Tag Archives: Negev

King of the world

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Negev Defines the Word Camoflauge

camouflage

According to Negev…

Camouflage is when I can’t see anything, which is very sad. Like in the picture above. I cannot see myself. Well, actually I can, but it’s hard to see myself, so I’m going to say that I can’t.

According to the Dictionary

cam•ou•flage

n.

the act, means, or result of obscuring things to deceive an enemy, as by painting or screening objects so that they are lost to view in the background, or by making up objects that from a distance have the appearance of fortifications, guns, roads, etc.
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Negev Defines the word Codification

According to Negev…

Codification is a bunch of rules, like that book up there. It’s only Volume 237 ofThe Rules of Negevland, so it is codification because it a book of rules. Catch my drift?

According to the Dictionary…

cod•i•fi•ca•tion

n.

the act, process, or result of arranging in a systematic form or code
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Negev Defines the Word Irascible

Stole this off my old website, sorry for being so inactive. I promise I will try to upload more from now on! ^^


IRASCIBLE

According to Negev…

Irascible is a long word that sounds kinda like I rat sibble. And otherwise, I don’t know what it means. But I think it has something to do with rats, if you catch my drift. :)

According to the Dictionary…

i•ras•ci•ble

adj.

easily provoked to anger; very irritable
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The Reason Why Negev Hates Penguins

Cast of Characters

Amazing Sweet Charming Rodent Who You All Love! ♥ – Negev
Clouds – Sinai’s Belly
Negev’s Drink – The Green Stuff that We Found On The Cheese This Morning
Penguin Who Must Be Killed For Its Crimes Against the King – Some Guy We Pulled Off the Street
Sun Whose Ears Continually Get Larger – Sinai
To Be Continued Rat – Also Sinai
Ugly Waste of Space – Mojave
Ugly Waste of Space’s Broom Bristles – Soigné

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How to Be Like Mojave As Taught By The Notoriously Annoying Rat Himself

Mojave 024

Me. I am not annoying at all, despite what Negev says about me.

Hello, there. It is Mojave. I know that my brother and his best friend, Sinai the Whatever Something-something Blight, have probably spread rumors about me and my good friend, Soigné being extremely annoying pains-in-the-tails. However, that is not true. If anyone is an annoying pain-in-the-tail, it has to be either Negev or Sinai. Their extremely distorted perspectives on life (example: Negev believing he is the king of the world) have caused them to act like crazy psychos, which they are, actually. Sometimes, Negev will steal my money because he believes it to be “me chucka-chucka right yo uggy brother.” And occasionally, Sinai will try to blackmail me into joining her fan club, which she believes is quite large, when in reality, the only members are her, Negev, her mother, and rats who she blackmails into joining.

Anyhow, I came here to write about how to be like me. It is really easy, actually.

Step 1.) Acquire a crazy psycho for a sibling.

Step 2.) Act like you normally do.

Step 3.) Wait for said crazy psycho to begin seeing you as the crazy psycho.

And that’s all there is to it! Yeah, so, if you really do want to lead a life like mine (you don’t), there it was.

p.s. I didn’t make up the title for this post.

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The Brand New Extraordinarily New and Fun New Brand New New New Sport That is New Called CLIPH JUMPEEN™!!!! (Written by Negev)

Cliph Jumpeen™ is a very fun and brand new sport that I, King Negev, Boss of You, Ruler of the World, and Master of the Universe, recently invented. It is a bit hard to understand at first, so follow along very carefully, and you will know how to have fun doing the brand new sport called Cliph Jumpeen™!

negev-falls-off-cliff

Step Wun! Obtain fun cliff! You want a good cliff. It should drop off into a pit where you cannot see the bottom for the BEST results, okay? Now go find a cliff. A really good one, remember.

Step TOO! Ditch safety tools! Who needs safety harness, padding, health insurance? Not you, that’s for sure, O brave one.

Step thrE3! Go to fun cliff. Don’t forget to not put a mattress at the bottom or, like, wear a parachute or something. It’s really not that dangerous. Really. Me guarantee it.

Step PH0AR! Take the leap of faith! Jk, it’s not a leap of faith. You know you will not break your skull open when you land, or maybe drown if you end up in a swiftly flowing river. Why bother worrying when you know you’ll be safe.

Step Fife! Enjoy the rush as you fall through space faster than terminal velocity! You may not ever be able to go back to your old life once you permanently trap yourself in the bottom of a canyon, but who cares? This is so funnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

Note: Negev is not responsible for you injuring yourself if you actually do this.

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Hot New Trend: Headlessness

What’s the hottest new trend for animals and humans around the world? Headlessness, duh! Headlessness is the act of being headless or at least trying to be headless.

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Olivia had troubles trying to make her head disappear, so she finally gave up and pretended that she didn’t have one.

Headlessness is really hot now because being headless also means being faceless, and if you have an ugly face, then no one has to look at it! Also, no one has to comb their hair or put on make-up when they are headless, which is totally awesome because hair and make-up are very time-consuming activities. Also, if you are shy, you have an excuse to not make eye contact (because you don’t have any eyes)!

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Headlessness also makes your body more streamlined, as proven by Sinai the Great in this picture. It also makes you look really cute. Warning: Being headless for more than five minutes may cause neck pain.

Surprisingly, Sinai’s sister, Soigné, is actually on board with this trend (for once). She usually sulks in a corner and totally shuns everyone, but for once, instead of sulking, she sulks headlessly! Amazing, right? Here are some pictures of Soigné being headless. Shocking.

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Look at this big ball of white evilness. Just think of all the poor children rats she was probably eating that made her so fat.

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Sinai tried asking Soigné why she suddenly decided to try and be trendy to see if she could put an explanation on these pictures, but Soigné did not answer (which did not surprise Sinai, as Soigné hates to be social). Seeing as Soigné probably was trying to be a pain in the invisible head on purpose, Sinai decided to ignore her annoying sister and find other rats who were being headless. Here they are.

A rat with a "censored sign" in front of its face (which you can still see, by the way)

Mojave’s head is nowhere to be found. How strange. I know that it is certainly not behind that humongous theta!

If you wish to maintain a clean public image, you must make sure to groom all parts of you, even the parts no one should ever see. Like your pinky toe.

Can you see Dimples’ head? Because I sure can’t. Nope. Definitely not here.

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Okay, I know what you’re thinking. Well, guess what? This is not Sinai. This is Ianis, who happens to look very much like Sinai. Yes, this pictures looks an awful lot like the one of Sinai earlier in the post. However, it is of Ianis, and not Sinai, so it is not the same.

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It’s Olivia, again! Here head must have disappeared properly this time. I wonder where it went. Not under the cat cap, obviously.

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It’s Mojave… again. I wonder where his head keeps on going. Well, if there’s one place it can’t be, it’s inside that Yogies bag, eating dried yogurt!

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You can’t see Negev’s head in this picture. Yes, there is something that resembles his head… but “resembles” is the key word. It isn’t his head, however precious it might be. (Very precious!)

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