Tag Archives: keeping you alive

THE MOST AMAZING INVENTION EVER INVENTED! GET IT NOW FOR A DISCOUNTED PRICE OF ONLY $99.99!!!

Recently, Sinai was experimenting with her chemistry set, and she combined a lot of nitrogen with some oxygen, some water vapor, methane, carbon dioxide, and several other gases. What she made was so amazing that she has decided to share it with you!!! Sinai knows that you will love her fabulous new invention called Aerh™, and because of that, she is offering it for a limited discounted price of $99.99. But hurry up, because quantity is limited, and everybody else will also be scrambling to pick up their phones once they finish reading about the life-changing Aerh™!

A ginger tabby staring at the camera.

Pictured: Olivia experiencing the amazing new invention, Aerh™!! She really likes it, by the way.

Sinai has found many uses for Aerh™, making it very versatile! For example, Aerh™ helps you be and stay alive, which is totally cool and fun. Sinai discovered that, by using another one of her amazing inventions, LUNNZ™ (buy by calling the number provided at the bottom for only $999.99), you can magically process Aerh™ so that you do not die! She is not sure how, but the process involves sucking in Aerh™ and letting it out again. Another use for Aerh™ is not making you explode! If you are in a room full of Aerh™, you will not explode because the Aerh™ is pushing down on you or something like that. Yeah, Sinai is not really sure how Aerh™ works its magic. However, if you remove all the Aerh™ from the room, you will create a Vaky00m™ (patented by Sinai, so don’t steal), there will be no pressure (no pressure not removing all the Aerh™, haha), and you will burst into many tiny pieces. Lastly, you can walk on Aerh™*. This is called flying, and it is so much fun!

Since Sinai is such a kind-hearted soul, she has kindly allowed all you fortunate people to be able to buy her fantastic invention. From today to next yesterday, Aerh™ will be sold for a special discounted price of $99.99 per one unit of 2mg of Aerh™ (plus shipping and handling)! Yes, I know this may not sound very low to you. However, I would like to remind you that Aerh™ allows you to live and not be blown up into thousands of tiny pieces. Is your life worth so little that you will not spend $99.99 to keep it? Anyhow, I would also like to point out that the normal price of Aerh™ is $999,999,999,999.99 (per unit). You will be able pay for your Aerh™ in nine easy payments of $11.11.

So what are you waiting for? Call (123) LUV SISI today to order your Aerh™!

 * If you are not a bird, bat, or winged insect, we cannot guarantee that you will be able to actually do this. Please do not sue Sinai if you attempt to walk on air and accidentally break your neck.

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