How To Sit: As Written By Expert Sitter, Olivia Mewerly

I know it can be tough to sit. Sitting is so very, very hard. It is… quite challenging. I mean, you have to place your butt in a chair! That is so hard. Luckily, there are cats like me who are willing to teach less unfortunate cats/rats/people how to sit! I will even teach you how to sit in many different styles! Aren’t you lucky?! Don’t’ forget to thank me after you finish reading this informative article by sending me some delicious cat treats.

Method One: Sitting Like a Lady

Technically, I did not write this article. Some rat did. I forget what her name is. I think it is something like Sinner or something ’cause she is a very sinful rat. (She sneezes in my face all the time.) Anyways, here is a picture of me sitting like a lady.

I look so good when I sit in this extremely proper way. Oh yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh….

Method Two: Looking Like You Are About To Mark Your Territory

Simply lie on your stomach and lift up your tail so it sticks up in the air. This works best when your but is right next to something that you might want to mark as your own.

Yes, I know that is a painting of me in the background. It might seem weird that I want to mark that, but it’s a painting of me, you know.

Method Three: The Criss-Cross

Curl up like you are going to go to sleep. (You can go to sleep when you sit like this, but make sure you do that after you cross your legs.) Take your front legs and cross them over your back ones to form a plus sign. Ta da!

Look at me! I’m asleep, and I’m still doing the Criss Cross! I’m such a clever cat. : 3

Method Four: Keep Your Tail From Flying Away

Tails are very important parts of our bodies. Sometimes, they fly away in the wind, but you don’t want that to happen to your tail. Therefore, you must keep a careful paw on your tail at all times so that it does not detach itself from your spine.

I know that I am inside in this picture, but you know, houses have drafts. I don’t want to lose my tail.

Method Five: The Fashionista

You will look like you really care about fashion if you fall asleep with your furbrush sitting on top of you. Basically, you place your furbrush on you when you are awake, and then you fall asleep. While you are asleep, make sure to not move, or else you might kick it off of you, and then that would be so sad, wouldn’t it?

My furbrush matches my beach towel with fish on it. Did I mention that I am a clever cat?

Method Six: I’m Being An Armadillo

This is a simple one. You curl up like you are going to fall asleep and then tuck your head into your body so that the silhouette of your body is pretty much an oval/circle.

I am so circular in this picture. The only problem is that my ear is sticking out. Maybe I should get it folded so it doesn’t do that. Or maybe not. I don’t want to look like one of those ridiculous Scottish Folds.

Method Seven: The Paw Crimp

You must place your paws in front of your body to do this sit. It is actually quite easy. You can sit as awkwardly as it goes as long as you crimp your paws. Look at the picture of me below for ideas on how to crimp them.

Make sure it looks physically impossible. Also, I am a clever cat. Did I already say that?