Tag Archives: felines

Hodge Podge

Note: Sorry about not posting. Last week was production week for the play I was in, so I didn’t have time to update the website. : ( I will try to be more consistent now.


Recently, Olivia discovered something extraordinarily amazing and life changing: she is not the only cat in the world!

Up until that moment, Olivia had thought herself the last of her species. But that is apparently not so, as two very large grey tabby kittens walked into her life only yesterday.

At first, Olivia was confused. How can it be that I am not the only pointy-eared, pointy-toothed, furry-tailed, purring being in this world? she asked herself. Also, why are my look-a-likes printed in black and white and not in full colour?

But then the very large grey tabby kittens introduced themselves, and Olivia understood: she was not the only cat, she had just been stolen away from the other cats when she was a young kitten! Either that, or she had simply forgotten all the other cats she had once known. Probably the latter.

And now let us meet Olivia’s newest cat acquaintances…

060

Hodge is half of the pair of very large grey tabby kittens that Olivia met yesterday. He likes to purr loudly twenty-three hours of the day and sits on his tail the other hour. During his free-time, he sings soprano for his local community cat singers group. His favorite toy is anything that dangles from the air, including his brother’s tail.

074

Podge is the other half of the pair of very large grey tabby kittens. He likes sitting underneath beds and ambush unsuspecting passerby and using pieces of kitty litter as toys. Sometimes he even checks himself out in the mirror, that is how attractive he thinks he is!

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“Thee Goormay Fude Sawn/The Gourmet Food Song” by Sinai

This song was left with the original spelling by Sinai unchanged. If you find it difficult to read, just remember that government doesn’t put nearly enough money into teaching rats how to spell. Oh, and that a translated version of the song can be found towards the bottom of this post. It is to be sung in a loud, screeching, and very unmelodious voice. It does not matter what rhythms you put to the words; anything will sound very “soothing and melodious”, at least according to Sinai. When sung, this tune should somewhat resemble the yowls of a cat being run over by a train.

This cat is licking her paw like there is no tomorrow.

If you are unsure as to what a cat being run over by a train sounds like, please do not actually run over one just to find out


Thee Goormay Fude Sawn/The Gourmet Food Song (Original)

I liek goormay fude
Ya I liek goormay fude
It be soh taystie yum yum taystie it be
Goormay fude uh huh
I liek goormay fude

Wut iz be bettr then goormay FUDE? nuth een thatts wut. I luv goormay fude mm mm taystilishus
Goormay fude, yoo be mai luv
Goormay fude, i luv yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Yoo ar wut i dreem uv wen I fawl uhsleap

O goormay fude
Hau I Endgoy Yoo Soh Mustch!!!!!!!
i wan moar goormay fude , yett
No wun baize yoo phore meeeeeeeeeeeeee
aw BOO HOO HOO
I sae, alas, phore i luv yoo oh soH mustch

Deerissed goormay fude, yoo kumm in men-E phoarmz, liek: yogert, yogert, frozin yogert, yogert, dride yogert, yogert, fr00t-awn-thee-bottIm yogert, yogert, fr00tie yogert, vejjy tib ul yogert, darey produks, yogert, yogert, yogert frum Greasy, yogert, yogert, yogert, yogert, yogert-awn-the-bottIm yogert, chunkee yogert, likwidy yogert, yogert, yogert, yogert-cuvred razenz, yogert-cuvred seeri-ill, yogert, yogert, yogert, yogert, yogert, yogert, also yogert, and yogert.
i reely liek yogert
alsoh candee
yum canddee
i liek to eet yogert, an yogert. alsoH yogert!!!!
yo be delishus goormay fude , yes , yo be!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 yogert

o goormay fude
i luv yoo but it seemz i nevir c yoo
sutsch be hau it iz
i still luv yoo
pee ess i am a grate seen er an sawn riter

Thee Goormay Fude Sawn/The Gourmet Food Song (Translated)

Yeah, I like gourmet food.
It be so tasty, yum, yum, tasty it be.
Gourmet food, uh huh
I like gourmet food.

What is better than gourmet FOOD? Nothing, that’s what. I love gourmet food, mm, mm, tastilicious.
Gourmet food, you be my love.
Gourmet food, I love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.
You are what I dream of when I fall asleep.
Oh gourmet food,
How I enjoy you so much!!!!!!
I want more gourmet food, yet
No one buys you for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Aw BOO HOO HOO
I say, alas, for I love you oh so much

Dearest gourmet food, you come in many forms, like: yogurt, yogurt, frozen yogurt, yogurt, dried yogurt, yogurt, fruit-on-the-bottom yogurt, yogurt, fruity yogurt, vegetable yogurt, dairy products, yogurt, yogurt, yogurt from Greece, yogurt, yogurt, yogurt, yogurt, yogurt-on-the-bottom yogurt, chunky yogurt, liquidy yogurt, yogurt, yogurt, yogurt, yogurt, yogurt-covered raisins, yogurt-covered cereal, yogurt, yogurt, yogurt, yogurt, yogurt, yogurt, also yogurt, and yogurt.
I really like yogurt.
Also candy.
Yum, candy.
I like to eat yogurt, and yogurt. Also yogurt!!!!
You be delicious, gourmet food, yes, you be!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yogurt

Oh gourmet food,
I love you, but it seems I never see you
Such be how it is.
I still love you.
P.S. I am a great singer and songwriter.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

What Olivia Thinks of You

image
What could she be thinking?!

Ever wonder what goes on in a cat’s brain? What do cats think about you? Well luckily for you, Olivia, one of Sinai’s (feline) friends, has decided to reveal the answer to this huge secret. If you are very sensitive and easily offended, it is recommended that you do not read this or ever attempt to communicate with a feline, as you will probably walk away from either of these experiences very butthurt.


Hi, I am Olivia. I am going to tell you what I think about you. If you want the simple answer, I think you are useless except for providing thumbs and food when I need them. If you want the complex answer, I think you are mean for not allowing me unrestricted access to said thumbs and food. Also, you are creepy for looking at that picture of me. Stop staring, you creep. Finally, I think you are ugly for not having luscious fur like I do. All you have is a bald face and also no tail. Very unattractive

Olivia the Cat (from an interview with an unamed human curious about cats’ thoughts)

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,
%d bloggers like this: