Tag Archives: humble

Sinai’s New Years Resolutions!

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Me know that me is already the most wonderful rat to ever live, but how can me become even better?

Sinai is 99% the perfect rat. She’s attractive, nice, witty, cute, generous, loving, lovable, funny, humorous, intelligent, smart, pretty, kind, likeable, friendly, jiggly, chumpy, chubalicious, splendid, delicious, scrumptious, beautiful, good, great, selfless, wonderful, trustworthy, respectful, fantastic, chubby, interesting, fascinating, sinailicious, choopy, fabulous, fantabulous, incredible, a genius, brave, remarkable, lovely, knowledgeable, well-organized, creative, responsible, internationally beloved, peaceful, hard-working, fat,  confident, honest, and humble. However, she is still not perfect! Sinai thinks that with her resolutions for 2014, she will become 100% perfect.

Sinai’s Resolutions

  1. Me need money. Me make a lot of money (as in a couple trillion dollars) next year! It no matter how the money comes into my possession.
  2. Me should be more rude to Soigné so that she become more obedient and responding to my commands.
  3. Me really no like going to gym. Me will call up a demolition team and get them to demolish the gym! Then me no have to go!
  4. Me will convince all of the doubters that me really is a very humble rat! Me no know why they no believe me!
  5. Me will spray my nasty sister, Soigné, with lots of perfume so that she stops smelling like nasty latex.*
  6. Me not a very happy rat. Me will secretly record videos of Soigné doing embarrassing things and watch these videos in my free time to make me laugh.
  7. Me has wasted a lot of my time this year, so me will wake up one minute earlier than my normal time next year. Then me have lower wasted time to productive time ratio!
  8. Me gained twenty pounds this year . . . that is not enough! Me will gain fifty pounds in 2014!
  9. Yup, otherwise, me pretty much flawless.

* this is a true fact, Soigné actually does smell like latex.

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How to Hashtag Like a Pro!

It’s very easy to hashtag! All you do is pick random words that slightly relate to your subject matter and slap a hashtag in front. Hashtags used to be limited to just Twitter, but now d-bags and Honda dealers around the world stick them in front of every single word they speak just to be more d-bag-ish. Sinai will show you just how easy it is to hashtag by using a picture of her. All you need is your brain, literacy, and creativity. A thesaurus is helpful if you are short on hashtags but can’t find anything else to use.

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#sinai #cute #funny #sweet #adorable #charming #delightful #hilarious #pretty #beautiful #rat #rodent #rattusnorvegicus #attractive #smart #genius #intelligent #witty #punny #fancyrat #chubby #tail #multicoloredtail #prettytail #nice #plump #fatso #fatty #pleasantlyplump #lovable #likeable #snout #fur #hair #blackandwhite #blackandwhitefur #blackandwhitehair #notwhiteandblack #ihatewhiteandblack #whiteandblackisugly #hashtag #thisisahashtag #cuterat #cuteface #cutetail #nose #eye #othereye #eyes #nostril #internationallybeloved #remarkable #excellent #perfect #humble #shelf #cage #door #cagebars #wooddoor #greyshelf, #grayshelf, #ears, #dumborat, #bigears, #pinkears #soulfuleyes #sinaithegreat #sinaiblight #sinainumbersblight #sinainumbersnumbersdontlieblight #sinaithegreatdivinerulerofeverything #divineruler #divinerulerofeverything #stg #stgdroe #sb #snb #torso #furry #kind #fuzzy #fluffy #hairy #whiskers #shadow #amazing #hasalosersister #si #niley #sisi #nainai #smunny #dollarat #sbigcash #zwvasv #notianis #hasneverlied #animal #mammal #organism #alive #awake #darling #female #biggirl #chumpy #chump #chumpychump #chubba #photograph #photo #canbreathe #air #nitrogen #oxygen #o #watervapor #h2ovapor #carbondioxide #co2 #methane #gas #atmosphere #troposphere #earth #solarsystem #milkyway #milkywaygalaxy #theuniverse #doesnotoverusehashtags

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Is Sinai Humble?

