Tag Archives: food

This Is Sinai In Her Halloween Costume

Sinai has a multi-functional costume. It is many things in one. Here are all of them.

WHAT SINAI’S COSTUME IS

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Sinai in her costume. Do not mind the ugly thing in the lower left corner.

  1. The Divine Ruler of Everything
  2. Teenage punk who is too lazy to make a legit costume but still wants free candy
  3. Person trying to break the system
  4. Rat disguised as a small child disguised as a rat
  5. Sinai
  6. Cute large mouse (?)
  7. Not Soigné
  8. Black and white rodent
  9. Sweet little child worthy of candy
  10. Person who is effectively taking your week’s paycheck in candy
  11. Chubby rodent
  12. Minimalist
  13. Nudist
  14. Trick or treater
  15. Rat who likes candy
  16. Not a dentist
  17. Not a nutritionalist
  18. Not your doctor
  19. Not your weight loss group leader
  20. A stranger
  21. The reason why you have a ton of moths in your house now
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Pre-Monthly Sï Half Day

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Have a happy Pre-Monthly Sï Half Day. Please enjoy it, but please don’t make any stupid choices (i.e. deciding that you actually like Soigné, choosing not to send Sinai a lovely gift of food and money). If you make stupid choices, you will be banished from the universe so that this lovely world can be kept clean of your disgusting type. Thank you, and have a sinailicious, good-choice-making day. (If you do not have a sinailicious day, we will regretably have to banish you as well.)

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Pre-Monthly Sï Half Day in TWO DAYS!

Pre-Monthly Sï Half Day

As you may or may not know, there  is a Sinaiday in two days! (You actually better know this, because if you don’t, you will be executed by the state for not respecting Sinai.) It is the all-amazing Pre-Monthly Sï Half Day. In preparation for this lovely day, Sinai has created a fun poll for you to answer. You better answer good because if you don’t, you will be executed by the state hugged…by Soigné, which is not good! (In fact, it is worse than being execute by the state. And by the way, that is still legal in Sinailand. So it actually could happen. But luckily, it won’t, since you are a Sinai-loving obedient citizen, am I right?)

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Stuff You Never Knew You Could Eat (And That Would Taste Good)!

Hi! Me name is Sinai! Me gonna tell you all about all this tastilicious stuff you never knew what you could eat! Yup. From this article, which I made my sister, Swanyay, type (because me has much better things to do with my time than type stuff, you know #yoso #youonlysinaionce) you will learn so much about tasty stuff that you can eat. Now, me is unsure about what nutrition all this stuff has, and also, me not exactly sure if all of this stuff isn’t poisonous, you know. (I kinda made me sister eat much of what I write about here, so me is unsure about side effects, okay?) Anyhow, you want to read this article. Okay go on.


WOOD

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Oh ya, wood is soooo good. It taste just like paper, only kind of less pulpy, if you know what me is talking about. Okey dokey, if you don’t understand, me will now explain to you: wood is made from paper! Isn’t that such an interesting fact? See, what them wood-makers do is that they take a lot of paper, put it all in a giant cauldron full of V8 (that is why trees, which are also made of paper, have leaves), and chant magic spells every day at 6 pm for a week. After that, the paper magically changes into wood.

CLAW POLISH

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Yeah, so me didn’t really eat this. I kinda forced my ugly and otherwise useless sister to eat this kindly gave my dear sister the option to eat the claw polish, which she took. Anyhow, she say, “Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm… this has… an interesting taste,” which obviously means that it tastes so delishy! Also, as a bonus, it turned her tongue hot pink for a week!

MONEY

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This tasted very good and papery, but me wouldn’t recommend eating it unless you can eat someone else’s money.

CROTCH HAIR

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Just kidding! Don’t eat this, small subordinate citizens.

FLOWERS

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So one day me got a tiny bit hungry after my lazy sister, Swanyay, was late getting me my food. I naturally did not want to starve, because, you know, that is a horrible fate! What I did to not have to face this tragic fate which I would never wish upon meself was I went to the window box and picked a couple flowers. Me not sure exactly what flowers I ate, but they was very good (except for the red one with the nasty prickly things on its long green petal). Later, I even fed Swanyay this weird thing I found in the window box, and I am pretty sure she very much enjoyed it because right after she ate it, she rushed to the bathroom, where she naturally wanted to watch herself chew the funny looking flower. In case you wondering, it was this stubby thing with beige long petal and for the top, it was red with white polka dotties.

NATIO??? GEO??????????

AKA: SOME MAGAZINE WITH A YELLOW BORDER THINGY

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Mojave is pictured here eating his din-din, which is some weird magazine called “Natio Geo.” Actually, I am sure there are more letters in the name, but me can’t tell because stupid Mojave is covering them up. THANKS A LOT, MOJAVE.

FRUITS AND VEGETABLES

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Yeah, can you believe this? You can actually eat those weird things. Or at least my ugly sister, Soigné can. She says they taste good (me not sure if you can trust her, though). Also, they apparently are very healthy for you and can cause you to not be very robust like me, which, if me is thinking correctly, IS TERRIBLE! So actually, don’t eat fruits and vegetables. They make you skinny.

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Sinai Helps You With the Most Challenging Task That You Will Ever Find Yourself Doing: HOW TO EAT FOOD, AN EASY GUIDE TO SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETING CHALLENGING TASKS BY SINAI BLIGHT

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Thanks to Sinai, Soigné now knows how to eat, which is quite helpful, as she would not want to starve to death, now would she?!

HOW TO EAT: AS WRITTEN BY SINAI THE GREAT

 

Step 1: Acquire food, preferably candy or something that actually tastes good.

Step 2: Hold said food

Step 2b: (Optional) Throw away food if it looks too healthy. Then get another piece of food that is nutritionally dry.

Step 3: (This is a very challenging step!) Take control of your mouth and open it.

Step 4: (This is harder than the previous step!) Insert your food into your mouth cavity. You can use your paws, or you can levitate it in.

Step 5: (This is the hardest step yet!) Bite down– that is, close your mouth– on your food.

Step 6: (Don’t feel too bad if you cannot do this at first. This is quite the challenging task.) Repeat STEP 5 with the food still in your mouth.

Step 7: While doing the extremely challenging STEP 6, swallow the food that you bite into. You have to move your muscles that the food will go down your throat. You will also swallow this slimy stuff. It is called “SAH LIGH VUH”, or something along that spelling. I have heard people also call it “SPITTE.” Don’t worry, this is completely natural.

Step 8: Lick your lips to emphasize the fact that you just ate some food.

 

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What Olivia Thinks of You

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What could she be thinking?!

Ever wonder what goes on in a cat’s brain? What do cats think about you? Well luckily for you, Olivia, one of Sinai’s (feline) friends, has decided to reveal the answer to this huge secret. If you are very sensitive and easily offended, it is recommended that you do not read this or ever attempt to communicate with a feline, as you will probably walk away from either of these experiences very butthurt.


Hi, I am Olivia. I am going to tell you what I think about you. If you want the simple answer, I think you are useless except for providing thumbs and food when I need them. If you want the complex answer, I think you are mean for not allowing me unrestricted access to said thumbs and food. Also, you are creepy for looking at that picture of me. Stop staring, you creep. Finally, I think you are ugly for not having luscious fur like I do. All you have is a bald face and also no tail. Very unattractive

Olivia the Cat (from an interview with an unamed human curious about cats’ thoughts)

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