9 May 2012 – 21 July 2014
Dear Sinai,
I am having trouble wondering why I should ask you for advice. Everyone I know says you are a huge phony who thinks she is the queen of an imaginary kingdom. Could you please give me reassurance for your advice-giving abilities?
– Doubtful Reader
Dear Doubtful,
All of these snobs are lying! My kingdom isn’t imaginary (just ask Soigne, my all purpose servant rat). Also, I’m not the queen. I’m the Divine Ruler of Everything, which means I am all powerful and would like to know the names of these liars so I may execute them. If you’re wondering why you haven’t ever heard of my title, it’s because it’s only awarded to the most humble rats who won’t brag about it. I am a very modest rat, as you very well know, so of course I was the first choice.
– SINAI THE GREAT
Today is Sinai’s second birthday! To celebrate, why don’t you admire these attractive pictures of her?
I really like Sinai’s belly
It jiggles a lot like jelly
Sinai is a cute rat
She is also very fat
I love Sinai so much
Her belly I want to touch
This poem is so great
P.S. So is Sinai’s belly
Today is the second year of my wordpress acount! Sinai’s blog’s one year mark was also a week ago! (The first post was on 03 April 2013)
Jumping up and down on the floorsi
I am (of course) an animal
Sinai is also an animal
She had a sister, who rolled around
The sister’s name was Soigné,
And she often acted like an ape
One day, Soigné ran away
And she never came back (hooray!)
Her grimy paws and greasy coat,
She ran down the driveway slope.
The forest of carefully landscaped trees,
They used to look like a minor catastrophe
Soigné had declared a war
The giant $60 million palace wasn’t big enough for them all
Sinai, she got help from below
From unworthy peasants and a teletubby named Po
And for a while, Soigné grew mold (on her cheese)
Her friends were scared and ran into their holes
The forest that once was green
Was coloured pink by Sinai’s spray painting machines.
Sinai took down Soigné and her friends
And that’s how the story goes
The story of the runaway with those four germy paws
There once was a rat named Sinai
Everyone who saw her said “my oh my”
Cuz she was pretty
And smart and real witty
Plus many more adjectives I cannot fit into the limerick rhythm
She was adorable, white and black
Sometimes she gave her sister (Soigné) a light smack
Soigné deserved it
She was a little twit
Sinai, meanwhile, had a pet yak
Everyone loved this lovable rat
She was not skinny, but fat
Fat is good
Soigné was a hood
P.S. Once Sinai ate a cat (jk)