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Ask Sinai #5

Dear sinaI,

    sumTimes I was haved trubble Xpressing maiself 0nlin3 ok I no that i m not a vry gud speller. it dont Used to Be So Bad! but then idk wut happened, It Got Worse. now mY fr1ndz r hating on me & actuaLLy i dont h@ve any fr1ndz anymore :( Mai inability to Xpress myself online was Mildly Annoying but nao I kant even do it rite IRL. D: wut kan I do??!!! i’ve tried a c0unselor n it Didn’t Work. i have Tried practIcing riteing liek a N0rmal Person, butt it just aint in me !! ;_; i rly want 2 have fr1ndz Nao so pleese help me ! i kant live with the Knowledge That I Could Have Fr1ndz But I Am Unanble To Have Them. thnx i rly wanna be a gooder persun

I Have Trubble Xpressing Maiself

Dear Trubble,
I am sorry. I cannot read your letter. It is not even close to normal English (what is with all the numbers and random capitalization of random letters?!), and that’s the only language I can read. Well, I can also read Rodent. But you definitely did not write in Rodent. You wrote in what I would call “Bad English”, and, as a sophisticated rat, I am unable to process what you are trying to express. Did you even run this through spell check? It looks like you didn’t. Or maybe your spell check is screwed up. I would have someone look at it, if I were you (thankfully, I am not). Also, for your information, I am not a grammar teacher. From what I did get from your feeble attempt at a letter, you want me to help you write like a normal person (I want you to learn that, too!), and I am not certified to teach such subjects. To be honest, you could have sent that to anyone other than me, and they’d probably be more of a help than I could ever be. So, sorry to not answer your question, but I CAN’T HELP YOU WITH YOUR POOR ENGLISH SKILLS!! Thank you, and good-bye.

Sinai the Great

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