Tag Archives: likeable

Sinai’s New Years Resolutions!

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Me know that me is already the most wonderful rat to ever live, but how can me become even better?

Sinai is 99% the perfect rat. She’s attractive, nice, witty, cute, generous, loving, lovable, funny, humorous, intelligent, smart, pretty, kind, likeable, friendly, jiggly, chumpy, chubalicious, splendid, delicious, scrumptious, beautiful, good, great, selfless, wonderful, trustworthy, respectful, fantastic, chubby, interesting, fascinating, sinailicious, choopy, fabulous, fantabulous, incredible, a genius, brave, remarkable, lovely, knowledgeable, well-organized, creative, responsible, internationally beloved, peaceful, hard-working, fat,  confident, honest, and humble. However, she is still not perfect! Sinai thinks that with her resolutions for 2014, she will become 100% perfect.

Sinai’s Resolutions

  1. Me need money. Me make a lot of money (as in a couple trillion dollars) next year! It no matter how the money comes into my possession.
  2. Me should be more rude to Soigné so that she become more obedient and responding to my commands.
  3. Me really no like going to gym. Me will call up a demolition team and get them to demolish the gym! Then me no have to go!
  4. Me will convince all of the doubters that me really is a very humble rat! Me no know why they no believe me!
  5. Me will spray my nasty sister, Soigné, with lots of perfume so that she stops smelling like nasty latex.*
  6. Me not a very happy rat. Me will secretly record videos of Soigné doing embarrassing things and watch these videos in my free time to make me laugh.
  7. Me has wasted a lot of my time this year, so me will wake up one minute earlier than my normal time next year. Then me have lower wasted time to productive time ratio!
  8. Me gained twenty pounds this year . . . that is not enough! Me will gain fifty pounds in 2014!
  9. Yup, otherwise, me pretty much flawless.

* this is a true fact, Soigné actually does smell like latex.

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A Beautiful Haiku About Sinai

Sinai is pretty
She is so pretty, attractive, interesting, nice, kindly, funny, sweet, likeable, loveable, adorable, chumpy, delightful, sinailicious, good, great, wonderful, admirable, internationally-beloved, cute, fuzzy, fluffy, delicious, chucka-y, skilled, talented, smart, witty, intelligent, knowledgable, exciting, and friendly.
That five syllables

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How to Hashtag Like a Pro!

It’s very easy to hashtag! All you do is pick random words that slightly relate to your subject matter and slap a hashtag in front. Hashtags used to be limited to just Twitter, but now d-bags and Honda dealers around the world stick them in front of every single word they speak just to be more d-bag-ish. Sinai will show you just how easy it is to hashtag by using a picture of her. All you need is your brain, literacy, and creativity. A thesaurus is helpful if you are short on hashtags but can’t find anything else to use.

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#sinai #cute #funny #sweet #adorable #charming #delightful #hilarious #pretty #beautiful #rat #rodent #rattusnorvegicus #attractive #smart #genius #intelligent #witty #punny #fancyrat #chubby #tail #multicoloredtail #prettytail #nice #plump #fatso #fatty #pleasantlyplump #lovable #likeable #snout #fur #hair #blackandwhite #blackandwhitefur #blackandwhitehair #notwhiteandblack #ihatewhiteandblack #whiteandblackisugly #hashtag #thisisahashtag #cuterat #cuteface #cutetail #nose #eye #othereye #eyes #nostril #internationallybeloved #remarkable #excellent #perfect #humble #shelf #cage #door #cagebars #wooddoor #greyshelf, #grayshelf, #ears, #dumborat, #bigears, #pinkears #soulfuleyes #sinaithegreat #sinaiblight #sinainumbersblight #sinainumbersnumbersdontlieblight #sinaithegreatdivinerulerofeverything #divineruler #divinerulerofeverything #stg #stgdroe #sb #snb #torso #furry #kind #fuzzy #fluffy #hairy #whiskers #shadow #amazing #hasalosersister #si #niley #sisi #nainai #smunny #dollarat #sbigcash #zwvasv #notianis #hasneverlied #animal #mammal #organism #alive #awake #darling #female #biggirl #chumpy #chump #chumpychump #chubba #photograph #photo #canbreathe #air #nitrogen #oxygen #o #watervapor #h2ovapor #carbondioxide #co2 #methane #gas #atmosphere #troposphere #earth #solarsystem #milkyway #milkywaygalaxy #theuniverse #doesnotoverusehashtags

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How To Be Like Soigné Blight (Better Known As Sinai’s Pesky Sister)!

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Hi! I’m Soigné, the sister of Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything! I am definitely not Sinai pretending to be Soigné! Why would I she ever want to do that? I can’t honestly imagine why you would want to be like me (as in Soigné, not Sinai who, let me repeat, I am not), but, as you are still reading this I assume you actually do. (?!) Anyhow, read on to learn how to be a total schlemiel just like me! Oh, how exciting!

You have probably, at one point in your life, wanted to be someone other than yourself. Examples of rats who you probably have wanted to be would include Sinai the Great, Sinai Blight, or the Divine Ruler of Everything. However, there are many other rats who can want to be, even if you are not exactly sure why you’d want to be them. Soigné Blight is a very good example of such rats. She is annoying, pesky, a pain in the multi-colored tail, annoying, annoying, annoying, greasy, annoying, grimy, disgusting, annoying, dirty, nasty, gross, not soigné, annoying, annoying, annoying, annoying, irritating, annoying, and annoying– but for some reason, rats want to be like her. Who knew?

If you are suddenly wanting to be like Soigné for some strange reason, then you are in luck! Sinai has typed up this lovely and rather helpful guide just for you! Reading it will help you to achieve your crazy goal of being like Soigné (who is a terrible role model, BY THE WAY).

How To Be a Terrible Rat Just Like Soigné!

Before you continue, please ask yourself if you really want to be like Soigné. If you are not 100% sure, then you should not continue. If you are 100% sure that you really do want to be like Soigné, then you should probably go see your doctor.

Step 1. Roll around in a vat full of grease. It is important to be very greasy when you are imitating Soigné because she prides herself in the terrible condition of her straw-like fur.

Step 2. Dye your fur a disgusting shade of white and black (!! NOT BLACK AND WHITE !!). Be very careful not to get black and white, because that is not Soigné’s fur color.

Step 3. Adapt to have a nasally accent (or one that sounds like you have a nose full of boogers).

Step 4. Roll around in some more grease.

Step 5. Get a cute, funny, adorable, likeable, sweet, charming, delightful, soigné, black and white, beautiful, attractive, and kindly rat to be the Sinai to your Soigné. Bonus points if you are related to said rat.

Step 6. Reject baths, showers, cleanliness, and hygiene in general. If you are to be Soigné, you must be absolutely filthy!

Step 7. Read Soigné’s autobiography (I Am Not A Terrible Rat! by S. T. A. Blight) so you can think more like this disgrace to society.

Step 8. Thoroughly coat yourself with even more grease.

Step 9. Give up because no one can ever be as disgusting as Soigné is. And don’t forget to go to your doctor to have your brain checked!

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