As you all know, Sinai is a (self described) very beautiful, funny, cute, attractive, lovely, likable, charming, witty, smart, nice, great, cute, wonderful, brilliant, remarkable, fine-looking, cute, incredible, stunning, hilarious, chumpy, sinailicious, loving, kind, soft, lovable, beautiful, attractive, excellent, stellar, super, terrific, unique, outstanding, extraordinary, internationally-beloved, pretty, gorgeous, intelligent, cute, cute, beautiful, charming, delightful, cute, cool, and fascinating rat. However, she is also very humble, yet no one seems to believe that of all her amazing personality traits, humble is one of them. Sinai is very sad, as she is proud of how humble and modest she is, and she doesn’t like that no one believes her when she says that she is a humble rat.

Sinai, however, believes that there are rats out there who believe in the humbleness of her. To see just how many there are, she created this poll. Please answer it so that Sinai can see just how many rats really support her and can therefore return to normal life being loved by all who see her precious face.

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Oh, Sinai!

Sinai is a very nice, charming, cute, funny, sweet, lovable, beautiful, wonderful, remarkable, hilarious, witty, intelligent, smart, kind, friendly, soft, furry, chubby, chuckle-worthy, sinailicious, delightful, fair, lovely, stunning, respectful, responsible, peaceful, likable, fantastic, fabulous, brilliant, fashionable, hard-working, clean, neat, amazing, awesome, cool, generous, graceful, terrific, one-of-a-kind, gracious, thankful, trustworthy, unique, incredible, extraordinary, and humble rat (as described by her). However, for even the rat just short of perfection (AKA SINAI), there are times when you just need to say, “Oh, [insert name of rat here]!”, and not because you think they did an excellent job of completing a task.

 

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“Oh, Sinai! Why do you have to bathe yourself in front of me? Have you no conception of personal space?”

This does not happen very often, as Sinai is pretty much perfect. The only thing that prevents her from being perfect is the fact that she has no thumbs. And without thumbs, she can’t do a lot of things, which includes being perfect. Alas.

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Oh, Sinai! Why can’t you drink your water like a normal rat? Probably because you have no thumbs. Well, then, I don’t blame you. I probably would drink my water abnormally if I had no thumbs.

Pretty much everything Sinai does that is not perfect can be explained with the statement “she has no thumbs”, except for the one time that she accidentally told Soigné that she loved her. That was because Soigné’s evil demon thumbs (yes, Soigné has thumbs) told poor thumbless Sinai that she would receive thumbs (and therefore become perfect) if she only said “I love you” to Soigné just once. Naturally, Sinai really wanted thumbs, and she didn’t care if she only had to say “I love you” to Soigné once. However, Soigné’s thumbs were playing a cruel prank on Sinai, and they taped her telling Soigné that she loved her, which they uploaded online. All of Sinai’s fans thought that she loved Soigné, and it took Sinai nine months to clear up any doubt in her un-love for her sister. (Also, she never did get those thumbs. Of course, if she had gotten any, they probably would have also been evil demon thumbs that taped everything she said and turned her simple phrases into things that made it seem like she actually had feelings for her sister.)

Sinai in a pair of jeans that were clearly never hers to begin with.

Oh, Sinai! Why did you have to get the XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXL jeans?! You know that those are even too big for your huge and very portly tummy!

Of course, Sinai does not make very many poor choices, even with her lack of thumbs. Most of the time, in fact, she usually just follows her sister’s awful advice and ends up doing something that she later regrets. Sinai has tried to prevent this by finding other rats to work for her so that she can fire her sister, but so far no one has signed up. So it looks like she’ll just have to wait until somebody wants to be her chef/butler/tailor/maid/lawn service rat/painter/roofer/doctor/stand-in-sister/gardener/mattress/entertainment system/general all-purpose rat. If you are interested, call (123) LUV SISI. Pay is $1 per month. No health benefits. You may have to donate some of your money to Sinai if she asks for it.

