Tag Archives: funny

Hodge’s Frozen Yogurt Bar

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Two very hungry looking cats who obviously need some tasty FROZEN YOGURT

 As everyone knows, Hodge is amazing at creating frozen yogurt that tastes delicious. At least three cats beg Hodgie-boy each day for his tasty and totally nutritious frozen yogurt, so he figured, why not make a frozen yogurt bar (where he can at least get a profit). After about two months of convincing the town to hand over property to a cat, Hodge finally opened Hodge’s Outstanding Delicious Great-frozen-yogurt Eating-place (or HODGE for short) this Sunday.

Hodge offers many amazing flavours at his frozen yogurt bar, including, but not restricted to: Fur, Yummy Tuna, Podge-Flavour, Snot, Whisker Clippings, Friskies® Savory Shreds, Meow Mix® Tender Centers, and the Daily Special. His Podge-Flavour is apparently very accurate to Podge’s actual “taste” and has received rave reviews such as this one by a not suspicious cat, Hodgetta Hodgerson: “5 STARS I LUV IT OMG IT TASTES SO MUCH LIKE PODGE SO GOOD PLS KEEP ON SELLING IT HODGE P.S. U ARE MY HERO!1!!!1! <3” (on doubtfuloriginsreviews.com)

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How Hodge perfected the Podge flavour

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Who Loves Cat Carriers? Hodge Does.

hodge in cat carrier

The perfect way to spend a lovely afternoon.

Hodge has been told before that cat carriers are the making of the Bad Dog Deep in the Ground, but he can’t seem to understand why. He has one himself, and he has found that he rather likes it. Not only is it lined with a towel (in a shade of green that nicely complements his eyes), it also has floor-to-ceiling windows and a skylight! Plus, it is just the right size so that he can sit in it, but Podge can’t. (Which is nice, as Podge does not smell very good.)

hodge plays in cat carrier

WHAT IS THIS LONG FURRY THING WAVING IN THE AIR? I MUST PLAY WITH IT… WHILE REMAINING INSIDE OF MY CAT CARRIER!

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#SELFIETIME

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HELLO WORLD. It is I, Podge Whinene-Katt. I am so attractive. Look at me rolling on the floor. Yeah, I know the picture quality isn’t that good, but who cares when it’s of an attractive cat like me?

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What is this strange box thing with the funny light that flashes in my face? Hello?

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Sinai’s New Years Resolutions!

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Me know that me is already the most wonderful rat to ever live, but how can me become even better?

Sinai is 99% the perfect rat. She’s attractive, nice, witty, cute, generous, loving, lovable, funny, humorous, intelligent, smart, pretty, kind, likeable, friendly, jiggly, chumpy, chubalicious, splendid, delicious, scrumptious, beautiful, good, great, selfless, wonderful, trustworthy, respectful, fantastic, chubby, interesting, fascinating, sinailicious, choopy, fabulous, fantabulous, incredible, a genius, brave, remarkable, lovely, knowledgeable, well-organized, creative, responsible, internationally beloved, peaceful, hard-working, fat,  confident, honest, and humble. However, she is still not perfect! Sinai thinks that with her resolutions for 2014, she will become 100% perfect.

Sinai’s Resolutions

  1. Me need money. Me make a lot of money (as in a couple trillion dollars) next year! It no matter how the money comes into my possession.
  2. Me should be more rude to Soigné so that she become more obedient and responding to my commands.
  3. Me really no like going to gym. Me will call up a demolition team and get them to demolish the gym! Then me no have to go!
  4. Me will convince all of the doubters that me really is a very humble rat! Me no know why they no believe me!
  5. Me will spray my nasty sister, Soigné, with lots of perfume so that she stops smelling like nasty latex.*
  6. Me not a very happy rat. Me will secretly record videos of Soigné doing embarrassing things and watch these videos in my free time to make me laugh.
  7. Me has wasted a lot of my time this year, so me will wake up one minute earlier than my normal time next year. Then me have lower wasted time to productive time ratio!
  8. Me gained twenty pounds this year . . . that is not enough! Me will gain fifty pounds in 2014!
  9. Yup, otherwise, me pretty much flawless.

* this is a true fact, Soigné actually does smell like latex.

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