Tag Archives: Sinai the Great Divine Ruler of Everything

A Little Notice

Sinai Vacation

Sinai having a BLAST on vacation while you are having a horribly boring time at home. This image was not edited at all.

I’m going to be gone for approximately the next fortnight, so there will be no posts for about that amount of time. (Maybe a little less, maybe a little more.) I do have a couple already scheduled, but that’s it.

~ Anna

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Sinai’s Big, Beautiful Belly

As you probably all know, Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything, has a very nice sized stomach. It is pleasantly plump, but not so big that it distracts from Sinai’s equally beautiful face that everyone loves to look at (all day, every day). Not only that, but it is a different color than the rest of her body. Also, there is a little black spot on it, and that is extremely cute. (Soigné, Sinai’s demented sister, also has a little black spot on her tummy. It is actually slightly bigger than Sinai’s, but it doesn’t count because Soigné is not a real rat. She is a blood-sucking demon from the underworld dressed in a rat costume.) The sad thing is, not many people have seen this lovely belly of Sinai. It is hard for Sinai to show off her tummy, as it is rather inconveniently placed so that whenever she does pretty much any normal action, her chubby abdomen is hidden. This is very tragic because Sinai really does have a very attractive belly. Luckily, we were able to find some nice pictures of Sinai’s delightful tummy so that you are able to fully appreciate the Divine Ruler of Everything and all her great features.

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Please ignore the killer demon lurking in the background. Instead, focus on the cute black and white rat in the foreground, who is not only more attractive, but also a happier and less depressing subject.

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Sinai is very good at dancing, as you can obviously see. Thankfully, there is no evil demon rodent in this picture. Thank Sinai the Great! I hate seeing beautiful photos of Sinai being ruined by some rude and very impolite rat demon who doesn’t even have enough respect to move out.

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Sinai has such an amazing paw. But she has an even more amazing belly, no?

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What did you say? This is not Sinai’s belly? What are you talking about? This is a close up of it. It’s totally not, like… the sky, or something. Definitely. What would ever make you think that?

A white and black rat who is actually pretty cute drinking some water.

Now this is definitely not Sinai’s tummy. No, it is the evil Soigné showing off her miserable excuse for a belly. Ugh. She can’t even drink water the right way. Doesn’t she know you’re supposed to tilt your head upside down?

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Ask Sinai #9

Dear Sinai,
You are an okay rat. I mean, you are a nice rat, but you are pretty average. I am also a very average rat. I am not exceptionally smart, funny, or talented. I was wondering how you somehow managed to become a very successful rat despite your averageness. I do not think I am destined to be big and famous like you, but I do want to live a successful life. Can you give me tips?

– Plain Old Ordinary Priscilla Bucket

Dear P.O.O.P Bucket,
Let me establish one fact before I continue: I AM NOT AN AVERAGE RAT. I am an extraordinarly witty, cute, funny, funny, smart, funny, kind, funny, adorable, attractive, funny, beautiful, exceptional, stellar, outstanding, kind, cute, hilarious, funny, funny, soigné, remarkable, poetic, funny, intelligent, kind, funny, divine, funny, graceful, gracious, funny, lovable, funny, wonderful, magical, wonderful, funny, attractive, charming, delightful, kind, funny, delightful, humble, and non-repetitive rat. I am in no way average. I don’t know what would ever make you think that that awful word could ever describe the Divine Ruler of Everything. Obviously, you are mentally diseased. I recommend you find a qualified doctor to help you find a cure (if any) to your mental illness. I believe Dr. S. I. Naithegreat, my dearest doctor friend, would be very good at helping you. She can be contacted by calling (123) LUV SISI. Now, onto your question. As you are mentally ill, I do not believe you would be able to understand any answers if I wrote them, so therefore I will not bother. Besides, insulting the most important rat alive pretty much ruins any chances you have of a successful life. I have friends in higher places than you (but lower than me).

– Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything

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Sinai Explains Why She and Her Sister, Soigné, Sometimes Cuddle Up Together in a Loving Way & Quote$ #10

Sinai Blight, also known as the world’s most beloved rat ever, has always insisted that she absolutely detests her sister, Soigné. However, photos that Soigné accidentally uploaded online recently (and later deleted, but not before the damage to Sinai was done) tell a different story.

