Tag Archives: orange tabby

The Difference An Angle Makes

Sometimes, Sinai reads magazines. And sometimes, when Sinai reads magazines, she sees pictures of obese model rats who are prime examples of gluttony. Whenever Sinai sees these pictures, she feels ashamed of herself for not being excessively and unhealthily fat like the model rats. Then she goes on a week of binge eating, only to the result of gaining one meagre pound after the seven days pass. After that, Sinai just doesn’t feel motivated to cookies made with pure trans fat into her mouth, so she ends up losing that pound she worked so hard to gain… a tragic loss.

Anyhow, Sinai always felt sad about how skinny she was compared to the delightfully chubby models and celebrities she always sees around. But then she discovered this very odd relation between the camera angle and how jiggly whoever is in the picture looks…

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Look at this cat model shot from a low angle. It looks so fat and roly poly, which makes me jealous of it. And look at that cool expression it is making! AGH! WHY CAN’T I MAKE THAT EXPRESSION?! I HATE YOU MODEL.

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Wow, that’s amazing! Here is a picture of the same cat from an above angle, and it looks so not fat and roly poly anymore! And instead of having a cool expression, it just looks grumpy. Okay model, I like you now.

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Olivia Thinks About The World

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Olivia loves to sit on the floor and think about the world. She does it quite often, in fact. Usually, she contemplates about an hour or so a day, but occasionally, she will just spend an entire day thinking about bigger things, like why her owners never give her dinner on time.

Once upon a time, there was a very beautiful cat named Olivia who liked to think about the world. Sometimes, she thought about pollution, global warming, and politics, but mostly, she wondered why humans decided to name the place “Earth.” Olivia thought that that had to be one of the grossest sounding words she had ever heard (after dog, canine, and barking maniac, of course), and she had always been confused as to why all of the incredibly advanced humans who possessed the magical power of THUMZ chose that disgusting and repulsive sounding word for the name of the very planet they lived on. Why didn’t they name the place something more euphonious like, hmm perhaps… Oliviatopia? Or maybe Cutegingercatland? Even Sweetandadorablefelineplanet would have been a better choice. No matter how many times Olivia tried to ask her humans this very complex and deep-thought-proving question, they never answered/gave her an answer. However, this very smart orange tabby did draw one conclusion from the unexisting responses of her dear human friends, which was that Cat-Jesus obviously had punished them all for giving Earth such a disgusting sounding name by removing their most special ability: their understanding of the melodious and soothing-to-the-ear cat language. What a shame.

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Olivia Lost Her Hairbrush!

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Olivia is having troubles finding her beloved hairbrush, which appears to have disappeared. She is sure she left it on her pillow when she last used it, but it is not to be found!

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What will Olivia do without her trusty hot pink hairbrush?! She hasn’t found it after searching for hours, and is feeling quite drpressed.
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How To Sit: As Written By Expert Sitter, Olivia Mewerly

I know it can be tough to sit. Sitting is so very, very hard. It is… quite challenging. I mean, you have to place your butt in a chair! That is so hard. Luckily, there are cats like me who are willing to teach less unfortunate cats/rats/people how to sit! I will even teach you how to sit in many different styles! Aren’t you lucky?! Don’t’ forget to thank me after you finish reading this informative article by sending me some delicious cat treats.

Method One: Sitting Like a Lady

Technically, I did not write this article. Some rat did. I forget what her name is. I think it is something like Sinner or something ’cause she is a very sinful rat. (She sneezes in my face all the time.) Anyways, here is a picture of me sitting like a lady.

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I look so good when I sit in this extremely proper way. Oh yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh….

Method Two: Looking Like You Are About To Mark Your Territory

Simply lie on your stomach and lift up your tail so it sticks up in the air. This works best when your but is right next to something that you might want to mark as your own.

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Yes, I know that is a painting of me in the background. It might seem weird that I want to mark that, but it’s a painting of me, you know.

Method Three: The Criss-Cross

Curl up like you are going to go to sleep. (You can go to sleep when you sit like this, but make sure you do that after you cross your legs.) Take your front legs and cross them over your back ones to form a plus sign. Ta da!

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Look at me! I’m asleep, and I’m still doing the Criss Cross! I’m such a clever cat. : 3

Method Four: Keep Your Tail From Flying Away

Tails are very important parts of our bodies. Sometimes, they fly away in the wind, but you don’t want that to happen to your tail. Therefore, you must keep a careful paw on your tail at all times so that it does not detach itself from your spine.

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I know that I am inside in this picture, but you know, houses have drafts. I don’t want to lose my tail.

Method Five: The Fashionista

You will look like you really care about fashion if you fall asleep with your furbrush sitting on top of you. Basically, you place your furbrush on you when you are awake, and then you fall asleep. While you are asleep, make sure to not move, or else you might kick it off of you, and then that would be so sad, wouldn’t it?

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My furbrush matches my beach towel with fish on it. Did I mention that I am a clever cat?

Method Six: I’m Being An Armadillo

This is a simple one. You curl up like you are going to fall asleep and then tuck your head into your body so that the silhouette of your body is pretty much an oval/circle.

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I am so circular in this picture. The only problem is that my ear is sticking out. Maybe I should get it folded so it doesn’t do that. Or maybe not. I don’t want to look like one of those ridiculous Scottish Folds.

Method Seven: The Paw Crimp

You must place your paws in front of your body to do this sit. It is actually quite easy. You can sit as awkwardly as it goes as long as you crimp your paws. Look at the picture of me below for ideas on how to crimp them.

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Make sure it looks physically impossible. Also, I am a clever cat. Did I already say that?

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Olivia Defines the Meaning of Life

What is the meaning of life? No one knows. Or at least, no one used to. Olivia Mewerly, who just so happens to be a cat, now says that she knows the answer to this tough question, and she is willing to share it.

So what is it? According to Olivia, the meaning of life is… catnip. When asked to elaborate, Olivia states, “I’m a cat, which means that I’ve lived way more lives than any of the humans out ther have. I’m on my seventh life now, and so far, the only thing in common between all my lives is catnip. Also that I have always been a cat. But everyone already knows that cats are the most important animals. However, the fact is that every time I have changed lives, I have kept onto my love of catnip. The other things come and go, but catnip is consistent. Also, the letters in ‘CATNIP’, or 3+1+20+14+9+16, add up to 63. 63 backwards is 36, and the square root of 36 is 6, which is the number of letters in ‘CATNIP’, which is PINTAC backwards, and pins and tacks hold everything together. Therefore, catnip is the meaning of life.”

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Pictured above: The historical moment that everybody has been waiting for since first life has come: the meaning of life has been discovered by none other than a cute cat reflecting on her past lives.

Some people (i.e. Dr. S. I. Naithegreat) have questioned Olivia’s thoughts on this question. (Dr. S. I. Naithegreat wonders if Olivia being a cat has put any bias into this answer. She personally thinks that the meaning of life has something more to do with worshipping cute, furry rats whose names start with ‘S’ and rhyme with ‘Tie Buy Fee Trait’, but that’s just her personal opinion.) However, most who have heard this sudden realization (which was not many up to now) have generally accepted it. Dr. S. Waunyay Iztoatilee-Ronnandnotsainuy, for example, has been quoted saying: “I believe Olivia. There’s absolutely no chance that she could be wrong. Not a single chance, nope.”

Olivia says that she is now spending her time figuring out the image of time and if there is really an afterlife/afterlives (for cats). Perhaps she will find an answer to yet anoth Iztoer one of life’s biggest questions in the future.

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Has Olivia Joined Soigné’s Evil Cause?

As you may already know, Sinai’s evil sister, Soigné, has started to recruit a secret army to ruin a world where happy multi-colored tails can exist in peace. Before, Sinai had been pretty sure that of all her friends, the only one who was involved with this dangerous plot to destroy life as we know it was Soigné (who does not really count because the only reason why Sinai even talks to her is because they are related). But now Sinai is not so sure. She isn’t sure, but she thinks that her cat friend, Olivia, may also be involved with Soigné’s vicious ways.

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Pictured above: a cat who could quite possibly be thinking of all the multi-colored tails she wants to destroy. (Which is messed up, as she has a multi-colored tail herself.)

Sinai hasn’t seen any solid evidence for this, but the picture above does show Olivia looking pretty evil. I mean, just look at that brooding expression on the feline’s face. It definitely could be a sign of Olivia turning to the dark side. Or it could also be a sign of her feeling very constipated and needing to prepare for the bomb that is about to explode. (Or she could be thinking of the literal bomb that she is going to explode.)

A ginger tabby staring at the camera.

And I thought that she was a nice kitty!

The problem with this is that Olivia herself has a multicolored tail. It is light orange with darker orange stripes and a white tip. It seems strange that a cat blessed with such a lovely tail would ever want to turn against her own kind. Unless she’s a traitor. Which is possible. But why? Why would a cat who was so lucky to have a beautiful tail that would be even nicer if it wasn’t so furry (and probably full of cat dandruff) suddenly not want it? Why would that very same cat want to destroy all others who had her tail type? WHY?

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Who knew that she hated her tail so much? Personally, I can understand not liking the fur part of it, but why in the world would she not like the amazing array of colors that is presented on her butt appendage?

What do you think? Is Olivia a traitor? Or is she just an innocent cat who looks really suspicious (but isn’t)? Pray do tell. Help Sinai out by voting below.

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