It’s the big day! Sinai, everyone’s favorite rat, is now one (in human years) or thirty (in rat years). You should congratulate her for reaching this milestone in her life by sending her a gift. As in a very large and expensive gift. Twenty-four karat gold is preferred, but cash, checks, sterling-silver, jewelry, collectables, antiques, food, candy, coupons, gift certificates, businesses, towns, imported goods, cars, airplanes, treats, yachts, coins, and small children who would like to be her servants when they grow up are also accepted. (Mail to 5912 Seinhe Eye Rd.)
After sending your present to the world’s funniest, cutest, most lovable, sweetest, most charming, softest, furriest, and most soigné ball of happiness (aka Sinai), why don’t you head on down to one of the new Sinai $hops that recently opened. Every cent made from purchases goes to a charity that helps rats who are very nice but who are also burdened by their rotten sister(s). And don’t just buy because of charity; buy because you want everything that a Sinai $hop has– and there’s a lot of stuff in a Sinai $hop. From old sisters to feather dusters, you’ll want it all! Buy from a Sinai $hop today! (Locations not yet able to be disclosed.)
Finally, end your day by painting your claws using siPawlisshe™. It comes in 125, 373, 282 great colors.
MARK YOUR GIFT TO SINAI WITH THE CODE “51N@1R0X5912” TO GET PREMIUM ONE-DAY SHIPPING ON YOUR PACKAGE*. CALL (123) LUV SISI IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS
* you will still be required to pay the $99 fee for premium shipping
Answer Key to A Quick Quiz By Sinai
b, c, c, e, d, c, b, f, a