Tag Archives: Ianis

RIP Sinai

9 May 2012 – 21 July 2014

Advertisements
Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Ianis- Proof That She Is Real and Is NOT Sinai Pretending to be Another Rat So That She Looks Popular With the Rats

Sinai and her friend, Ianis (who is totally not another picture of Sinai photoshopped into this)Sinai and her friend Ianis hanging out. As you can see, they are both in this picture, and therefore they both exist. P.S. This picture was not photoshopped or edited or anything like that, okay?

Rats seem to have a problem with accepting that Sinai is not Ianis, and that Ianis is a real rat. They all think that Ianis is just Sinai pretending to be another rat so that it looks like rats actually care about her, but that is untrue. Yes, Sinai and Ianis are both black and white with little black dots on their bellies. Yes, their names are made of the same letters, and I know that their heights and weights are exactly the same. Not only that, but Ianis’ full title, Ianis the Amazing, Supreme Monarch of All Things, sounds like a cheap rip-off of Sinai’s, which is Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything, but, okay, maybe it is it isn’t. Even though you probably are on the bandwagon and believing that Sinai=Ianis and Ianis=Sinai, that doesn’t mean that they are the same rats. They are just… really similar. Okay, yes, Ianis’ birthday is 9/5, while Sinai’s is 5/9. But that is just a coincidence! They are both unique rats, and these photos will prove that to you. None of them are edited, so you know you can trust them.

This image was not photoshopped or altered in any way, shape or form. It may seem strange, but yes, Ianis and Sinai were playing in a completely purple world with their names floating above their precious little heads. Maybe you've never seen that before. It doesn't mean it doesn't exist. With Sinai

Ianis and Sinai, obviously. They’re not so similar that you can’t tell them apart, obviously. (Hint: Ianis is the one who was not pasted into the original picture with only one cute and fuzzy rat in it. Oh wait, that’s both of them. Nevermind.) #nofilter

This photo was not edited in any way. Ianis and Sinai just happen to look very alike. With Sinai

Here are the two hanging out on the windowsill. I know that Ianis’ shadow looks like a cheap photoshop job, but that was just the light acting funny. And, okay, her edges look sharp, but she grooms her fur a lot.

y

Sure, this photo doesn’t have Sinai in it, but that doesn’t mean that it can’t be Ianis. I mean, seriously. Ianis looks just like Sinai! I don’t know why that is, but, anyways, this is Ianis. I have never lied, so you can totally trust me.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Hot New Trend: Headlessness

What’s the hottest new trend for animals and humans around the world? Headlessness, duh! Headlessness is the act of being headless or at least trying to be headless.

034

Olivia had troubles trying to make her head disappear, so she finally gave up and pretended that she didn’t have one.

Headlessness is really hot now because being headless also means being faceless, and if you have an ugly face, then no one has to look at it! Also, no one has to comb their hair or put on make-up when they are headless, which is totally awesome because hair and make-up are very time-consuming activities. Also, if you are shy, you have an excuse to not make eye contact (because you don’t have any eyes)!

016

Headlessness also makes your body more streamlined, as proven by Sinai the Great in this picture. It also makes you look really cute. Warning: Being headless for more than five minutes may cause neck pain.

Surprisingly, Sinai’s sister, Soigné, is actually on board with this trend (for once). She usually sulks in a corner and totally shuns everyone, but for once, instead of sulking, she sulks headlessly! Amazing, right? Here are some pictures of Soigné being headless. Shocking.

122

Look at this big ball of white evilness. Just think of all the poor children rats she was probably eating that made her so fat.

wpid-2013-05-12-20.08.47.jpg

Sinai tried asking Soigné why she suddenly decided to try and be trendy to see if she could put an explanation on these pictures, but Soigné did not answer (which did not surprise Sinai, as Soigné hates to be social). Seeing as Soigné probably was trying to be a pain in the invisible head on purpose, Sinai decided to ignore her annoying sister and find other rats who were being headless. Here they are.

A rat with a "censored sign" in front of its face (which you can still see, by the way)

Mojave’s head is nowhere to be found. How strange. I know that it is certainly not behind that humongous theta!

If you wish to maintain a clean public image, you must make sure to groom all parts of you, even the parts no one should ever see. Like your pinky toe.

Can you see Dimples’ head? Because I sure can’t. Nope. Definitely not here.

016

Okay, I know what you’re thinking. Well, guess what? This is not Sinai. This is Ianis, who happens to look very much like Sinai. Yes, this pictures looks an awful lot like the one of Sinai earlier in the post. However, it is of Ianis, and not Sinai, so it is not the same.

059

It’s Olivia, again! Here head must have disappeared properly this time. I wonder where it went. Not under the cat cap, obviously.

wpid-20121123192355.jpg

It’s Mojave… again. I wonder where his head keeps on going. Well, if there’s one place it can’t be, it’s inside that Yogies bag, eating dried yogurt!

Negev 003

You can’t see Negev’s head in this picture. Yes, there is something that resembles his head… but “resembles” is the key word. It isn’t his head, however precious it might be. (Very precious!)

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Unedited Pictures of Sinai!

All of the pictures in this post were not edited in any way. You have Sinai’s word for it, none of them were tweaked even slightly. Although some look like they have filters on them, they don’t– the lighting was just really off. Really. Sinai does not lie. All of these pictures are unedited. You may doubt it, but it is the truth.

[Links to original articles with images in them are provided]


UNEDITED PHOTOS OF SINAI!!!!

Sinai and her friend, Ianis (who is totally not another picture of Sinai photoshopped into this)This is Sinai (in the front) with her good friend, Ianis. Ianis is not Sinai pretending to be another rat, in case you were thinking that. So what if Ianis’ name backwards just so happens to spell “SINAI?” Sinai and Ianis are their own rats, and that is proven by this completely unedited picture of them hanging out. [link]

wpid-sinai-and-olivia.pngHere is Sinai with her friend, Olivia. Olivia is sitting on her paw oddly, which is why you can’t see the rest of her body. And yes, Sinai is bigger than Olivia… and tinted pink. [link] [link]

This image was not photoshopped or altered in any way, shape or form. It may seem strange, but yes, Ianis and Sinai were playing in a completely purple world with their names floating above their precious little heads. Maybe you've never seen that before. It doesn't mean it doesn't exist. With Sinai

Just Ianis and Sinai hanging out again. Ianis is the one in the front. You may have noticed that she looks an awful lot like Sinai, but that is just the way things are. Also, I would like to confirm that Ianis and Sinai were in a completely purple world, and their names were hovering above their heads. [link]

wpid-wallpaper.png

What a cute rat! I wonder why that red blob is there… well, I know it’s definitely not because the picture was EDITED, right? As for the radiating lines, the light was funny. Don’t blame Sinai. She didn’t alter this picture at all. [link(Please ignore the name of the article which this link links to.)

sinai-and-friends

Hahaha! It’s Sinai and her friends wearing their Barney suits! Sinai is the one the purple one (whatever its name is), while Ianis is wearing the green one (whatever her name is). Lastly, Sinai’s sister (whatever her name is) is in the yellow guy’s suit (I forget what his name is). Yes, Sinai’s sister doesn’t have a white blaze on it like whatever her name is normally does, but she had her fur dyed that day. [link]

wpid-sinaaa.png

Sinai working out at the gym. Nothing phony here. [link]

This photo was not edited in any way. Ianis and Sinai just happen to look very alike. With Sinai

Ianis (right) and Sinai (left) again. Nothing phony here, either. It’s just a coincidence that the two happened to be in the exact same position at the exact same time. [link] [link]

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Puntastic Orijinil Nok Nok Joax™ by Sinai

You may have heard similar jokes to the ones written below. However, the ones written here are the real McKoifish. The others that you have probably heard are called “knock knock jokes” (very similar sounding name, as you may have noted), and they are nothing more than cheap ripoffs. As none of them were approved by the owner of the Orijinil Nok Nok Joax™ patent (a certain Ms. Sinai Blight) before being told, they are technically illegal, and being caught telling, listening, or laughing at one can result in a minimum of ten years behind bars. However, you are allowed to listen to copyrighted and approved Orijinil Nok Nok Joax™ whenever you like.