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Ask Sinai #9

Dear Sinai,
You are an okay rat. I mean, you are a nice rat, but you are pretty average. I am also a very average rat. I am not exceptionally smart, funny, or talented. I was wondering how you somehow managed to become a very successful rat despite your averageness. I do not think I am destined to be big and famous like you, but I do want to live a successful life. Can you give me tips?

– Plain Old Ordinary Priscilla Bucket

Dear P.O.O.P Bucket,
Let me establish one fact before I continue: I AM NOT AN AVERAGE RAT. I am an extraordinarly witty, cute, funny, funny, smart, funny, kind, funny, adorable, attractive, funny, beautiful, exceptional, stellar, outstanding, kind, cute, hilarious, funny, funny, soigné, remarkable, poetic, funny, intelligent, kind, funny, divine, funny, graceful, gracious, funny, lovable, funny, wonderful, magical, wonderful, funny, attractive, charming, delightful, kind, funny, delightful, humble, and non-repetitive rat. I am in no way average. I don’t know what would ever make you think that that awful word could ever describe the Divine Ruler of Everything. Obviously, you are mentally diseased. I recommend you find a qualified doctor to help you find a cure (if any) to your mental illness. I believe Dr. S. I. Naithegreat, my dearest doctor friend, would be very good at helping you. She can be contacted by calling (123) LUV SISI. Now, onto your question. As you are mentally ill, I do not believe you would be able to understand any answers if I wrote them, so therefore I will not bother. Besides, insulting the most important rat alive pretty much ruins any chances you have of a successful life. I have friends in higher places than you (but lower than me).

– Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything

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A Very Easy Quiz Mostly About Your Favorite Rat (Answers Friday)

This quiz is a very easy quiz. You just have to get all of the questions right, which can’t be hard because there’s only eighty one of them, and they’re all multiple choice. If you don’t, you are sent into exile on a tiny, uninhabited island in the middle of the ocean to live out the rest of your life. If you do get them all right, you get an imaginary honorary mention certificate and a jar of air that was in the presence of Sinai the Great*. And who wouldn’t like an imaginary certificate and a jar of air*? Not me. I would love to have those things and would prize them for my entire life even above the picture of Sinai I have that I downloaded and printed from the computer. Now that you know the wonderful rewards one gets for completing this quiz (properly), are you excited to start? I know I am! So let’s go!


1. Who is your favorite rat?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

2. Who is the smartest rat to ever walk and breathe on this very earth?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

3. What is the best color ever? (Hint: It is the color of the fur of a certain wonderful rat who everyone admires and wants to be.)

a. black
b. white
c. black and white
d. white and black

4. What is your favorite rat’s full title?

a. Mojave the Annoying
b. Soigné the Blight on All Humanity
c. Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything
d. Olivia the Cat

5. Ianis Th’glib is neither of the following rats, but which is she most definitely NOT?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

6. Soigné spells her name S-O-I-G-N-É on purpose to confuse people, but how is it really spelled?

a. Swonye
b. Siognè
c. That Psycho
d. Swanyay

7. What is the only good trait Soigné has?

a. being of a color similar to black and white
b. having a confusing name
c. being related to Sinai
d. she has no good traits

8. Complete the sentence. Sinai is very _______.

a. much like her sister
b. stuck up
c. humble
d. Sinai

9. What is Sinai’s full name (not her title)?

a. Sinai The Best Blight
b. Sinai Wait-for-it Blight
c. Sinai Numbers (Numbers Don’t Lie) Blight
d. Sinai My Favorite Child Blight

10. Who is a dear friend of Sinai?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Ianis
d. Olivia

11. Who is another dear friend of Sinai?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Negev
d. Olivia

12. What is Sinai?

a. Rattus Norvegicus
b. Rattus Rattus
c. Sinainillius Thegreatus
d. Rattus norvegicus

13. What is Sinai’s lucky number?

a. 9
b. 9
c. 9
d. 9

14. What is your favorite rat’s favorite color?

a. green
b. grey (formerly clear)
c. pink
d. Olivia

15. Which does not belong on the list below?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

16. Sinai and Mojave are both siblings to wonderful and internationally beloved rats, and they also are both unworthy of being related to said internationally beloved rats. What is one difference between these two disgusting shames to their families?

a. One is a girl, the other a boy.
b. One is female, the other male.
c. There are no differences. Soigné is Mojave reincarnated
d. One is more feminine, the other more masculine.

