Tag Archives: multi-colored tails

Has Olivia Joined Soigné’s Evil Cause?

As you may already know, Sinai’s evil sister, Soigné, has started to recruit a secret army to ruin a world where happy multi-colored tails can exist in peace. Before, Sinai had been pretty sure that of all her friends, the only one who was involved with this dangerous plot to destroy life as we know it was Soigné (who does not really count because the only reason why Sinai even talks to her is because they are related). But now Sinai is not so sure. She isn’t sure, but she thinks that her cat friend, Olivia, may also be involved with Soigné’s vicious ways.

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Pictured above: a cat who could quite possibly be thinking of all the multi-colored tails she wants to destroy. (Which is messed up, as she has a multi-colored tail herself.)

Sinai hasn’t seen any solid evidence for this, but the picture above does show Olivia looking pretty evil. I mean, just look at that brooding expression on the feline’s face. It definitely could be a sign of Olivia turning to the dark side. Or it could also be a sign of her feeling very constipated and needing to prepare for the bomb that is about to explode. (Or she could be thinking of the literal bomb that she is going to explode.)

A ginger tabby staring at the camera.

And I thought that she was a nice kitty!

The problem with this is that Olivia herself has a multicolored tail. It is light orange with darker orange stripes and a white tip. It seems strange that a cat blessed with such a lovely tail would ever want to turn against her own kind. Unless she’s a traitor. Which is possible. But why? Why would a cat who was so lucky to have a beautiful tail that would be even nicer if it wasn’t so furry (and probably full of cat dandruff) suddenly not want it? Why would that very same cat want to destroy all others who had her tail type? WHY?

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Who knew that she hated her tail so much? Personally, I can understand not liking the fur part of it, but why in the world would she not like the amazing array of colors that is presented on her butt appendage?

What do you think? Is Olivia a traitor? Or is she just an innocent cat who looks really suspicious (but isn’t)? Pray do tell. Help Sinai out by voting below.

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BREAKING NEWS: Soigné’s Evil Plot to Ruin the Tails OF THE WORLD Revealed (not yet confirmed)

Please Note: The following story includes pictures of rats without colorful tails. If you have a weak stomach, you may want to refrain from this very graphic story. If you are okay with reading about and viewing one color tails, you may continue.

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Soigné attempts to endear others by sleepily stating an ego-booster that might not be quite true for the axe murderer she just saw rob a bank and steal a child’s candy (who she did not stop). It still doesn’t distract from the lack of different colors on her butt appendage.

As you may know, Sinai has a sister. Sinai loves her sister very much. Sinai tries to think of Soigné, her beloved sister, as a good rat, but Soigné doesn’t try very hard to prove Sinai right. Sinai has repeatedly asked her darling sibling to not act so creepy and disturbing around Sinai’s equally beloved and darling subjects, but Soigné either can’t stop having a disturbing one color tail (which is what makes her so creepy and unappealing)… or she doesn’t want to stop. (We suspect the latter.) Because of this, no one in Sinai’s entire large and very vast kingdom wants anything to do with the Divine Ruler’s sister. Which is sad because Soigné really is a good rat once you get past her unusual tail.

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Just look at that disgusting tail. I can’t even look at it for more than ten seconds without puking. (Note: The tail I am talking about is the lighter, less colorful one. Not the very attractive multi-colored one.)

Unfortunately, Soigné also seems unable to acknowledge the fact that multi-colored tails are hot this season, and that the last time boring tails like her own were popular was in freaking 2012. (Which was very long ago, as you all know.) Because of this, she makes disturbing, controversial, scandalous, and questionable comments about tails. Often, she remarks about the “ridiculousness” of the multi-colored tail (which is actually the point of high fashion) and makes excuses for why she can’t dye her tail, wear a tail-covering over her own, or just get plastic surgery to have it changed to be more appealing. Sinai has even offered to give her a full 1% discount on some siPawlisshe™ so that Soigné can paint her tail pretty colors (like Pupey™). (Naturally, Soigné refused the very kind and generous offer.) Because of the fact that Soigné is so unwilling to change to be more fashionable, we can only conclude one thing: Soigné wants the world to change to be more unfashionable.

Now, I know this is very hard to understand, but there is logic involved. Sinai explains it to us in a quote.

“My sister does not want to change her tail to be more appealing to society. She is too lazy to do that. Instead, she wants society to change to be more appealing to her tail. Most likely, she has created a secret army of rats who all have tails of one color. She will probably attack soon. This is why I have increased the defense spending from .001% of the budget to .002%. I really hope this will help save us from my sister.”

Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything (in an interview for Lulu Imnotlyingson’s Accurate Reading, or L.I.A.R.)

We can only hope that Soigné secret army is very small and not at all powerful. (And that they are very bad about keeping secrets.) Sinai says that any rats found to be in it will be tried for treason and fashion crimes (if they turn themselves in, they will only be charged with fashion crimes, and if they have juicy information on Soigné’s little army of traitors, then they will only have to go to court for minor outfit infringements). However, there is no knowing what might happen, so cross your paws and be glad that you were born with a multi-colored tail.


Answer to A Very Brief Quiz: There is no answer. If you answered it, then you failed.

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