Orijinil Nok Nok Joax™ ~ Approved by Ms. Sinai Blight

Sinai: Nok Nok
Siognè: Huze thare?
Sinai: Sinai
Siognè: [drops down to knees and worships Sinai]

Sinai: Nok Nok
Sinai: Huze thare?
Sinai: Me
Sinai: Me hu?
Sinai: Hahahaha!

Swanyuck: Nok Nok
Everyone: Go away, Swanyuck!

Swanyuck: Huze thare?
Everyone: SHUT UP SWANYUCK!
Swanyuck: boo hoo

Swanyuck: [cries]
Everyone: [goes on with their lives]

Sinai: Nok Nok
Everyone: Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
Sinai: [gets showered with love]

Negev: Nok Nok
Sinai: Nok Nok
Ianis: Nok Nok
Swanyawn: Nok Nok
Everyone: Stop being a bandwagoner, Swanyawn!

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Ask Sinai #8: An Interview With an Internationally Beloved Rat Who Everyone Loves and Admires

Sinai Blight: Hi there! I’m Sinai Blight, here tonight with an interview with none other than the internationally beloved rat who everyone loves and admires, Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything! We are very privileged, blessed, grateful, and lucky to have this awesome rat here tonight. So, Sinai, how goes it?

Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything: I’m feeling very sinailicious today, Sinai! I am so pleased to be here. I really like your fur color. What is it?

SB: It’s a classic, black and white. I absolutely love it. It is so much more stylish and attractive than that gruesome white and black that so many rats accidentally wear when they’re really going for black and white.

STGDROE: I agree. My sister, Soigné, has white and black fur. It is atrocious and makes my eyes bleed each time I look at it for more than nine seconds. I can understand why rats mistake it for black and white, though. They think that the order of words doesn’t matter when it comes to color names when, really, it is of the utmost importance.

SB: Quite true. For example, everyone knows that red-orange and orange-red get different crayons, so why shouldn’t black and white and white and black be different?

STGDROE: Exactly! I’ve always thought the same!

SB: it’s almost like we had the same brain! [does a chuck-o] However, we can’t share the same face! Yours is stunning. I wish I had it.

STGDROE: Why, thank you, Sinai! I do enjoy my face. [does a chuck-o as well] Yours is pretty nice for a rat who isn’t me. It looks a lot like that of my dear friend, Ianis Th’glib.

SB: Thank you! Ianis has a lovely face. It kind of looks like yours, only it’s not yours, so it just isn’t the same. You know, some rats think that is Ianis is just you pretending to be another rat to look more popular! What do you think of that, O Noble One?

STGDROE: It’s poppycock, I say. Why would I ever do that? So what if her name backwards happens to be mine? So what if we haven’t ever been seen publicly in the same room? So what if she looks a lot like me? So what if her voice is as soothing as mine is? So what if her birthday is 9/5 and mine is 5/9? She and I are completely different individuals. I really wish rats would stop spreading that rumor around. I love Ianis, but I am not her. As Paula Deen would say, “I is what I is”… and she be what she be.

SB: I completely believe you. The only reason I asked you that is because my cruel indentured servant rodent, Soigné, threatened to stop working for me if I did not mention it. Luckily, she did not force me to fake-believe it.

STGDROE: Yes. If there is anyone out there who has never had a cruel indentured servant rodent blackmail them, why don’t you just pick up that large pebble and throw it so hard so that it causes my evil indentured servant rodent (coincidentally also named Soigné, it must be a common name) to become an amnesiac and forget all about wanting to be a vicious indentured servant rodent? [breaks down in practiced fake tears]

SB: I would, but I am not sure my aim is very good, and besides, I have had a cruel indentured servant rodent blackmail me. Although, I do wish you luck. And, it is strange that both of our indentured servant rodents are named Soigné. We certainly aren’t the same rat, so they couldn’t be the same Soigné… unless she had a second job?

STGDROE: That’s ridiculous. Mine can hardly do her first. I think that Soigné has just become the default name for malicious indentured servant rodents due to the fact that I am very popular, and therefore, rats know about my wicked indentured servant rodent and want to acknowledge their love for me by naming their own rotten indentured servant rodents after me. My name, however, is too precious to waste on a vile indentured servant rodent, so obviously, everyone has chosen to use my lowly sister’s name. I do not blame them.

SB: How interesting. Say, how is your sister doing? Is she warming up to working for you?

STGDROE: Sadly, no. Which is unfortunate, as her twenty-year anniversary of being my indentured servant rodent is approaching. In fact, she has taken to, instead of tidying, ruining my rooms. I appointed some rat off the street to watch her and make sure she doesn’t steal anything while I’m here, but he only would watch her for a little time. Oh! Looks like I’m going to leave now. I don’t want her to start trashing the entertainment wing.

SB: I understand. Well, goodbye for then.

STGDROE: Goodbye. You really are a nice rat. You could almost be me.

SB: Yes, but I’m obviously not! [does a litt-o chuck-o] Goodbye, Sinai Blight.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

A Very Easy Quiz Mostly About Your Favorite Rat (Answers Friday)

This quiz is a very easy quiz. You just have to get all of the questions right, which can’t be hard because there’s only eighty one of them, and they’re all multiple choice. If you don’t, you are sent into exile on a tiny, uninhabited island in the middle of the ocean to live out the rest of your life. If you do get them all right, you get an imaginary honorary mention certificate and a jar of air that was in the presence of Sinai the Great*. And who wouldn’t like an imaginary certificate and a jar of air*? Not me. I would love to have those things and would prize them for my entire life even above the picture of Sinai I have that I downloaded and printed from the computer. Now that you know the wonderful rewards one gets for completing this quiz (properly), are you excited to start? I know I am! So let’s go!


1. Who is your favorite rat?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

2. Who is the smartest rat to ever walk and breathe on this very earth?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

3. What is the best color ever? (Hint: It is the color of the fur of a certain wonderful rat who everyone admires and wants to be.)

a. black
b. white
c. black and white
d. white and black

4. What is your favorite rat’s full title?

a. Mojave the Annoying
b. Soigné the Blight on All Humanity
c. Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything
d. Olivia the Cat

5. Ianis Th’glib is neither of the following rats, but which is she most definitely NOT?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

6. Soigné spells her name S-O-I-G-N-É on purpose to confuse people, but how is it really spelled?

a. Swonye
b. Siognè
c. That Psycho
d. Swanyay

7. What is the only good trait Soigné has?

a. being of a color similar to black and white
b. having a confusing name
c. being related to Sinai
d. she has no good traits

8. Complete the sentence. Sinai is very _______.

a. much like her sister
b. stuck up
c. humble
d. Sinai

9. What is Sinai’s full name (not her title)?

a. Sinai The Best Blight
b. Sinai Wait-for-it Blight
c. Sinai Numbers (Numbers Don’t Lie) Blight
d. Sinai My Favorite Child Blight

10. Who is a dear friend of Sinai?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Ianis
d. Olivia

11. Who is another dear friend of Sinai?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Negev
d. Olivia

12. What is Sinai?

a. Rattus Norvegicus
b. Rattus Rattus
c. Sinainillius Thegreatus
d. Rattus norvegicus

13. What is Sinai’s lucky number?

a. 9
b. 9
c. 9
d. 9

14. What is your favorite rat’s favorite color?

a. green
b. grey (formerly clear)
c. pink
d. Olivia

15. Which does not belong on the list below?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

16. Sinai and Mojave are both siblings to wonderful and internationally beloved rats, and they also are both unworthy of being related to said internationally beloved rats. What is one difference between these two disgusting shames to their families?

a. One is a girl, the other a boy.
b. One is female, the other male.
c. There are no differences. Soigné is Mojave reincarnated
d. One is more feminine, the other more masculine.

17. Soigné has attempted to do all of the below to Sinai, except for…

a. strangle her
b. murder her
c. be nice to her
d. fatally wound her

18. Chub.

a. Flub.
b. Bub.
c. Chub.
d. Bear cub.

19. How easy is this quiz?

a. Very hard :'[
b. Challenging. :(
c. Super easy :D
d. In the middle :/

20. Well we are almost a fourth of the way through. Any words?

a. I love Sinai.
b. I really love Sinai.
c. I passionately love Sinai with all my heart! <3
d. I prefer Soigné.

21. If you answered D to the last question, please explain WHY you chose that particular answer.

a. D is my favorite letter
b. I guessed cuz I didn’t know what to put down
c. I did not choose D
d. I actually do prefer Soigné.