17. Soigné has attempted to do all of the below to Sinai, except for…

a. strangle her
b. murder her
c. be nice to her
d. fatally wound her

18. Chub.

a. Flub.
b. Bub.
c. Chub.
d. Bear cub.

19. How easy is this quiz?

a. Very hard :'[
b. Challenging. :(
c. Super easy :D
d. In the middle :/

20. Well we are almost a fourth of the way through. Any words?

a. I love Sinai.
b. I really love Sinai.
c. I passionately love Sinai with all my heart! <3
d. I prefer Soigné.

21. If you answered D to the last question, please explain WHY you chose that particular answer.

a. D is my favorite letter
b. I guessed cuz I didn’t know what to put down
c. I did not choose D
d. I actually do prefer Soigné.

22. It feels like a perfect night…

a. to punish myself for picking D to the last two answers
b. to ask why did you have to bring Taylor Swift into this
c. to worship Sinai
d. to pick D as the answer again

23. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

a. Yadda yadda yadda
b. Uh huh uh huh
c. I love Sinai
d. I’m just going to keep on picking D

24. 24/6=?

a. 4
b. 4
c. 4
d. 183, 282, 190, 463

25. Just to clarify, who is your favorite rat again?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

26. Are you sure? Here is a second chance to change your answer.

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

27. This is your last chance. Pick who is your true favorite.

a. Sinai
b. Sinai
c. Sinai
d. Sinai

28. Who has the shortest, yet most dignified name of the listed below?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

29. If Train A leaves Sinaiville at 100 miles per hour, and Train B leaves Nainington at .01 miles per hour, which one has the sacred blessing of Sinai the Great bestowed upon it?

a. Train A
b. Train B
c. Sinai is too busy to bless trains
d. Sinai can bless trains?!

30. What is the most irrational fear listed below?

a. phobophobia
b. jimdandyphobia
c. sinaiphobia
d. paraskavedekatriaphobia

31. 2+2=?

a. 4
b. 5
c. Sinai
d. 22

32. Sinai is related to Soigné. Reaction?

a. :D
b. :)
c. OH GOOD GRACIOUS SINAI HOW CAN THIS BE?! Soigné is so unlike Sinai that I cannot believe it!
d. :'(

33. Soigné has two apples in one paw, three pears in another, fourteen watermelons in yet another, and eighty-six pineapples in her last paw. She also has nine cantaloupes in her mouth, five passion fruit balanced on her back, and a guava hovering above her head by evil witchcraft. Lastly, she has seventeen baby kiwis in her stomach and her tail wrapped around a durian. What does she have?

a. A lot of fruit.
b. 138 fruits, to be exact.
c. A day in court for robbing a fruit stand.
d. Really big paws.

34. What is Negev’s correct full title?

a. King Negev, Boss of You, Ruler of the World and Master of the Universe
b. King Negev Boss of You, Ruler of the World, and Master of the Universe
c. King Negev, Boss of You, Ruler of the World, and Master of the Universe
d. King Negev, Boss Of You, Ruler Of The World, And Master Of The Universe

35. What color is Negev’s fur?

a. tan
b. white
c. tan and white
d. white and tan

36. What is the general direction of weather in the United States?

a. downhill
b. up to down
c. west to east
d. North West to Kim Kardashian

37. x

a. y
b. z
c. Sinai
d. 0

38. Sinai is all of the following except…

a. Divine Ruler of Everything
b. very humble
c. Soigné
d. internationally beloved

39. Why did the chicken cross the road?

a. To get to the other side.
b. Because he wanted to.
c. He saw Sinai on the other side and wanted her pawtograph
d. Someone pushed him

40. For T to be acknowledged in the alphabet, what must happen?

a. it must pick a place among the letters
b. someone must put it in
c. it must ask for Sinai’s blessing to be included
d. it already is

41. Who is your favorite rat (please answer again)?

a. Sinai
b. Sinai
c. Sinai
d. Sinai

42. 7*6=?

a. 42
b. 42
c. Sinai
d. 42

43. You start coughing. What should you do?

a. See the doctor
b. Have a cough drop
c. Accuse Soigné of poisoning you
d. Cover your mouth

44. Continue the pattern: 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, ?

a. 4
b. 4
c. Sinai
d. 4

45. How much does Sinai weigh?

a. 1 lb.
b. 2 lbs.
c. 10 tons
d. 3 lbs.

46. What type of tail does your favorite rat have?

a. brown and crusty
b. monochromatic and pink
c. multicolored and beautiful
d. furry and catlike

47. You had it figured out since you were in school/Everybody loves ______, everybody loves ______.

a. pretty & cool
b. thread & a spool
c. Sinai & Sinai-ool
d. not Taylor Swift again!

48. What question would this be in base twelve?

a. 40
b. 4A
c. Sinai
d. Base twelve?

49. In what year was Rome founded?

a. 753 BCE
b. 357 BCE
c. When Sinai told it to
d. 537 BCE

50. Soigné’s name means

a. elegant
b. sleek
c. Sinai’s ugly sister that nobody likes
d. well groomed

51. What is a yepsen?

a. The two hands cupped together
b. A yep… sen
c. Not worth my time as it has nothing to do with Sinai
d. Nespey backwards

52. What does natiform mean, then?

a. shaped like a butt
b. shaped like a gnat
c. Still not worth my time, as Sinai does not have a natiform face
d. A nat… i… form

53. When was you favorite rat born?

a. August 4
b. April 12
c. May 9
d. April sometime

54. Why does February have only 28 days?

a. Augustus wanted 31 days in his month like how his dad had 31 in his (July), so he stole one from February.
b. It wants to be that way.
c. Sinai told it that since it did not worship her for long enough one day, it would only have 28 days.
d. Because it does.

55. Who has the worst sibling ever?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

56. Who is not Sinai?

a. Evajom
b. Éngios
c. Ianis
d. Aivilo

57. How old would Sinai be in rat years if she was 2 human years old?

a. 60
b. 2
c. Trick question, Sinai has been granted eternal youth
d. 14

58. Don’t say yes, run away now/I’ll meet you when you’re out of the church at the back door/Don’t wait, or say a single vow/You need to hear me out/And they said “____________.”

a. Speak now
b. Moo, I’m a cow
c. I love Sinai ouch Soigné bit me for saying that ow
d. Stop referencing Taylor Swift

59. Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxy…?

a. z
b. Next time, won’t you sing with me?
c. Sinai
d. z

60. Xoaisudfoiadusfkmndklafjduoiusfoaiudiouafweoiutfo ajsdkl;fjai;odsfuioadsufpasoudhfiocjklzjvi;aodspufoidsufoiasudfoiw094t8u209458t2049cko

a. What is this nonsense?!
b. Gibberish….
c. Sinai
d. xiou2098dnoiu ?

61. What does Soigné waste her huge paycheck on that is completely useless?

a. She doesn’t get a huge paycheck
b. She is forced to spend her paycheck for her sister
c. Toilet paper, toothpaste, and electricity
d. She hasn’t actually been paid in years

62. Finish the sentence: The most delightful, charming, funny, witty, hilarious, smart, intelligent, cute, adorable, kind, extraordinary, remarkable, attractive, lovable, beautiful, wonderful, and humble rat ever is _______.

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

63. Of the listed rats below, who is the most powerful being?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

64. What is the square root of 64?

a. 8
b. 8
c. Sinai
d. 8

65. The Panama Canal connects…

a. The Pacific and the Atlantic Oceans
b. The Atlantic and the Pacific Oceans
c. Sinai and Sinai
d. The Pacific and the Atlantic

66. Hup hup chup chup

a. Chup
b. Hup
c. Sinai
d. Hup chup

67. Which rat said this? “I am not Sinai”

a. Evajom
b. Éngios
c. Ianis
d. Aivilo

68. Who is the most unworthy rodent to walk the earth, especially of her gracious and loving sister?

a. Olivia
b. Sinai
c. Soigné
d. Mojave

69. The names below have been spelled incorrectly. Can you still figure out which rat is the greatest and most internationally beloved?

a. Mohavy
b. Swanyay
c. SIGH NIGH z– PICK THIS ONE
d. Aliveeyah

70. Which pair of siblings below is correctly matched?

a. Mojave & Dimples
b. Soigné & Ianis
c. Sinai & Soigné
d. Olivia & No One

71. Only ten more questions to go! What is a word that rhymes with “ten”?

a. pen
b. men
c. Sinai-en
d. hen

72. What number would you add onto the end of 72 to get the number cubed?

a. 9
b. 10
c. Sinai
d. 8

73. Soigné has decided that she no longer wants all of her fruit and has decided to rob a candy store. She has sixteen lollipops, twenty-three hard candies, five boxes of chocolates, thirty-four gummy bears, a bag of marshmallows, one cash register, fifty-nine chocolate bars, one lamp, two square feet of tile, a former candy shop employee, twelve surveillance cameras, two sample counters, an open sign, and eight pounds of gummy worms all in one trash bag. If she puts her grubby paw into the bag, what will most likely happen?

a. She will take a chocolate bar out.
b. She will take a gummy worm out.
c. The former candy shop employee will bite her paw.
d. She will take a sample counter out.

74. What does time look like?

a. A wheel that never stops moving
b. A never stopping undulating line with possible wormholes between the curves
c. Sinai’s face
d. A river that flows in one direction

75. What is the purpose of life?

a. I have no idea.
b. I have often pondered this.
c. Sinai
d. Hmmmmm…

76. Who makes the best nail pawlisshe colors (hint: siPawlisshe)

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

77. If you do not pass this quiz, what will happen?

a. I will go on with life like it never happened.
b. I will feel sad, but I won’t mind. It’s only a quiz.
c. I will go into exile.
d. I will throw my computer on the ground and smash it into tiny pieces.

78. Who has the most soothing voicing ever heard?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

79. Continue the pattern: ♥, ☺, ♥, •, ♥, ☺, ♥, •, ?

a. ♥
b. ☺
c. Sinai
d. •

80. What doesn’t lie?

a. Your quiz grade
b. Death
c. Sinai’s middle name
d. The truth

81. What is always the answer?

a. D
b. C
c. B
d. A

Bonus: (You have to get this right, too)

Will you pass this quiz?

a. Yes
b. No

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The Book of Sinai Entry #2

Dear Book of Me,

Sometimes I feel like my sister does not want to bond with me. I do not understand why, as I am the most attractive, smart, funny, lovable, soft, hilarious, amicable, likable, intelligent, kindly, cute, adorable, friendly, silky, charming, elegant, distinguished, brainy, great, divine, athletic, easy-going and humble rat to ever live. I mean, who wouldn’t want to bond with me? It’s the opportunity of a lifetime, you know. A lot of young rodents want nothing more than to be my friend, and here she is, refusing my kind offer!

But anyhow, I have been trying to be more friendly towards my sister, Soigné, after getting a couple complaints from some lady rat named “5w@nY_ay2881927463” on http://www.reviewsinai5starsordie.com about how I “mistreat my sister.” (Complete lies, obviously, but I don’t need some little kid spreading false rumors about the relationship I have with my sister.)

Some of the ways I have tried to be more kind than I already have been to Soigné include reducing her work day from sixteen hours to fifteen hours and fifty-nine minutes, helping her try on SinaiSüts (see Ask Sinai #2 for details), and forcing her to eat one square meal a day (instead of her old diet of choice, bread and water). I think I have been a very generous and loving sister, and yet she tells me that she wants to move out and no longer work for me. What a thankless snob! I’ve spent minutes thinking up ways to improve her already-privileged life. Believe me, not all rats can sleep in the cellars of the Divine Ruler of Everything! She should consider herself lucky. Shame on her for being so ungrateful.

Your favorite and very underappreciated rat,
Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything

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