite your averageness. I do not think I am destined to be big and famous like you, but I do want to live a successful life. Can you give me tips?

– Plain Old Ordinary Priscilla Bucket

Dear P.O.O.P Bucket,
Let me establish one fact before I continue: I AM NOT AN AVERAGE RAT. I am an extraordinarly witty, cute, funny, funny, smart, funny, kind, funny, adorable, attractive, funny, beautiful, exceptional, stellar, outstanding, kind, cute, hilarious, funny, funny, soigné, remarkable, poetic, funny, intelligent, kind, funny, divine, funny, graceful, gracious, funny, lovable, funny, wonderful, magical, wonderful, funny, attractive, charming, delightful, kind, funny, delightful, humble, and non-repetitive rat. I am in no way average. I don’t know what would ever make you think that that awful word could ever describe the Divine Ruler of Everything. Obviously, you are mentally diseased. I recommend you find a qualified doctor to help you find a cure (if any) to your mental illness. I believe Dr. S. I. Naithegreat, my dearest doctor friend, would be very good at helping you. She can be contacted by calling (123) LUV SISI. Now, onto your question. As you are mentally ill, I do not believe you would be able to understand any answers if I wrote them, so therefore I will not bother. Besides, insulting the most important rat alive pretty much ruins any chances you have of a successful life. I have friends in higher places than you (but lower than me).

– Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
%d bloggers like this: