Me know that me is already the most wonderful rat to ever live, but how can me become even better?
Sinai is 99% the perfect rat. She’s attractive, nice, witty, cute, generous, loving, lovable, funny, humorous, intelligent, smart, pretty, kind, likeable, friendly, jiggly, chumpy, chubalicious, splendid, delicious, scrumptious, beautiful, good, great, selfless, wonderful, trustworthy, respectful, fantastic, chubby, interesting, fascinating, sinailicious, choopy, fabulous, fantabulous, incredible, a genius, brave, remarkable, lovely, knowledgeable, well-organized, creative, responsible, internationally beloved, peaceful, hard-working, fat, confident, honest, and humble. However, she is still not perfect! Sinai thinks that with her resolutions for 2014, she will become 100% perfect.
- Me need money. Me make a lot of money (as in a couple trillion dollars) next year! It no matter how the money comes into my possession.
- Me should be more rude to Soigné so that she become more obedient and responding to my commands.
- Me really no like going to gym. Me will call up a demolition team and get them to demolish the gym! Then me no have to go!
- Me will convince all of the doubters that me really is a very humble rat! Me no know why they no believe me!
- Me will spray my nasty sister, Soigné, with lots of perfume so that she stops smelling like nasty latex.*
- Me not a very happy rat. Me will secretly record videos of Soigné doing embarrassing things and watch these videos in my free time to make me laugh.
- Me has wasted a lot of my time this year, so me will wake up one minute earlier than my normal time next year. Then me have lower wasted time to productive time ratio!
- Me gained twenty pounds this year . . . that is not enough! Me will gain fifty pounds in 2014!
- Yup, otherwise, me pretty much flawless.
* this is a true fact, Soigné actually does smell like latex.