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Sinai snuggles up to her sister in an almost loving manner. It makes you wonder.

These photos show Soigné resting her head upon Sinai in a loving gesture and Sinai not resisting at all. If Sinai really loathed her sister as much as she says she does, wouldn’t she have shoved her off? And wouldn’t she have not let anyone take a picture of her in a position that showed her sisterly love? Well obviously, Sinai did neither of those things.

So why is Sinai letting her sister rest her “grimy head” (as Sinai once said) on a body that belongs to the most powerful universal ruler around? We asked Sinai this very question, and here is how she answered.

“I don’t really feel any affection for my sister, even if it looks like that. I mean, yes, I am allowing her to place her lowly, germy, and quite hollow head on my divine and ever precious body, and yes, I am not resisting, and yes, I did let someone take a picture of me in that degrading and embarrassing position, but: a.) I was asleep, therefore I was not aware of the photographer, b.) Soigné, despite being very ugly, weighs a ton (still only 20% of my body weight, by the way), and it was like a sack of bricks had been placed upon my lovely and very valuable body, which immobilized me, and c.) my cage is very small and cramped, which leaves no other places to sleep.”

Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything

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Sinai’s very cramped cage that has absolutely no space for her to sleep without her hefty sister leaning on her.

So what do you think? Do you believe Sinai when she says that she had no options other than sleeping with her awful sister next to her, or do you think she might actually feel love for her sister?

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A Wonderful Day To Celebrate Your Unending Love for Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything

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Pictured above: Soigné being a pain in the royal face by inserting herself into a picture that has absolutely nothing to do with her and everything to do with Sinai, aka the rat who she is forcing into the background.

What to do on The International Day of Sinai

It’s another day in the year of 2013, but this is no ordinary day. No, it is The International Day of Sinai, which is a fabulous day everybody celebrates because they love Sinai so very, very much. Sinai is not internationally beloved for no reason. So, what should you do for the remainder of this extraordinary day? Did you click that link above? Obviously not if you’re still reading this. Well, what are you doing?! There are temples to build and anonymous gifts of gold bars to deliver!

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Ask Sinai #8: An Interview With an Internationally Beloved Rat Who Everyone Loves and Admires

Sinai Blight: Hi there! I’m Sinai Blight, here tonight with an interview with none other than the internationally beloved rat who everyone loves and admires, Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything! We are very privileged, blessed, grateful, and lucky to have this awesome rat here tonight. So, Sinai, how goes it?

Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything: I’m feeling very sinailicious today, Sinai! I am so pleased to be here. I really like your fur color. What is it?

SB: It’s a classic, black and white. I absolutely love it. It is so much more stylish and attractive than that gruesome white and black that so many rats accidentally wear when they’re really going for black and white.

STGDROE: I agree. My sister, Soigné, has white and black fur. It is atrocious and makes my eyes bleed each time I look at it for more than nine seconds. I can understand why rats mistake it for black and white, though. They think that the order of words doesn’t matter when it comes to color names when, really, it is of the utmost importance.

SB: Quite true. For example, everyone knows that red-orange and orange-red get different crayons, so why shouldn’t black and white and white and black be different?

STGDROE: Exactly! I’ve always thought the same!

SB: it’s almost like we had the same brain! [does a chuck-o] However, we can’t share the same face! Yours is stunning. I wish I had it.

STGDROE: Why, thank you, Sinai! I do enjoy my face. [does a chuck-o as well] Yours is pretty nice for a rat who isn’t me. It looks a lot like that of my dear friend, Ianis Th’glib.

SB: Thank you! Ianis has a lovely face. It kind of looks like yours, only it’s not yours, so it just isn’t the same. You know, some rats think that is Ianis is just you pretending to be another rat to look more popular! What do you think of that, O Noble One?

STGDROE: It’s poppycock, I say. Why would I ever do that? So what if her name backwards happens to be mine? So what if we haven’t ever been seen publicly in the same room? So what if she looks a lot like me? So what if her voice is as soothing as mine is? So what if her birthday is 9/5 and mine is 5/9? She and I are completely different individuals. I really wish rats would stop spreading that rumor around. I love Ianis, but I am not her. As Paula Deen would say, “I is what I is”… and she be what she be.

