Tag Archives: Not Soigné

This Is Sinai In Her Halloween Costume

Sinai has a multi-functional costume. It is many things in one. Here are all of them.

WHAT SINAI’S COSTUME IS

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Sinai in her costume. Do not mind the ugly thing in the lower left corner.

  1. The Divine Ruler of Everything
  2. Teenage punk who is too lazy to make a legit costume but still wants free candy
  3. Person trying to break the system
  4. Rat disguised as a small child disguised as a rat
  5. Sinai
  6. Cute large mouse (?)
  7. Not Soigné
  8. Black and white rodent
  9. Sweet little child worthy of candy
  10. Person who is effectively taking your week’s paycheck in candy
  11. Chubby rodent
  12. Minimalist
  13. Nudist
  14. Trick or treater
  15. Rat who likes candy
  16. Not a dentist
  17. Not a nutritionalist
  18. Not your doctor
  19. Not your weight loss group leader
  20. A stranger
  21. The reason why you have a ton of moths in your house now
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The Cutest, Charmingest, Delightfulest, Beautifulest, Bestest, Sweetest, Funniest, Wittiest, Loveliest, Fascinatingest, Intelligentest, and Humblest Rat Ever!

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Look at this absolutely adorable little child of rat! She is so cute! Also, her name is Sinai, which means “The Bestest Rat.” (Look it up, it’s true. I’m not lying.) She is very beautiful, as you can clearly see (unless you are blind; in that case, I apologize for being politically incorrect), and she also smells good. (You will have to take my word for that.) Plus, she has a melodious voice that is soothing to the ear. Please ignore the strange white blur in the bottom left corner. I don’t know what happened. There must have been something wrong with the camera. However, I assure you, that is not Sinai’s ugly, disgusting, smelly, nasty, stinky, farting sister, Soigné, running away from her darling sister. Why would she ever do that? Sinai is a very kind and loving rat. She has never been mean or disrespectful to her sister, ever! Really! I she did not write this post, so anything about how “ugly, disgusting, smelly, nasty, stinky” Soigné is is not from her. Really. I am not kidding! Okay, now onto the situation of the white blur which really is not Soigné. I think it might be a ghost. Yeah, that’s probably it. It was training for Halloween. Of course, Soigné is so ugly that she scares little rat children everyday of the year, not just Halloween.

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How To Be Like Soigné Blight (Better Known As Sinai’s Pesky Sister)!

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Hi! I’m Soigné, the sister of Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything! I am definitely not Sinai pretending to be Soigné! Why would I she ever want to do that? I can’t honestly imagine why you would want to be like me (as in Soigné, not Sinai who, let me repeat, I am not), but, as you are still reading this I assume you actually do. (?!) Anyhow, read on to learn how to be a total schlemiel just like me! Oh, how exciting!

You have probably, at one point in your life, wanted to be someone other than yourself. Examples of rats who you probably have wanted to be would include Sinai the Great, Sinai Blight, or the Divine Ruler of Everything. However, there are many other rats who can want to be, even if you are not exactly sure why you’d want to be them. Soigné Blight is a very good example of such rats. She is annoying, pesky, a pain in the multi-colored tail, annoying, annoying, annoying, greasy, annoying, grimy, disgusting, annoying, dirty, nasty, gross, not soigné, annoying, annoying, annoying, annoying, irritating, annoying, and annoying– but for some reason, rats want to be like her. Who knew?

If you are suddenly wanting to be like Soigné for some strange reason, then you are in luck! Sinai has typed up this lovely and rather helpful guide just for you! Reading it will help you to achieve your crazy goal of being like Soigné (who is a terrible role model, BY THE WAY).

How To Be a Terrible Rat Just Like Soigné!

Before you continue, please ask yourself if you really want to be like Soigné. If you are not 100% sure, then you should not continue. If you are 100% sure that you really do want to be like Soigné, then you should probably go see your doctor.

Step 1. Roll around in a vat full of grease. It is important to be very greasy when you are imitating Soigné because she prides herself in the terrible condition of her straw-like fur.

Step 2. Dye your fur a disgusting shade of white and black (!! NOT BLACK AND WHITE !!). Be very careful not to get black and white, because that is not Soigné’s fur color.

Step 3. Adapt to have a nasally accent (or one that sounds like you have a nose full of boogers).

Step 4. Roll around in some more grease.

Step 5. Get a cute, funny, adorable, likeable, sweet, charming, delightful, soigné, black and white, beautiful, attractive, and kindly rat to be the Sinai to your Soigné. Bonus points if you are related to said rat.

Step 6. Reject baths, showers, cleanliness, and hygiene in general. If you are to be Soigné, you must be absolutely filthy!

Step 7. Read Soigné’s autobiography (I Am Not A Terrible Rat! by S. T. A. Blight) so you can think more like this disgrace to society.

Step 8. Thoroughly coat yourself with even more grease.

Step 9. Give up because no one can ever be as disgusting as Soigné is. And don’t forget to go to your doctor to have your brain checked!

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Who’s Your Favorite Rat?

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A Sinai Tale #1: The Most Beautiful Rat Ever

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful black and white rat with lustrous and soigné fur. She had glossy, dark eyes that everybody was jealous of, and her tail was beautifully multicolored. It was also very long and went great with her extremely large and super cute ears. Her face was so amazingly attractive that no one was able to see it without fainting. The name of this beautiful and adorable rodent was equally lovely and pleasing to one’s senses. (In case you are wondering, the rat was named “Sinai”.) Everyone was so astounded by the pulchritude of the black and white rat that they all got plastic surgery so they could look just like her. The end.

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