22. It feels like a perfect night…

a. to punish myself for picking D to the last two answers
b. to ask why did you have to bring Taylor Swift into this
c. to worship Sinai
d. to pick D as the answer again

23. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

a. Yadda yadda yadda
b. Uh huh uh huh
c. I love Sinai
d. I’m just going to keep on picking D

24. 24/6=?

a. 4
b. 4
c. 4
d. 183, 282, 190, 463

25. Just to clarify, who is your favorite rat again?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

26. Are you sure? Here is a second chance to change your answer.

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

27. This is your last chance. Pick who is your true favorite.

a. Sinai
b. Sinai
c. Sinai
d. Sinai

28. Who has the shortest, yet most dignified name of the listed below?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

29. If Train A leaves Sinaiville at 100 miles per hour, and Train B leaves Nainington at .01 miles per hour, which one has the sacred blessing of Sinai the Great bestowed upon it?

a. Train A
b. Train B
c. Sinai is too busy to bless trains
d. Sinai can bless trains?!

30. What is the most irrational fear listed below?

a. phobophobia
b. jimdandyphobia
c. sinaiphobia
d. paraskavedekatriaphobia

31. 2+2=?

a. 4
b. 5
c. Sinai
d. 22

32. Sinai is related to Soigné. Reaction?

a. :D
b. :)
c. OH GOOD GRACIOUS SINAI HOW CAN THIS BE?! Soigné is so unlike Sinai that I cannot believe it!
d. :'(

33. Soigné has two apples in one paw, three pears in another, fourteen watermelons in yet another, and eighty-six pineapples in her last paw. She also has nine cantaloupes in her mouth, five passion fruit balanced on her back, and a guava hovering above her head by evil witchcraft. Lastly, she has seventeen baby kiwis in her stomach and her tail wrapped around a durian. What does she have?

a. A lot of fruit.
b. 138 fruits, to be exact.
c. A day in court for robbing a fruit stand.
d. Really big paws.

34. What is Negev’s correct full title?

a. King Negev, Boss of You, Ruler of the World and Master of the Universe
b. King Negev Boss of You, Ruler of the World, and Master of the Universe
c. King Negev, Boss of You, Ruler of the World, and Master of the Universe
d. King Negev, Boss Of You, Ruler Of The World, And Master Of The Universe

35. What color is Negev’s fur?

a. tan
b. white
c. tan and white
d. white and tan

36. What is the general direction of weather in the United States?

a. downhill
b. up to down
c. west to east
d. North West to Kim Kardashian

37. x

a. y
b. z
c. Sinai
d. 0

38. Sinai is all of the following except…

a. Divine Ruler of Everything
b. very humble
c. Soigné
d. internationally beloved

39. Why did the chicken cross the road?

a. To get to the other side.
b. Because he wanted to.
c. He saw Sinai on the other side and wanted her pawtograph
d. Someone pushed him

40. For T to be acknowledged in the alphabet, what must happen?

a. it must pick a place among the letters
b. someone must put it in
c. it must ask for Sinai’s blessing to be included
d. it already is

41. Who is your favorite rat (please answer again)?

a. Sinai
b. Sinai
c. Sinai
d. Sinai

42. 7*6=?

a. 42
b. 42
c. Sinai
d. 42

43. You start coughing. What should you do?

a. See the doctor
b. Have a cough drop
c. Accuse Soigné of poisoning you
d. Cover your mouth

44. Continue the pattern: 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, ?

a. 4
b. 4
c. Sinai
d. 4

45. How much does Sinai weigh?

a. 1 lb.
b. 2 lbs.
c. 10 tons
d. 3 lbs.

46. What type of tail does your favorite rat have?

a. brown and crusty
b. monochromatic and pink
c. multicolored and beautiful
d. furry and catlike

47. You had it figured out since you were in school/Everybody loves ______, everybody loves ______.

a. pretty & cool
b. thread & a spool
c. Sinai & Sinai-ool
d. not Taylor Swift again!

48. What question would this be in base twelve?

a. 40
b. 4A
c. Sinai
d. Base twelve?

