Tag Archives: Püpey™

Stop being naked!

Do you ever sometimes feel like your tail is just a little… naked? Well I know for a fact that you have. Don’t even try denying it, because you know it’s the truth. Tails are so overlooked in fashion these days. I mean, you can get fake tail coverings, but those just make your naked tail look like another naked tail, which is kind of not okay, especially if you are trying to stop being so naked on your tail. Well, lucky for you, SinaiByootie INC. (run by your favorite rat, Sinai) has created an accessory that goes on your tail and makes your tail stop looking so naked. It’s called… The Tayill Reen™!

happysinai

What you look like before you get The Tayill Reen™: somewhat happy, but not nearly as happy as you could possibly be, as your tail is suffering the sad fate of being NAKED while the rest of you is obviously fully clothed. (Note: you are probably not this beautiful, nor will you ever be, as you are not Sinai the Great, and no one else in the world is nearly as beautiful as her.)

The Tayill Reen™ is a handy little ring that you slip onto your tail. (DUH!) All you have to do to prevent yourself from losing it is keep your tail sticking up in the air all day long and NEVER LET IT FALL TO THE GROUND, AS YOUR TAYILL REEN™ MIGHT JUST ROLL RIGHT OFF, AND YOU’D NEVER NOTICE UNTIL EVERYONE WAS LAUGHING AT YOU FOR HAVING A NAKED TAIL. That is very easy, though, and it is definitely worth tiring your tail muscles so that you do not have to walk around with a naked tail until you can find yours/buy a new one. (In case you are wondering, Sinai tried to make a no-slip Tayill Reen™, but the spikes that she inserted inside the ring ended up causing the test subject– who was not in any way related to Sinai, even distantly– some minor pain. Sinai did not want to cause her customers pain, no matter how minor, so therefore she pulled the ring. She did, however, let her test subject– who was still not even distantly related to Sinai– keep the ring if she wanted.)

The Tayill Reen™ also comes in a multitude of beautiful colors. For example, you can get it in the signature siPawlisshe color, Püpey™, or you can get it in a cool new color, which is called DharckPüpey™ (which is like Püpey™, only darker). The Tayill Reen™ even comes in some fun and peppy patterns– there’s stripes, dots, plaid, little Sinai heads, camo, gingham, paisley, check, scales, and more! (Patterns are available in both Püpey™ and DharckPüpey™ and in a unique color that is only available in patterns known as PhaydidPüpey™, which is like Püpey™, only faded.) Also, there are different finishes to the different colors (not included PhaydidPüpey™) if you don’t want a pattern, but you don’t want a plain color, either. You can get either of the two colors in sparkle, matte finish, textured, iridescent, or with Sinai’s fur in the ring (note: getting Sinai’s fur will cause the price to increase a little). But that’s not all! If you are the Divine Ruler of Everything, you can get The Tayill Reen™ in pink/purple/maroon/red/coral/orange/yellow/lime/green/turquoise/blue/indigo/24 karat gold/sterling silver (with or without patterns/special finish)! (If you are not, then you are not allowed to have fun somewhat more interesting and less barfy colors.)

3amazingcolors

Yes, these look slightly barfy. However, that does not mean that they are not also trendy. Just think of how great they would go with that booger hanging out of your nostril.

When you get The Tayill Reen™, you will feel suddenly lighter, as if you are no longer held down by the burden that your naked tail has been to your life. You haven’t noticed how heavy it is, since you have never lived without this boulder on your shoulders, or rather, your butt, but when you are suddenly relieved of it, you will be amazed at how great you feel. And who wouldn’t like to healthier and younger? Exactly!

toering

This is you after you get your Tayill Reen™. Notice how much happier you are. Also, you are positively radiant and crying tears of joy. What a lovely sight. (Note: This is not really you. This is actually Sinai the Great, in case you suddenly thought that you were close to as beautiful as Sinai is. No illusions of grandeur for you.)

Are you convinced yet? Call (123) LUV SISI to order your inexpensive Tayill Reen™ today! You won’t regret your purchase, I guarantee it! (Costs: $999.99 plain, $1999.99 pattern, $2599.99 special finish, $5999.99 Sinai’s fur special finish, $0 if you are the Divine Ruler of Everything.)

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Happy Dearest NaiNai Day!

image

Ever wonder what to do on the best holiday in June to honor the rat for which it was created? If you have, a really good idea would be to paint your nails/claws a beautiful color like, say… PÜPEY!! It is an amazing color, and believe me, all of your will love it. At first, you mighg not be immediately attracted to this timeless color, but as you wear it, you will realize why this shade is such a classic. Call (123) LUV SISI now to buy up to 100 bottles of Püpey (sadly, we cannot ship more than a hundred bottles of siPawlisshe at once). Believe me, the dearest NaiNai would definitely support your decision to purchase this amazing polish.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

A Sinaiday Approaches…

Well it’s that time of month again. And when I say that, I mean that it’s the time of month when it’s time to get out your SinaiSüts™ and start partying because it’s time for yet another Sinaiday! Woo hoo! It seems like the last one (Sinai’s birthday) was only a month ago… which it actually was! Ha ha ha!

“But what?” you say. “What is the approaching Sinaiday that I will gladly celebrate? And when does it occur? I have not marked it down in my portable SinaiKalinder™ (preorder a twelve month 2012 one for $999.99 by calling (123) LUV SISI), so do tell. I anticipate your answer.”

001

“Don’t worry, stressed out readers. I, Soigné the Very Helpful and Not At All Annoying and Pesky Rodent*, will make sure you know all of the details before the end of this post. (NO THANKS TO YOU, SINAI.)”

