Tag Archives: plastic surgery

Eight Pictures of Sinai the Great’s Exceptionally Attractive and Very Beautiful Mouth (Complete With Teeth) PLUS An Exclusive Opportunity to Have a Mouth Just Like Sinai’s

Who knew? Sinai has an exceptionally attractive and very beautiful mouth (complete with teeth) that is sure to make you faint the first time you see it! (Note: You will not faint because it is ugly. You will faint because it is so lovely, and you cannot believe that such a delicate and pretty thing could ever exist.)  But what does this beauty of a mouth look like, exactly? Well look no further because below are eight pictures of the very same mouth that probably haunts all of your happiest dreams. (If you do not recall dreaming about Sinai’s dreamy, dreamy mouth, do not fret. A lot of rats have troubles with remember what they dream about. It is very likely that you have dreamed about Sinai’s teeth before, but you just can’t remember the delightful experience, which is a pity because it was probably the best thing that will ever happen to you.)


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In this picture, you can clearly see Sinai’s beautiful teeth that everyone is jealous of and wishes to have. Sadly, they are not for sale. Although, if you are interested in having a mouth like Sinai’s, you should scroll down a little further.

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Here, you can see your favorite Divine Ruler of Everything posing with her mouth open. You can also see a vicious rat whose name we cannot say nor write (due to the curse that is set upon anyone who says it) in the purple plastic rat igloo in the background, but it is easier to ignore it.

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Sinai is very good at climbing cage bars, as you can see. She is also very good at having an attractive rat mouth.

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Here is a close-up on the best thing since Sinai was born. (After her beautiful dumbo ears, of course.)

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Sinai is clearly very good at posing with her mouth open. Either that, or someone is very good at timing pictures to catch Sinai at just the right moments. (It is more likely to be the first option, though.)

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She is also highly skilled in the area of climbing on cage bars and shaking her head back and forth. What a lovely sight. I am so envious of that wonderful rat mouth of hers.

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From this angle, you can also see a close up of Sinai’s mouth, and even her dainty nostrils! What an exciting sight to behold! (Not only that, but you can also gaze upon her delightful dumbo ears and her fantastic and very sensitive whiskers that you often dream about.)

Sinai 072Here is Sinai and her lovely mouth again. Unfortunately, her beautiful mouth that makes rats all around the world faint from the shock of being able to see it happens to be in the same picture as that very same rat whose name we could not mention earlier (or now). It is a tragedy, indeed, but Sinai does not mind it, as you can clearly see that she is fighting the evil nuisance whose name must remain unspoken. We can assume that she won the fight as she is a very skilled warrior who has not lost a single battle yet.


If you would like a mouth just like Sinai’s very own stunning beauty, you are in luck! Call (123) LUV SISI any time from now to the end of eternity to receive an exclusive discount on a new mouth that looks exactly like Sinai’s! (It is made out of a very weak plastic that will probably dissolve from all your saliva in a month, but it is worth dishing out the money because Sinai has a beautiful mouth, and you know you want a beautiful mouth too.) The mouth itself costs $999,999.99, and once you get your mouth, you must find a certified surgeon to install your new body part. (We suggest Dr. S. I. Naithegreat, but you can also use Dr. Ianis Izzadochter, or Dr. Tae R. Gehtianis. They are all approved to perform the procedure.) Depending on which doctor you end up using, the surgery may cost between 1-10 (billion) dollars. As you can see, this is a very cheap procedure to go through to get your new mouth.

taylorswiftratmouth“It feels like a perfect night to get a new mouth/And look so happy/Ah ah, ah ah/It feels like a perfect day for plastic surgery/To love my new mouth/Ah ah, ah ah.”

 See?! Even Taylor Swift wants a new mouth by Sinai.* And doesn’t she look so happy to have her brand new mouth? I think she does. If you want to be fashionable, believe me, a rat mouth is exactly what you want. Call (123) LUV SISI right now to get a mouth that looks just like your favorite Divine Ruler of Everything’s!

* Taylor Swift did not really get a rat mouth. But that does not mean that you shouldn’t get one! In fact, buy a couple so that all of your friends can have them too! They will really thank you.

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A Sinai Tale #6: The Water Battle

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Once upon a time, there was a very thirsty rat. Her name was Ratalise, and she looked just like Sinai the Great. (She looked like the esteemed ruler because she had dyed her fur and gotten plastic surgery to look like her.) She had not drunk any water for twenty-three minutes, and she knew if she went any longer without being hydrated, she would die and never be heard from again. As Ratalise did not see any glasses of water near to her, she assumed that she would not be living to see another day. Sadly, she accepted her tragic fate and decided to say her last words.

“I love Sinai the Great. She is the world’s best leader ever, and she is very attractive. Also, she is intelligent, cute, soft, kindly, smart, charming, funny, pretty, witty, humorous, and humble,” said the sad and resigned rat. “I just wish I could have met her before I die of dehydration, that’s all.”

Suddenly, a loud and very soothing voice boomed out from the sky. “I am Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything! You may not have known this, but I have the ability to grant wishes to other less fortunate beings, and me being the kindly and generous rat I am, I will grant you one wish,” said the pleasing voice of the best universal leader ever. “What do you desire, small and lowly subordinate who I have chosen to have a wish granted by me, only the most kind, lovely, generous, selfless, and nice rat ever to be alive? Please make it quick, as I have a spa appointment in fifteen minutes that is very urgent and must be attended.”

Ratalise was so surprised she almost fainted. It had been her life dream to meet Sinai the Great in rat, but she had not expected her heroine to grant one of her wishes. As her greatest wish, to meet Sinai the Great, had been granted, Ratalise was unsure as to what she wanted. She did not want to turn down the very generous offer Sinai the Great had offered her, as Ratalise was very grateful to Sinai for offering a wish, and she wanted to show it. After pondering what she wanted for a few minutes, the small and thirsty rat finally announced what she desired to be granted. “O greatest Sinai the Great, you are a very generous and kindly rat. Thank you very much for offering to grant a wish of mine. I will be eternally grateful, and because of this, I will name my first, second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, and ninth ratlings after you. I spent a very large time asking myself what I desire most, as I do not want to waste your precious and valuable time on frivulous items, and I have finally come to a conclusion. The thing I would like most in the world is a well right here and right now so that I will not die from dehydration. If you could be so kind as to grant my single wish, I would be very happy and build you a temple of the ages to be worshipped in.”

“Hmmm…” said the great voice of the awe-inspiring Divine Ruler of Everything. “I don’t know if I can do a well, but I can give you a water bottle.”

“Oh, thank you!” cried the eternally grateful Ratalise as a bottle of water fell from the sky. “You have saved my life! I will never forget what you have done for me!”

Excited, Ratalise began to open her bottle of spring water. It was warm, but it was water. She wouldn’t be dying all alone of dehydration after all! She had just cracked open her bottle of water when another rat appeared.

Ratalise quickly analyzed the new rodent. She was definitely not anyone Ratalise knew, but she looked vaguely familiar. The rat was a dirty white with a black head and the dingiest looking tail ever. (It didn’t help that the tail was just one color and not multicolored like most great rodents’ are.) “Um…hello? Who are you?” asked Ratalise, wanting to know who the mystery rat was.

Flashing pristine white teeth (another sign that the rat was probably not very nice), the rodent introduced herself. “I am Siognè, an equally-evil clone. Now give me your water bottle. I desire a drink of warm water.”

“Well first of all, you are not getting my bottle of water. It is a gift from a very distinguished rat, and I do not wish to part with it. And secondly, who are you an equally-evil clone of?” inquired Ratalise while tightly clutching her water bottle. She did not Siognè, whoever she was the equally-evil clone of, to take her gift from Sinai the Great. If that did happen, Ratalise would die not only because of dehydration, but of depression as well.

“You’ll never guess!” cackled the evil rodent as she snatched Ratalise’s bottle of water and darted off.

“Noooooooooo!” cried Ratalise. Not wanting to die, she darted off in pursuit of the evil Siognè. “Give it back, you ! Give it back!”

Siognè had a head start, and she ran faster than Ratalise could, so she was quickly escaping along with the present Ratalise had received from her heroine. It was positively heartbreaking to see, and Ratalise might never have seen her water bottle again if someone had not been watching.

A rat from had a distance had watched the chase go one as she got ready for a relaxing day at the spa. She would not have done anything if the rats had not gotten so close to her living room window. When they had neared it, she realized she knew the rat who was chasing the one holding the bottle of water.

She also recognized the one with the water bottle.

With a sigh, she resigned herself to being late to her appointment, and she stepped outside.

“Stop, equally-evil clone of Soigné! I do not recall which one you are, as my sister has many, but you must drop the water bottle immediately and return it to the inferior subordinate rat chasing you, or you shall face the wrath of SINAI!” shouted Sinai the Great.

“I will never return this bottle of wa–” replied the equally-evil clone, Siognè, only to be zapped by Sinai’s EverydaySoigné™ Gun and disintegrate into miscroscopic particles immediately.

At first, Ratalise was exhausted from sprinting for such a long time. Then she was shocked at seeing Siognè immediately disintegrate. Finally, she was very grateful to Sinai the Great for saving her from the evil villain who had stolen her water bottle. “Oh, I don’t know what to say, Sinai the Great! I don’t think I will ever be able to repay you for all that you have done for me. You are truly a great rat,” squeaked Ratalise.

Sinai, being five minutes late to her spa appointment, quickly dismissed Ratalise. “Don’t bother, small subordinate rodent whose life and water bottle I have saved and who is eternally grateful to me for the good and irrepayable deeds I have done. Helping you was your payment,” boomed the great and honorable rodent. Then she snapped her fingers for a taxi to go to the spa.

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A Sinai Tale #5: Why You Should Take Any Siblings to the Mental Asylum as Soon as You Spot the Signs of Mental Disease Setting In (by guest author, King Negev, Boss of You, Ruler of the World, & Master of the Universe)

Please note: THIS IS A TRUE STORY. Thanks, and have a negevly day.

Once upon a time, there was a cute, rather large, tan-and-white (not the same as white-and-tan), attractive, silky, chubby, regal, handsome, soigné, charming, likable, sweet, kindly, plump, jiggly, clean, intelligent, lovable, smart, and humble genius of rat who unfortunately lived with his annoying, white-and-tan, crusty, greasy, and stinky brother. The tan-and-white rat was a king named Negev. He ruled the kingdom of Negevland. His brother (the white-and-tan one) was named Mojave. He was a servant in Negev’s castle.
Negev was a good king with a cute pink tail. All the citizens in his kingdom (population 126) loved him and never wanted him to leave. He was very kind and made sure none of his beloved subjects ever had to see his brother’s face, as he knew from personal experience that it caused nightmares and permanent mental scarring.
Mojave was a very cruel rat. He had sharp, pointy, unflossed teeth and a really bad case of halitosis. He never groomed his fur, which was why it was so greasy and straw-like. Also, his tail, instead of a sweet and charming rosy-pink, was a gross crusty dark brown. It was really quite unattractive, and Mojave never made an effort to cover it up.
Perhaps it was this gross and unappealing tail that caused Mojave to do what he ended up doing to his brother, the good and beloved king. Most rats in his place would have gotten plastic surgery to adjust the pigments in his tail, but Mojave was too cheap for plastic surgery. Besides, he wasn’t unhappy enough with the way he looked to go under the knife. Instead, he just wanted to take out his anger on some innocent soul (id est, his brother). And he didn’t want to just yell and scream furiously at Negev… no, he wanted more.
It all happened one fine air-conditioned day. Negev was playing with Mojave, even though it was against the rules of society and all of Negev’s kingly instincts to frolick with a lowly servant (even if they were related). Luckily (or unluckily), no one was there to see him degrade himself to the level of a lowly and smelly servant. The two brothers had been leaping on the furniture across the royal chambers. Because he was very agile, Negev found it easy to fly across the silk pillows and custom-made pawstools. Mojave, however, was used to grovelling on the floors and cleaning the latrines, so he was nowhere near Negev’s easy gliding way when it came to leaping across furniture. Angered even more, the ungrateful and cruel white-and-tan rat started to feel a need to carry out his wicked and vicious plan.
“Negev will want to marry my ‘crusty brown’ tail by the time I finish my plan,” said the evil and rather menacing rat, thinking of his very violent and messed-up plan.
Fueled by his demonic desires, Mojave saw the perfect opportunity arise just as he turned aroound in time to see Negev leaping off from a particularily low-seated wicker chair imported from Peru. Mojave chuckled normally (which, for him, was an evil cackle) and rushed forth.
“Hey Gevvy!” shouted the two-faced rat. “Nice moves! Your tail gives you great balance. I wonder what would happen if you didn’t have one, though.”
“Ayo, Momo,” replied the soaring rat. “I honestly don’t know. Good thing no one’s chopping off my tail anytime soon.”
With an evil glint in his eye, Mojave simply responded, “Or are they?” before jumping as high as he was able into the air and chomping down on his brother’s tail. “I’m sorry,” he said while sinking his teeth into the base of the beloved king’s tail. “I think I mispoke. I meant to imply that I was going to bite your tail, not chop it off.”
Negev wanted to say a lot of things, like how Mojave was definitely not getting a pay raise ever again, or how if Mojave had wanted to bite someone’s tail off, why not his own crusty brown one? However, the only thing he was able to get out of his vocal chords was “OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!! THAT HURT ME TAIL REAL BAD!” He was in excruciating pain, and he knew he would probably die of blood loss and traitoroussiblingitis if someone did not find and help him. Mojave had already slunk away after biting Negev’s royal tail a couple more times, and the king was pretty sure it wasn’t to get help or even a little bandage, so it was just Negev alone for now. He sat in the empty royal chambers, wondering if someone would ever find him.


Negev eventually was rescued by his grandnanny, who had been near the royal chambers when she heard his shrill shriek. She rushed him to the Very Excellent Treaters Hospital (or V. E. T. Hospital), where he recieved four stitches for his tail, which never really healed. All the rest of his life, he had to live with an awful scar on his otherwise perfect pink tail. It almost made him jealous of Mojave’s gross, smelly, crusty, greasy, chunky, poop-colored, yet unscarred tail, but he still prefered his.

As for Mojave, he got put in jail, and was never allowed to be in the same room as Negev again. (Which made cleaning Negev’s room hard, but it was worth Negev’s safety.)

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A Sinai Tale #1: The Most Beautiful Rat Ever

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful black and white rat with lustrous and soigné fur. She had glossy, dark eyes that everybody was jealous of, and her tail was beautifully multicolored. It was also very long and went great with her extremely large and super cute ears. Her face was so amazingly attractive that no one was able to see it without fainting. The name of this beautiful and adorable rodent was equally lovely and pleasing to one’s senses. (In case you are wondering, the rat was named “Sinai”.) Everyone was so astounded by the pulchritude of the black and white rat that they all got plastic surgery so they could look just like her. The end.

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