SB: I completely believe you. The only reason I asked you that is because my cruel indentured servant rodent, Soigné, threatened to stop working for me if I did not mention it. Luckily, she did not force me to fake-believe it.

STGDROE: Yes. If there is anyone out there who has never had a cruel indentured servant rodent blackmail them, why don’t you just pick up that large pebble and throw it so hard so that it causes my evil indentured servant rodent (coincidentally also named Soigné, it must be a common name) to become an amnesiac and forget all about wanting to be a vicious indentured servant rodent? [breaks down in practiced fake tears]

SB: I would, but I am not sure my aim is very good, and besides, I have had a cruel indentured servant rodent blackmail me. Although, I do wish you luck. And, it is strange that both of our indentured servant rodents are named Soigné. We certainly aren’t the same rat, so they couldn’t be the same Soigné… unless she had a second job?

STGDROE: That’s ridiculous. Mine can hardly do her first. I think that Soigné has just become the default name for malicious indentured servant rodents due to the fact that I am very popular, and therefore, rats know about my wicked indentured servant rodent and want to acknowledge their love for me by naming their own rotten indentured servant rodents after me. My name, however, is too precious to waste on a vile indentured servant rodent, so obviously, everyone has chosen to use my lowly sister’s name. I do not blame them.

SB: How interesting. Say, how is your sister doing? Is she warming up to working for you?

STGDROE: Sadly, no. Which is unfortunate, as her twenty-year anniversary of being my indentured servant rodent is approaching. In fact, she has taken to, instead of tidying, ruining my rooms. I appointed some rat off the street to watch her and make sure she doesn’t steal anything while I’m here, but he only would watch her for a little time. Oh! Looks like I’m going to leave now. I don’t want her to start trashing the entertainment wing.

SB: I understand. Well, goodbye for then.

STGDROE: Goodbye. You really are a nice rat. You could almost be me.

SB: Yes, but I’m obviously not! [does a litt-o chuck-o] Goodbye, Sinai Blight.

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The International Day of Sinai

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What’s coming up in less than a week? Obviously a Sinaiday. (And a celebratory day for Negev, but you’ll hear that when it occurs.) And what Sinaiday is this? None other than the International Day of Sinai, which, as we all know, will be celebrated world wide by everyone because Sinai is an internationally beloved rat.

The International Day of Sinai (on July 9th) is a great day to show Sinai just how internationally beloved she is. I mean, she already has an idea of just how much everyone loves her by the the fact that whenever she steps out in public, huge crowds of fans gather around her to get her pawtograph, but she doesn’t know just how much she is internationally beloved. There’s no number to put on it. If you want to give her that number (1000%, naturally), then it’s quite easy. All you must do is:

What You Must Do to Show Your Love of Sinai
1.) Promise to name your first child after her. (If you already have children, get your eldest to change his or her name to Sinai.)
2.) Send her many gifts. (Good ones, mind you!)
3.) Pray to her for nine hours straight.
4.) Build a huge temple with a gigantic marble statue of her.
5.) Sacrifice at least nine fruits to her at said temple. Note: Please do not sacrifice anything that could ruin the temple by staining or anything that smells particularily horrid.
6.) Rewrite your will so that she gets at least 59% of the inheiritance.
7.) Leave an anonymous gift of nine bars of gold at her front door (in the Anonymous Gifts of Gold box, please).
8.) Sign up to be one of her privileged servants (getting this position is not guaranteed).
9.) Pray to her for another nine hours.
10.) Write and publish a delightful book about how much you passionately love your Divine Ruler of Everything.
11.) Boo or jeer at Soigné when you spot her.
12.) Dye your fur so that you look like Sinai.
13.) Adjust your weight so that you weigh the same amount that Sinai weighs (ten tons).
14.) Pray to Sinai for another session of nine hours.
15.) Send her some money. ($999 minimum donation)
16.) Purchase every product for sale by Sinai and make sure to thank her profoundly for allowing you to buy them.
17.) Draw her a beautiful picture (of her) and gift it to her with a present of some precious gems.
18.) Repeat list.