Well just in case you were wondering (even though I am pretty sure you, without a doubt, were), the upcoming Sinaiday is Dearest NaiNai Day, and it is on June 9th, which is in five days. This means you have a solid five days to prepare for a huge party and buy a ton of new SinaiSüts™ and other products by Sinai so that your guests can feel like they are loved when you shower them with Sinai brand gifts. (Sinai recommends a lovely bottle of Pupey™ siPawlisshe™. It is a very nice color that goes with everything. If you don’t know what it looks like, click this link.) Not only that, but your support for Sinai’s many beautiful and lovely items will help her financial situation out a lot. And you know you can’t resist helping other rats out with their financial situations.

But anyways, make sure to save the date. How awful would it be if you completely missed one of the best days of the year just because you were too lazy to write down three words in your SinaiKalinder™? Really awful, right? And you don’t want to feel really awful on a day like that.

*this is a lie

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

BREAKING NEWS: Soigné’s Evil Plot to Ruin the Tails OF THE WORLD Revealed (not yet confirmed)

Please Note: The following story includes pictures of rats without colorful tails. If you have a weak stomach, you may want to refrain from this very graphic story. If you are okay with reading about and viewing one color tails, you may continue.

image

Soigné attempts to endear others by sleepily stating an ego-booster that might not be quite true for the axe murderer she just saw rob a bank and steal a child’s candy (who she did not stop). It still doesn’t distract from the lack of different colors on her butt appendage.

As you may know, Sinai has a sister. Sinai loves her sister very much. Sinai tries to think of Soigné, her beloved sister, as a good rat, but Soigné doesn’t try very hard to prove Sinai right. Sinai has repeatedly asked her darling sibling to not act so creepy and disturbing around Sinai’s equally beloved and darling subjects, but Soigné either can’t stop having a disturbing one color tail (which is what makes her so creepy and unappealing)… or she doesn’t want to stop. (We suspect the latter.) Because of this, no one in Sinai’s entire large and very vast kingdom wants anything to do with the Divine Ruler’s sister. Which is sad because Soigné really is a good rat once you get past her unusual tail.

image

Just look at that disgusting tail. I can’t even look at it for more than ten seconds without puking. (Note: The tail I am talking about is the lighter, less colorful one. Not the very attractive multi-colored one.)

Unfortunately, Soigné also seems unable to acknowledge the fact that multi-colored tails are hot this season, and that the last time boring tails like her own were popular was in freaking 2012. (Which was very long ago, as you all know.) Because of this, she makes disturbing, controversial, scandalous, and questionable comments about tails. Often, she remarks about the “ridiculousness” of the multi-colored tail (which is actually the point of high fashion) and makes excuses for why she can’t dye her tail, wear a tail-covering over her own, or just get plastic surgery to have it changed to be more appealing. Sinai has even offered to give her a full 1% discount on some siPawlisshe™ so that Soigné can paint her tail pretty colors (like Pupey™). (Naturally, Soigné refused the very kind and generous offer.) Because of the fact that Soigné is so unwilling to change to be more fashionable, we can only conclude one thing: Soigné wants the world to change to be more unfashionable.

Now, I know this is very hard to understand, but there is logic involved. Sinai explains it to us in a quote.

“My sister does not want to change her tail to be more appealing to society. She is too lazy to do that. Instead, she wants society to change to be more appealing to her tail. Most likely, she has created a secret army of rats who all have tails of one color. She will probably attack soon. This is why I have increased the defense spending from .001% of the budget to .002%. I really hope this will help save us from my sister.”

Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything (in an interview for Lulu Imnotlyingson’s Accurate Reading, or L.I.A.R.)

We can only hope that Soigné secret army is very small and not at all powerful. (And that they are very bad about keeping secrets.) Sinai says that any rats found to be in it will be tried for treason and fashion crimes (if they turn themselves in, they will only be charged with fashion crimes, and if they have juicy information on Soigné’s little army of traitors, then they will only have to go to court for minor outfit infringements). However, there is no knowing what might happen, so cross your paws and be glad that you were born with a multi-colored tail.


Answer to A Very Brief Quiz: There is no answer. If you answered it, then you failed.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Nail Polish By Sinai

Ever wanted some great looking nail polish to impress all of your friends with? Don’t say “no”, you know you have! After all, having pretty nails is how you become popular in this day and age! And the easiest way to get great nails/claws is to buy only the best nail polish from only the most esteemed line of beauty products – siPawlisshe™ by SinaiByootie INC., the same company who brought you SinaiWightte™ and SinaiBlaak™ fur dyes! siPawlisshe™ comes in 125, 373, 282 great, affordable colors* to decorate your claws with. Tested on real rats**, these awesome colors are just what you want. No matter what you’re feeling, there’s always a color to express yourself***! Get rid of your boring, naturally-colored, healthy nails! Replace them with interesting and funky-colored claws that everyone will be jealous of.

image

Pupey™ is just one of the very attractive and fun colors made just for you by siPawlisshe™. Your friends will be so jealous when you show off your classy looking nails.

siPAWLISSHE™ COSTS ONLY $12345678.90 PER 14 ml. BOTTLE! BUY ALL THE COLORS BEFORE THEY’RE GONE! CALL (123) LUV SISI TO ORDER RIGHT NOW!


* Only two colors are available for commoners (Pupey™ & Klierre™). Please become a universal leader if you would like to access the 125, 373, 280 colors. :)
** siPawlisshe™ tested on Soigné Blight (definitely not Sinai the Great’s sister) for reactions to colors. Soigné was not in anyway blackmailed into liking all the colors. She really likes them.
*** You must buy all the colors in order to express yourself properly. Don’t worry, they’re very affordable.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
%d bloggers like this: