Tag Archives: great

Sinai’s New Years Resolutions!

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Me know that me is already the most wonderful rat to ever live, but how can me become even better?

Sinai is 99% the perfect rat. She’s attractive, nice, witty, cute, generous, loving, lovable, funny, humorous, intelligent, smart, pretty, kind, likeable, friendly, jiggly, chumpy, chubalicious, splendid, delicious, scrumptious, beautiful, good, great, selfless, wonderful, trustworthy, respectful, fantastic, chubby, interesting, fascinating, sinailicious, choopy, fabulous, fantabulous, incredible, a genius, brave, remarkable, lovely, knowledgeable, well-organized, creative, responsible, internationally beloved, peaceful, hard-working, fat,  confident, honest, and humble. However, she is still not perfect! Sinai thinks that with her resolutions for 2014, she will become 100% perfect.

Sinai’s Resolutions

  1. Me need money. Me make a lot of money (as in a couple trillion dollars) next year! It no matter how the money comes into my possession.
  2. Me should be more rude to Soigné so that she become more obedient and responding to my commands.
  3. Me really no like going to gym. Me will call up a demolition team and get them to demolish the gym! Then me no have to go!
  4. Me will convince all of the doubters that me really is a very humble rat! Me no know why they no believe me!
  5. Me will spray my nasty sister, Soigné, with lots of perfume so that she stops smelling like nasty latex.*
  6. Me not a very happy rat. Me will secretly record videos of Soigné doing embarrassing things and watch these videos in my free time to make me laugh.
  7. Me has wasted a lot of my time this year, so me will wake up one minute earlier than my normal time next year. Then me have lower wasted time to productive time ratio!
  8. Me gained twenty pounds this year . . . that is not enough! Me will gain fifty pounds in 2014!
  9. Yup, otherwise, me pretty much flawless.

* this is a true fact, Soigné actually does smell like latex.

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A Beautiful Haiku About Sinai

Sinai is pretty
She is so pretty, attractive, interesting, nice, kindly, funny, sweet, likeable, loveable, adorable, chumpy, delightful, sinailicious, good, great, wonderful, admirable, internationally-beloved, cute, fuzzy, fluffy, delicious, chucka-y, skilled, talented, smart, witty, intelligent, knowledgable, exciting, and friendly.
That five syllables

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Ask Sinai #11: Sinai’s Fan Mail!!!

As you may know, Sinai is an internationally beloved rat. Being so internationally beloved, Sinai naturally receives much fan mail. Reading so much fan mail can get quite tiring. (Sometimes, Sinai has to stay up until six to read her fan mail… and she wakes up at 6:30!)

However, there are some fan letters that wake Sinai up when she reads them. Of the millions of letters she has received, these are the ones she has remembered… and here they are!

P.S. These are genuine. The rats who wrote these letters are real, not, oh, you know, fake ones that Sinai has made up.


Dear Sinai

I love you very much! You are my most favorite rat! I love you so very much! I send to you lots of kisses and hugs and love in general. I love you very much! You are a wonderful rat. You are so great! I love you! Your ugly sister is not deserving of you! I love you!

Love,
Siney Sisi XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

P.S. I love you


Hi Sinai!

You are the best! I feel so lucky to have you as my divine ruler of everything. You are a wonderful rat. I named my children after you so that they can have a positive role model in life. I even got my husband to change his name to Sinaio because it is such a lovely name, especially compared to his old one (Swanyayo). I tried to change my name to Sinaia, but my mother won’t let me. Won’t you please write my mother and try to convince her to let me change my name?

Your #1 Fan,

Sinaiaa Dagreatus


Dearest Sinai,

I wrote a poem for you, that is how much I love you.

There once was a rat named Sinai
She was wonderful and perfect and great-ai
I love her
Everyone loves her
She is the bestest rat ever-ai!!!!!

Love from,

Lalalalalailovesinailalalalala Dadadadadadadireallyloveherdadadada


Hello Sinai,

It is I, your horrid and unworthy sister. Yes, I know you do not like me. Believe me, I understand you for feeling that way. I just want to say that I apologise for being such an awful sibling and a disappointment to the family name. I would really like to say I’m sorry for that time last week I breathed in your presence. It was disrespectful of me to do so. I have been practicing feeling emotions so that I will not do that again. I am not very good at feeling, though, so I hope that you will accept my efforts. Also, I have sent you one million gold bars, ten billion bags of yogies, three small continents, $5,000,000,000 in cash, and a giftcard to the local bakery to try and make up for all the times I have been a bad sister.

Yours,

Siognè, yoor sister

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Is Sinai Humble?

As you all know, Sinai is a (self described) very beautiful, funny, cute, attractive, lovely, likable, charming, witty, smart, nice, great, cute, wonderful, brilliant, remarkable, fine-looking, cute, incredible, stunning, hilarious, chumpy, sinailicious, loving, kind, soft, lovable, beautiful, attractive, excellent, stellar, super, terrific, unique, outstanding, extraordinary, internationally-beloved, pretty, gorgeous, intelligent, cute, cute, beautiful, charming, delightful, cute, cool, and fascinating rat. However, she is also very humble, yet no one seems to believe that of all her amazing personality traits, humble is one of them. Sinai is very sad, as she is proud of how humble and modest she is, and she doesn’t like that no one believes her when she says that she is a humble rat.

Sinai, however, believes that there are rats out there who believe in the humbleness of her. To see just how many there are, she created this poll. Please answer it so that Sinai can see just how many rats really support her and can therefore return to normal life being loved by all who see her precious face.

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The Book of Sinai Entry #2

Dear Book of Me,

Sometimes I feel like my sister does not want to bond with me. I do not understand why, as I am the most attractive, smart, funny, lovable, soft, hilarious, amicable, likable, intelligent, kindly, cute, adorable, friendly, silky, charming, elegant, distinguished, brainy, great, divine, athletic, easy-going and humble rat to ever live. I mean, who wouldn’t want to bond with me? It’s the opportunity of a lifetime, you know. A lot of young rodents want nothing more than to be my friend, and here she is, refusing my kind offer!

But anyhow, I have been trying to be more friendly towards my sister, Soigné, after getting a couple complaints from some lady rat named “5w@nY_ay2881927463” on http://www.reviewsinai5starsordie.com about how I “mistreat my sister.” (Complete lies, obviously, but I don’t need some little kid spreading false rumors about the relationship I have with my sister.)

Some of the ways I have tried to be more kind than I already have been to Soigné include reducing her work day from sixteen hours to fifteen hours and fifty-nine minutes, helping her try on SinaiSüts (see Ask Sinai #2 for details), and forcing her to eat one square meal a day (instead of her old diet of choice, bread and water). I think I have been a very generous and loving sister, and yet she tells me that she wants to move out and no longer work for me. What a thankless snob! I’ve spent minutes thinking up ways to improve her already-privileged life. Believe me, not all rats can sleep in the cellars of the Divine Ruler of Everything! She should consider herself lucky. Shame on her for being so ungrateful.

Your favorite and very underappreciated rat,
Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything

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