49. In what year was Rome founded?

a. 753 BCE
b. 357 BCE
c. When Sinai told it to
d. 537 BCE

50. Soigné’s name means

a. elegant
b. sleek
c. Sinai’s ugly sister that nobody likes
d. well groomed

51. What is a yepsen?

a. The two hands cupped together
b. A yep… sen
c. Not worth my time as it has nothing to do with Sinai
d. Nespey backwards

52. What does natiform mean, then?

a. shaped like a butt
b. shaped like a gnat
c. Still not worth my time, as Sinai does not have a natiform face
d. A nat… i… form

53. When was you favorite rat born?

a. August 4
b. April 12
c. May 9
d. April sometime

54. Why does February have only 28 days?

a. Augustus wanted 31 days in his month like how his dad had 31 in his (July), so he stole one from February.
b. It wants to be that way.
c. Sinai told it that since it did not worship her for long enough one day, it would only have 28 days.
d. Because it does.

55. Who has the worst sibling ever?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

56. Who is not Sinai?

a. Evajom
b. Éngios
c. Ianis
d. Aivilo

57. How old would Sinai be in rat years if she was 2 human years old?

a. 60
b. 2
c. Trick question, Sinai has been granted eternal youth
d. 14

58. Don’t say yes, run away now/I’ll meet you when you’re out of the church at the back door/Don’t wait, or say a single vow/You need to hear me out/And they said “____________.”

a. Speak now
b. Moo, I’m a cow
c. I love Sinai ouch Soigné bit me for saying that ow
d. Stop referencing Taylor Swift

59. Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxy…?

a. z
b. Next time, won’t you sing with me?
c. Sinai
d. z

60. Xoaisudfoiadusfkmndklafjduoiusfoaiudiouafweoiutfo ajsdkl;fjai;odsfuioadsufpasoudhfiocjklzjvi;aodspufoidsufoiasudfoiw094t8u209458t2049cko

a. What is this nonsense?!
b. Gibberish….
c. Sinai
d. xiou2098dnoiu ?

61. What does Soigné waste her huge paycheck on that is completely useless?

a. She doesn’t get a huge paycheck
b. She is forced to spend her paycheck for her sister
c. Toilet paper, toothpaste, and electricity
d. She hasn’t actually been paid in years

62. Finish the sentence: The most delightful, charming, funny, witty, hilarious, smart, intelligent, cute, adorable, kind, extraordinary, remarkable, attractive, lovable, beautiful, wonderful, and humble rat ever is _______.

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

63. Of the listed rats below, who is the most powerful being?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

64. What is the square root of 64?

a. 8
b. 8
c. Sinai
d. 8

65. The Panama Canal connects…

a. The Pacific and the Atlantic Oceans
b. The Atlantic and the Pacific Oceans
c. Sinai and Sinai
d. The Pacific and the Atlantic

66. Hup hup chup chup

a. Chup
b. Hup
c. Sinai
d. Hup chup

67. Which rat said this? “I am not Sinai”

a. Evajom
b. Éngios
c. Ianis
d. Aivilo

68. Who is the most unworthy rodent to walk the earth, especially of her gracious and loving sister?

a. Olivia
b. Sinai
c. Soigné
d. Mojave

69. The names below have been spelled incorrectly. Can you still figure out which rat is the greatest and most internationally beloved?

a. Mohavy
b. Swanyay
c. SIGH NIGH z– PICK THIS ONE
d. Aliveeyah

70. Which pair of siblings below is correctly matched?

a. Mojave & Dimples
b. Soigné & Ianis
c. Sinai & Soigné
d. Olivia & No One

71. Only ten more questions to go! What is a word that rhymes with “ten”?

a. pen
b. men
c. Sinai-en
d. hen

72. What number would you add onto the end of 72 to get the number cubed?

a. 9
b. 10
c. Sinai
d. 8

73. Soigné has decided that she no longer wants all of her fruit and has decided to rob a candy store. She has sixteen lollipops, twenty-three hard candies, five boxes of chocolates, thirty-four gummy bears, a bag of marshmallows, one cash register, fifty-nine chocolate bars, one lamp, two square feet of tile, a former candy shop employee, twelve surveillance cameras, two sample counters, an open sign, and eight pounds of gummy worms all in one trash bag. If she puts her grubby paw into the bag, what will most likely happen?

a. She will take a chocolate bar out.
b. She will take a gummy worm out.
c. The former candy shop employee will bite her paw.
d. She will take a sample counter out.

74. What does time look like?

a. A wheel that never stops moving
b. A never stopping undulating line with possible wormholes between the curves
c. Sinai’s face
d. A river that flows in one direction

75. What is the purpose of life?

a. I have no idea.
b. I have often pondered this.
c. Sinai
d. Hmmmmm…

76. Who makes the best nail pawlisshe colors (hint: siPawlisshe)

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

77. If you do not pass this quiz, what will happen?

a. I will go on with life like it never happened.
b. I will feel sad, but I won’t mind. It’s only a quiz.
c. I will go into exile.
d. I will throw my computer on the ground and smash it into tiny pieces.

78. Who has the most soothing voicing ever heard?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

79. Continue the pattern: ♥, ☺, ♥, •, ♥, ☺, ♥, •, ?

a. ♥
b. ☺
c. Sinai
d. •

80. What doesn’t lie?

a. Your quiz grade
b. Death
c. Sinai’s middle name
d. The truth

81. What is always the answer?

a. D
b. C
c. B
d. A

Bonus: (You have to get this right, too)

Will you pass this quiz?

a. Yes
b. No

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

A Sinai Tale #7: The Adventures of Ianis (Who Is Totally Not Sinai Pretending to Be Another Rat So That She Looks More Popular With Others and Is 100% Real)

Once upon a time, there was a cute and friendly rat named Ianis Th’glib. Ianis was a very unique rat with a very happy personality, and yet, no one actually believed her when she said that she was her own individual self (which she prided herself on being). When she said that she was not the equally cute and friendly Divine Ruler of Everything, Sinai, pretending to be another rat just so she could look more popular, everyone rolled their eyes. “Yeah right,” they said, “You’re not Sinai if we aren’t rolling our beady accusing eyes that can’t process the fact that you might actually be your own individual self.” Ianis tried to tell them the truth, but they just brought up fake evidence that proved that she was Sinai. “Your name backwards is Sinai,” said the dimwitted and unbelieving rats after raiding her house for all proof that Ianis was a fake rat. “And your birthday is 9/5/2012, while Sinai’s is 5/9/2012. That is a really big coincidence.” Then they went on to make up a ton of untrue things that just made even more rats fall under the belief that Ianis was not real.

Ianis was very sad because of this. She could no longer go to the grocery store and buy yummy rat treats without some rat telling her to just give it up and go back to ruling the country. “But I’ve never even been in Sinai’s amazingly luxurious palace!” she would exclaim only to have even more beady and unbelieving eyes rolled at her.

After a while, it was just too much for the poor rat to take. She did not blame Sinai because it was not Sinai’s fault that everyone thought that Ianis was her. She also did not blame herself because she knew that she was born the way she was, and she didn’t want to pretend to be another rat to escape the scrutiny of the public eye (especially since everyone already thought that she was pretending to be herself). So, naturally, the last choice was to go on an epic quest to prove her individuality. Ianis decided that if she went to the very large and far away Mountains of Truth (anyone who went there was stripped of all the lies that surrounded them) and made a video diary of her journey (which she would post online), then everyone would believe her when she said that she wasn’t Sinai.

Immediately, Ianis prepared for her long and arduous journey to the very distant Mountains of Truth. “I must pack some food, some clothing, and most importantly, my camcorder so that I can record my video diary,” muttered the rat as she stuffed a backpack with all that she would need for her voyage. After she finished, she discovered that it was way too heavy for her to carry all the way to the mystical Mountains of Truth (which were a full miles away from her house), so she took out most of the food. (She kept all of her candy, though.) It was still too weighty (it didn’t help that her camcorder weighed ten pounds), so she dumped her changes of underwear and extra shirts. After she took out everything from her backpack except for her camcorder, candy, and bathing suit, it was finally light enough to carry all the way to the mountains. Wanting to get moving right away, Ianis locked the door of her house (she had also taken her house key) and embarked on the long and tiring trek to her destination.

After munching candy bars for ten minutes, Ianis noticed that she was dangerously low on food. “Hm, I wonder how that happened,” she wondered. Since she didn’t want to starve, she surveyed her surroundings and discovered that she was right by a bucket of free fruit. Happy to find this amazing discovery, Ianis loaded up her entire backpack with oranges, apples, and a couple pears as well. She did not really like fruit, but she couldn’t turn down this offer. It almost seemed as Fate herself wanted Ianis to survive her journey of truth.

Ianis marched on for another mile when she discovered that she was near a kind farmer’s fields. She was very tired from walking an entire mile that day, so she knocked on the farmer’s door.

It took the farmer a little while to reach the door, but he finally opened it. “Hello?” he said as he opened it. “Who are you?”

Ianis took a deep breath and introduced herself. She knew that if she said something wrong, she might have to sleep outside in the somewhat uncomfortable grass. “I am a poor traveler,” she said. “I have traveled a full one mile from hom home. Will you let me stay the night?”

The farmer stared at the weary rat with disbelief. “Are you kidding me? One ***** mile?! When I was your age, I walked a full ten miles to school each day and ten miles back! What a wimp! I also don’t know your name. The only circumstance in which I would let a rat like you stay under my roof would be if you paid me $500.”

Ianis pondered this. She knew she did not have $500 on her, but she did have her checkbook. Also, she was pretty sure the farmer would accept credit. However, she was unsure if she really wanted to dish up that much money for one night of comfort. It didn’t seem very explorer-like, and when she published her video diary, she wanted rats to focus on the truth of individuality, and not the fact that she paid $500 for a room on the first night of her journey. It did seem to make her seem kind of wimpy. Even if she did show the world that she was Ianis and only Ianis, she knew there was a chance that she would be called weak and picked on if she chose to stay at the not-so-kind farmer’s place. After thinking for a while, she decided to decline the farmer’s offer. It was too late, however. The farmer had already shut the door on Ianis hours ago.

With a sigh, Ianis continued into the night, seeking a place to sleep. She didn’t want to sleep anywhere muddy, but she also didn’t want to sleep on any dry and crinkly grass. She finally found the perfect patch of grass, but by that point, it was noon the next day. It seemed kind of ridiculous to stop for a rest now when she was already halfway through the second day, so she marched onward. She was kind of tired, and her eyelids kept on drooping over, but she didn’t stop until the sun set that evening. With a yawn, the tired rodent fell over and was asleep before she hit the lush grass that she had stopped on. (Before she went to bed, she did record Day 2 of her video diary.)

The next morning, Ianis woke up refreshed and started off. She had already traveled two and a half miles, so she knew that she only had half of her journey to the Mountains of Truth left. Even though she had eaten all of her food except for two pears, she felt that she would be well off to reach the mountains in two to three days. Then she would only have to make the return journey and post her video diary online so everyone could see how much of an individual she was and apologize to her for accusing her of being Sinai (not like Ianis didn’t like Sinai).

With the thought of all the cruel and unbelieving rats finally apologizing to her, Ianis confidently marched forward to the distant mountains. She finally reached the entrance to the mountains on Day 4 (ahead of time by one day). Ianis knew that walking forward would be a very big move that could show the world the truth. Taking a deep breath, she started up her camcorder and pressed “record”. Situating it on a tripod, Ianis waved at the camera and let all of her future viewers know what she was about to do. “I’m about to walk the Mountains of Truth,” she declared. “Now you will all see that I am truly my own rat and not another pretending to be me. The Mountains of Truth do not lie, as you know. I am going to stop talking now so you can watch it all unfold. By the end of this video, I know that you will have seen the truth of who I am– which is my own rat.” She then turned around and unlocked the gate that stopped rats who wanted to keep their lies floating around them from entering. Ianis slowly put one paw forward… then the other. She advanced slowly, knowing that the magical stripping of lies would occur within the next 250 feet.

After walking 500 feet, Ianis still felt nothing. She had passed the point of truth with nothing happening. This meant that she was wearing the truth now, and that she had always been. After standing where she was for a couple seconds, she returned to her camcorder and turned it off (but not without saying goodbye).  Packing it into her bag, Ianis started the return journey home, knowing that now everyone would believe her when she said that she was not Sinai.

Five days later, Ianis posted her video diary online. It got a million and two likes, and everyone apologized to her for saying that she was another rat. Finally, she was able to be just Ianis and not the rat that everyone thought was Sinai.

The End.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
%d bloggers like this: