Tag Archives: internationally beloved

Sinai’s New Years Resolutions!

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Me know that me is already the most wonderful rat to ever live, but how can me become even better?

Sinai is 99% the perfect rat. She’s attractive, nice, witty, cute, generous, loving, lovable, funny, humorous, intelligent, smart, pretty, kind, likeable, friendly, jiggly, chumpy, chubalicious, splendid, delicious, scrumptious, beautiful, good, great, selfless, wonderful, trustworthy, respectful, fantastic, chubby, interesting, fascinating, sinailicious, choopy, fabulous, fantabulous, incredible, a genius, brave, remarkable, lovely, knowledgeable, well-organized, creative, responsible, internationally beloved, peaceful, hard-working, fat,  confident, honest, and humble. However, she is still not perfect! Sinai thinks that with her resolutions for 2014, she will become 100% perfect.

Sinai’s Resolutions

  1. Me need money. Me make a lot of money (as in a couple trillion dollars) next year! It no matter how the money comes into my possession.
  2. Me should be more rude to Soigné so that she become more obedient and responding to my commands.
  3. Me really no like going to gym. Me will call up a demolition team and get them to demolish the gym! Then me no have to go!
  4. Me will convince all of the doubters that me really is a very humble rat! Me no know why they no believe me!
  5. Me will spray my nasty sister, Soigné, with lots of perfume so that she stops smelling like nasty latex.*
  6. Me not a very happy rat. Me will secretly record videos of Soigné doing embarrassing things and watch these videos in my free time to make me laugh.
  7. Me has wasted a lot of my time this year, so me will wake up one minute earlier than my normal time next year. Then me have lower wasted time to productive time ratio!
  8. Me gained twenty pounds this year . . . that is not enough! Me will gain fifty pounds in 2014!
  9. Yup, otherwise, me pretty much flawless.

* this is a true fact, Soigné actually does smell like latex.

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A Beautiful Haiku About Sinai

Sinai is pretty
She is so pretty, attractive, interesting, nice, kindly, funny, sweet, likeable, loveable, adorable, chumpy, delightful, sinailicious, good, great, wonderful, admirable, internationally-beloved, cute, fuzzy, fluffy, delicious, chucka-y, skilled, talented, smart, witty, intelligent, knowledgable, exciting, and friendly.
That five syllables

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Ask Sinai #11: Sinai’s Fan Mail!!!

As you may know, Sinai is an internationally beloved rat. Being so internationally beloved, Sinai naturally receives much fan mail. Reading so much fan mail can get quite tiring. (Sometimes, Sinai has to stay up until six to read her fan mail… and she wakes up at 6:30!)

However, there are some fan letters that wake Sinai up when she reads them. Of the millions of letters she has received, these are the ones she has remembered… and here they are!

P.S. These are genuine. The rats who wrote these letters are real, not, oh, you know, fake ones that Sinai has made up.


Dear Sinai

I love you very much! You are my most favorite rat! I love you so very much! I send to you lots of kisses and hugs and love in general. I love you very much! You are a wonderful rat. You are so great! I love you! Your ugly sister is not deserving of you! I love you!

Love,
Siney Sisi XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

P.S. I love you


Hi Sinai!

You are the best! I feel so lucky to have you as my divine ruler of everything. You are a wonderful rat. I named my children after you so that they can have a positive role model in life. I even got my husband to change his name to Sinaio because it is such a lovely name, especially compared to his old one (Swanyayo). I tried to change my name to Sinaia, but my mother won’t let me. Won’t you please write my mother and try to convince her to let me change my name?

Your #1 Fan,

Sinaiaa Dagreatus


Dearest Sinai,

I wrote a poem for you, that is how much I love you.

There once was a rat named Sinai
She was wonderful and perfect and great-ai
I love her
Everyone loves her
She is the bestest rat ever-ai!!!!!

Love from,

Lalalalalailovesinailalalalala Dadadadadadadireallyloveherdadadada


Hello Sinai,

It is I, your horrid and unworthy sister. Yes, I know you do not like me. Believe me, I understand you for feeling that way. I just want to say that I apologise for being such an awful sibling and a disappointment to the family name. I would really like to say I’m sorry for that time last week I breathed in your presence. It was disrespectful of me to do so. I have been practicing feeling emotions so that I will not do that again. I am not very good at feeling, though, so I hope that you will accept my efforts. Also, I have sent you one million gold bars, ten billion bags of yogies, three small continents, $5,000,000,000 in cash, and a giftcard to the local bakery to try and make up for all the times I have been a bad sister.

Yours,

Siognè, yoor sister

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A Sinai Tale #13: The Rat Who Thought She Was More Important Than Her Sister (Even Though She Wasn’t) and What Happened to This Horribly Stuck-up Rodent

Soigné was a very ugly rodent child. She was white and black (ugh!) with normal-sized ears (ew!), buckteeth (nasty!), and a booger problem (disgusting!). She also smelled like the town dump.

Everyone acknowledged that Soigné was ugly. Well, not everyone really. Soigné didn’t think she was that ugly. In fact, she thought she was quite nice looking, even though she was obviously not.

Soigné had a rat sister whose name was Sinai. Sinai was the exact opposite of her sister. While Soigné could only speak in grunts, Sinai eloquently strung words together into beautiful examples of perfect English. Soigné’s belly was very small; Sinai’s was quite large and jiggly. And last of all, Sinai was internationally beloved by the masses, while Soigné couldn’t walk to the grocery store without getting tomatoes thrown at her head.

The horrible Soigné also had some behavioral problems. For example, she sometimes bit the paper-rat when he was too late delivering the paper (thus causing the paper-rat to not ever want to deliver it). She also occasionally stole clothing out of department stores and then blamed Sinai for her crimes. Sometimes, she even attempted to be in the same area of her more dignified sister, Sinai!

After a while, Sinai got sick of her sister acting like a crazy psycho, so she sat on her face, and all her Soigné-related troubles ended right there and then.

The end.

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Is Sinai Humble?

As you all know, Sinai is a (self described) very beautiful, funny, cute, attractive, lovely, likable, charming, witty, smart, nice, great, cute, wonderful, brilliant, remarkable, fine-looking, cute, incredible, stunning, hilarious, chumpy, sinailicious, loving, kind, soft, lovable, beautiful, attractive, excellent, stellar, super, terrific, unique, outstanding, extraordinary, internationally-beloved, pretty, gorgeous, intelligent, cute, cute, beautiful, charming, delightful, cute, cool, and fascinating rat. However, she is also very humble, yet no one seems to believe that of all her amazing personality traits, humble is one of them. Sinai is very sad, as she is proud of how humble and modest she is, and she doesn’t like that no one believes her when she says that she is a humble rat.

Sinai, however, believes that there are rats out there who believe in the humbleness of her. To see just how many there are, she created this poll. Please answer it so that Sinai can see just how many rats really support her and can therefore return to normal life being loved by all who see her precious face.

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The International Day of Sinai

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What’s coming up in less than a week? Obviously a Sinaiday. (And a celebratory day for Negev, but you’ll hear that when it occurs.) And what Sinaiday is this? None other than the International Day of Sinai, which, as we all know, will be celebrated world wide by everyone because Sinai is an internationally beloved rat.

The International Day of Sinai (on July 9th) is a great day to show Sinai just how internationally beloved she is. I mean, she already has an idea of just how much everyone loves her by the the fact that whenever she steps out in public, huge crowds of fans gather around her to get her pawtograph, but she doesn’t know just how much she is internationally beloved. There’s no number to put on it. If you want to give her that number (1000%, naturally), then it’s quite easy. All you must do is:

What You Must Do to Show Your Love of Sinai
1.) Promise to name your first child after her. (If you already have children, get your eldest to change his or her name to Sinai.)
2.) Send her many gifts. (Good ones, mind you!)
3.) Pray to her for nine hours straight.
4.) Build a huge temple with a gigantic marble statue of her.
5.) Sacrifice at least nine fruits to her at said temple. Note: Please do not sacrifice anything that could ruin the temple by staining or anything that smells particularily horrid.
6.) Rewrite your will so that she gets at least 59% of the inheiritance.
7.) Leave an anonymous gift of nine bars of gold at her front door (in the Anonymous Gifts of Gold box, please).
8.) Sign up to be one of her privileged servants (getting this position is not guaranteed).
9.) Pray to her for another nine hours.
10.) Write and publish a delightful book about how much you passionately love your Divine Ruler of Everything.
11.) Boo or jeer at Soigné when you spot her.
12.) Dye your fur so that you look like Sinai.
13.) Adjust your weight so that you weigh the same amount that Sinai weighs (ten tons).
14.) Pray to Sinai for another session of nine hours.
15.) Send her some money. ($999 minimum donation)
16.) Purchase every product for sale by Sinai and make sure to thank her profoundly for allowing you to buy them.
17.) Draw her a beautiful picture (of her) and gift it to her with a present of some precious gems.
18.) Repeat list.

See?! How easy is that? The only rule to following the list is that it must all be done on the International Day of Sinai. Also that you must do the list (every part). And that you must do it all according to how it is written here, or you are disqualified and must start over. It is a very easy list, though, and it probably won’t take more than 28 hours of your day (not counting construction of the temple, waiting in line, et cetera.)

So what are you waiting for? Show Sinai your deep love today on July 9th!

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