See?! How easy is that? The only rule to following the list is that it must all be done on the International Day of Sinai. Also that you must do the list (every part). And that you must do it all according to how it is written here, or you are disqualified and must start over. It is a very easy list, though, and it probably won’t take more than 28 hours of your day (not counting construction of the temple, waiting in line, et cetera.)

So what are you waiting for? Show Sinai your deep love today on July 9th!

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A Very Easy Quiz Mostly About Your Favorite Rat (Answers Friday)

This quiz is a very easy quiz. You just have to get all of the questions right, which can’t be hard because there’s only eighty one of them, and they’re all multiple choice. If you don’t, you are sent into exile on a tiny, uninhabited island in the middle of the ocean to live out the rest of your life. If you do get them all right, you get an imaginary honorary mention certificate and a jar of air that was in the presence of Sinai the Great*. And who wouldn’t like an imaginary certificate and a jar of air*? Not me. I would love to have those things and would prize them for my entire life even above the picture of Sinai I have that I downloaded and printed from the computer. Now that you know the wonderful rewards one gets for completing this quiz (properly), are you excited to start? I know I am! So let’s go!


1. Who is your favorite rat?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

2. Who is the smartest rat to ever walk and breathe on this very earth?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

3. What is the best color ever? (Hint: It is the color of the fur of a certain wonderful rat who everyone admires and wants to be.)

a. black
b. white
c. black and white
d. white and black

4. What is your favorite rat’s full title?

a. Mojave the Annoying
b. Soigné the Blight on All Humanity
c. Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything
d. Olivia the Cat

5. Ianis Th’glib is neither of the following rats, but which is she most definitely NOT?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

6. Soigné spells her name S-O-I-G-N-É on purpose to confuse people, but how is it really spelled?

a. Swonye
b. Siognè
c. That Psycho
d. Swanyay

7. What is the only good trait Soigné has?

a. being of a color similar to black and white
b. having a confusing name
c. being related to Sinai
d. she has no good traits

8. Complete the sentence. Sinai is very _______.

a. much like her sister
b. stuck up
c. humble
d. Sinai

9. What is Sinai’s full name (not her title)?

a. Sinai The Best Blight
b. Sinai Wait-for-it Blight
c. Sinai Numbers (Numbers Don’t Lie) Blight
d. Sinai My Favorite Child Blight

10. Who is a dear friend of Sinai?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Ianis
d. Olivia

11. Who is another dear friend of Sinai?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Negev
d. Olivia

12. What is Sinai?

a. Rattus Norvegicus
b. Rattus Rattus
c. Sinainillius Thegreatus
d. Rattus norvegicus

13. What is Sinai’s lucky number?

a. 9
b. 9
c. 9
d. 9

14. What is your favorite rat’s favorite color?

a. green
b. grey (formerly clear)
c. pink
d. Olivia

15. Which does not belong on the list below?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

16. Sinai and Mojave are both siblings to wonderful and internationally beloved rats, and they also are both unworthy of being related to said internationally beloved rats. What is one difference between these two disgusting shames to their families?

a. One is a girl, the other a boy.
b. One is female, the other male.
c. There are no differences. Soigné is Mojave reincarnated
d. One is more feminine, the other more masculine.

17. Soigné has attempted to do all of the below to Sinai, except for…

a. strangle her
b. murder her
c. be nice to her
d. fatally wound her

18. Chub.

a. Flub.
b. Bub.
c. Chub.
d. Bear cub.

19. How easy is this quiz?

a. Very hard :'[
b. Challenging. :(
c. Super easy :D
d. In the middle :/

20. Well we are almost a fourth of the way through. Any words?

a. I love Sinai.
b. I really love Sinai.
c. I passionately love Sinai with all my heart! <3
d. I prefer Soigné.

21. If you answered D to the last question, please explain WHY you chose that particular answer.

a. D is my favorite letter
b. I guessed cuz I didn’t know what to put down
c. I did not choose D
d. I actually do prefer Soigné.

22. It feels like a perfect night…

a. to punish myself for picking D to the last two answers
b. to ask why did you have to bring Taylor Swift into this
c. to worship Sinai
d. to pick D as the answer again

23. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

a. Yadda yadda yadda
b. Uh huh uh huh
c. I love Sinai
d. I’m just going to keep on picking D

24. 24/6=?

a. 4
b. 4
c. 4
d. 183, 282, 190, 463

25. Just to clarify, who is your favorite rat again?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

26. Are you sure? Here is a second chance to change your answer.

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

27. This is your last chance. Pick who is your true favorite.

a. Sinai
b. Sinai
c. Sinai
d. Sinai

28. Who has the shortest, yet most dignified name of the listed below?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

29. If Train A leaves Sinaiville at 100 miles per hour, and Train B leaves Nainington at .01 miles per hour, which one has the sacred blessing of Sinai the Great bestowed upon it?

a. Train A
b. Train B
c. Sinai is too busy to bless trains
d. Sinai can bless trains?!

30. What is the most irrational fear listed below?

a. phobophobia
b. jimdandyphobia
c. sinaiphobia
d. paraskavedekatriaphobia

31. 2+2=?

a. 4
b. 5
c. Sinai
d. 22

32. Sinai is related to Soigné. Reaction?

a. :D
b. :)
c. OH GOOD GRACIOUS SINAI HOW CAN THIS BE?! Soigné is so unlike Sinai that I cannot believe it!
d. :'(

33. Soigné has two apples in one paw, three pears in another, fourteen watermelons in yet another, and eighty-six pineapples in her last paw. She also has nine cantaloupes in her mouth, five passion fruit balanced on her back, and a guava hovering above her head by evil witchcraft. Lastly, she has seventeen baby kiwis in her stomach and her tail wrapped around a durian. What does she have?

a. A lot of fruit.
b. 138 fruits, to be exact.
c. A day in court for robbing a fruit stand.
d. Really big paws.

34. What is Negev’s correct full title?

a. King Negev, Boss of You, Ruler of the World and Master of the Universe
b. King Negev Boss of You, Ruler of the World, and Master of the Universe
c. King Negev, Boss of You, Ruler of the World, and Master of the Universe
d. King Negev, Boss Of You, Ruler Of The World, And Master Of The Universe

35. What color is Negev’s fur?

a. tan
b. white
c. tan and white
d. white and tan

36. What is the general direction of weather in the United States?

a. downhill
b. up to down
c. west to east
d. North West to Kim Kardashian

37. x

a. y
b. z
c. Sinai
d. 0

38. Sinai is all of the following except…

a. Divine Ruler of Everything
b. very humble
c. Soigné
d. internationally beloved

39. Why did the chicken cross the road?

a. To get to the other side.
b. Because he wanted to.
c. He saw Sinai on the other side and wanted her pawtograph
d. Someone pushed him

40. For T to be acknowledged in the alphabet, what must happen?

a. it must pick a place among the letters
b. someone must put it in
c. it must ask for Sinai’s blessing to be included
d. it already is

41. Who is your favorite rat (please answer again)?

a. Sinai
b. Sinai
c. Sinai
d. Sinai

42. 7*6=?

a. 42
b. 42
c. Sinai
d. 42

43. You start coughing. What should you do?

a. See the doctor
b. Have a cough drop
c. Accuse Soigné of poisoning you
d. Cover your mouth

44. Continue the pattern: 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, ?

a. 4
b. 4
c. Sinai
d. 4

45. How much does Sinai weigh?

a. 1 lb.
b. 2 lbs.
c. 10 tons
d. 3 lbs.

46. What type of tail does your favorite rat have?

a. brown and crusty
b. monochromatic and pink
c. multicolored and beautiful
d. furry and catlike

47. You had it figured out since you were in school/Everybody loves ______, everybody loves ______.

a. pretty & cool
b. thread & a spool
c. Sinai & Sinai-ool
d. not Taylor Swift again!

48. What question would this be in base twelve?

a. 40
b. 4A
c. Sinai
d. Base twelve?

49. In what year was Rome founded?

a. 753 BCE
b. 357 BCE
c. When Sinai told it to
d. 537 BCE

50. Soigné’s name means

a. elegant
b. sleek
c. Sinai’s ugly sister that nobody likes
d. well groomed

51. What is a yepsen?

a. The two hands cupped together
b. A yep… sen
c. Not worth my time as it has nothing to do with Sinai
d. Nespey backwards

52. What does natiform mean, then?

a. shaped like a butt
b. shaped like a gnat
c. Still not worth my time, as Sinai does not have a natiform face
d. A nat… i… form

53. When was you favorite rat born?

a. August 4
b. April 12
c. May 9
d. April sometime

54. Why does February have only 28 days?

a. Augustus wanted 31 days in his month like how his dad had 31 in his (July), so he stole one from February.
b. It wants to be that way.
c. Sinai told it that since it did not worship her for long enough one day, it would only have 28 days.
d. Because it does.

55. Who has the worst sibling ever?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

56. Who is not Sinai?

a. Evajom
b. Éngios
c. Ianis
d. Aivilo

57. How old would Sinai be in rat years if she was 2 human years old?

a. 60
b. 2
c. Trick question, Sinai has been granted eternal youth
d. 14

58. Don’t say yes, run away now/I’ll meet you when you’re out of the church at the back door/Don’t wait, or say a single vow/You need to hear me out/And they said “____________.”

a. Speak now
b. Moo, I’m a cow
c. I love Sinai ouch Soigné bit me for saying that ow
d. Stop referencing Taylor Swift

59. Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxy…?

a. z
b. Next time, won’t you sing with me?
c. Sinai
d. z

60. Xoaisudfoiadusfkmndklafjduoiusfoaiudiouafweoiutfo ajsdkl;fjai;odsfuioadsufpasoudhfiocjklzjvi;aodspufoidsufoiasudfoiw094t8u209458t2049cko

a. What is this nonsense?!
b. Gibberish….
c. Sinai
d. xiou2098dnoiu ?

61. What does Soigné waste her huge paycheck on that is completely useless?

a. She doesn’t get a huge paycheck
b. She is forced to spend her paycheck for her sister
c. Toilet paper, toothpaste, and electricity
d. She hasn’t actually been paid in years

62. Finish the sentence: The most delightful, charming, funny, witty, hilarious, smart, intelligent, cute, adorable, kind, extraordinary, remarkable, attractive, lovable, beautiful, wonderful, and humble rat ever is _______.

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

63. Of the listed rats below, who is the most powerful being?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

64. What is the square root of 64?

a. 8
b. 8
c. Sinai
d. 8

65. The Panama Canal connects…

a. The Pacific and the Atlantic Oceans
b. The Atlantic and the Pacific Oceans
c. Sinai and Sinai
d. The Pacific and the Atlantic

66. Hup hup chup chup

a. Chup
b. Hup
c. Sinai
d. Hup chup

67. Which rat said this? “I am not Sinai”

a. Evajom
b. Éngios
c. Ianis
d. Aivilo

68. Who is the most unworthy rodent to walk the earth, especially of her gracious and loving sister?

a. Olivia
b. Sinai
c. Soigné
d. Mojave

69. The names below have been spelled incorrectly. Can you still figure out which rat is the greatest and most internationally beloved?

a. Mohavy
b. Swanyay
c. SIGH NIGH z– PICK THIS ONE
d. Aliveeyah

70. Which pair of siblings below is correctly matched?

a. Mojave & Dimples
b. Soigné & Ianis
c. Sinai & Soigné
d. Olivia & No One

71. Only ten more questions to go! What is a word that rhymes with “ten”?

a. pen
b. men
c. Sinai-en
d. hen

72. What number would you add onto the end of 72 to get the number cubed?

a. 9
b. 10
c. Sinai
d. 8

73. Soigné has decided that she no longer wants all of her fruit and has decided to rob a candy store. She has sixteen lollipops, twenty-three hard candies, five boxes of chocolates, thirty-four gummy bears, a bag of marshmallows, one cash register, fifty-nine chocolate bars, one lamp, two square feet of tile, a former candy shop employee, twelve surveillance cameras, two sample counters, an open sign, and eight pounds of gummy worms all in one trash bag. If she puts her grubby paw into the bag, what will most likely happen?

a. She will take a chocolate bar out.
b. She will take a gummy worm out.
c. The former candy shop employee will bite her paw.
d. She will take a sample counter out.

74. What does time look like?

a. A wheel that never stops moving
b. A never stopping undulating line with possible wormholes between the curves
c. Sinai’s face
d. A river that flows in one direction

75. What is the purpose of life?

a. I have no idea.
b. I have often pondered this.
c. Sinai
d. Hmmmmm…

76. Who makes the best nail pawlisshe colors (hint: siPawlisshe)

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

77. If you do not pass this quiz, what will happen?

a. I will go on with life like it never happened.
b. I will feel sad, but I won’t mind. It’s only a quiz.
c. I will go into exile.
d. I will throw my computer on the ground and smash it into tiny pieces.

78. Who has the most soothing voicing ever heard?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

79. Continue the pattern: ♥, ☺, ♥, •, ♥, ☺, ♥, •, ?

a. ♥
b. ☺
c. Sinai
d. •

80. What doesn’t lie?

a. Your quiz grade
b. Death
c. Sinai’s middle name
d. The truth

81. What is always the answer?

a. D
b. C
c. B
d. A

Bonus: (You have to get this right, too)

Will you pass this quiz?

a. Yes
b. No

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Ask Sinai #7 – Special Edition: Ask Soigné

Ask Sinai a question in the comments section below. She might even be gracious enough to use some of her extremely precious celestial time to type an answer out to your question!


Dear Soigné,

I am writing to you because I hear you are an expert on being an annoying sister, and I want to benefit from your vast knowledge and experience on this subject. Here is the problem: I have annoying sister somewhat like you. She is very ugly, what with her pale butt/torso complexion and over-tanned head (it is so tanned that it is literally black). I am a very powerful rat who has no time for doing house chores, so I have employed her to take care of my business and basically be my maid/butler/cook/all-purpose servant. I even pay her quite a large amount of money for her work (much more than she would get from other employers), but she either wastes much of it on frivolous things (like toothpaste, toilet paper, and electricity) or she donates it to a charity for charming and attractive rats with names beginning with S and rhyming with NaiNai who need a little help with the necessities, like power, dental hygiene, and having something to wipe themselves with. The truth is, even though she has quite a substancial income (thanks to me), she squanders it all (although it is nice that she donates to a charity organization) and is left with a little over minimum wage, and she blames me for it. Not only this, but she is not very good at her job. Her toast is too crispy, she left a streak mark on my bottom-of-first-floor-to-ceilling-of-fifth-floor window wall, and she takes up too much space in my tiny five story sophisticated hut with a mere square footage of twenty thousand feet. As she has not responded to my kindness, I have decided that the only way to get rid of her bad habits but keep her (because I am a loving sister) is to be annoying back to her. Have you any ideas on how to be the most irritating sibling ever (second only to you, naturally)?

Soigné, I Need An Insighfulthoughtonthis

Dear S. I. N. A. I.,

You sound very much like my sister. If you could kindly write back with proof that you are not her, then I would be quite pleased to help you. Until then, if you are my sister, I just want you to know that I am not helping you to be more annoying especially since I’d have to deal with it.

Soigné

Dear Soigné,

What ever makes you think I am your sister? I am too humble to be that lovely and very attractive, kind, charming, witty, intelligent, smart, lovable, pretty, beautiful, funny, remarkable, grand, and humble rat. Here is a picture of me for proof.

image

As you can see, I am not Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything (also known as your sister), but I would not mind if I was.

Sinai Is Not the Author (Iakamyself)

Dear S. I. N. A. (I.),

That’s a picture of me. Sorry, but I am definitely not helping you, even if you are not Sinai.

Soigné

Dear Soigné,

Young lady, answer me now, or I shall lower your salary that you already complain so much about.

Still I’m Not An Innocentrat(akanotsinai)inyoureyes

Dear S. I. N. A. I.,

You can’t do that. It’s already minimum wage. Any lower is against the law.

Soigné

Dear Soigné,

I AM THE DIVINE RULER OF EVERYTHING! I WILL LOWER MINIMUM WAGE IF I MUST TO TRAIN YOU INTO OBEDIENCE!

I am not Sinai you doubting and untrusting rodent unworthy of my letters

Dear Sinai,

Just gave yourself away. #jokesonyou

Soigné

Undear Soigné,

I just passed a law making minimum wage 50¢ a year. #whosgotthelastlaughnow

I am not your sister!

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