Tag Archives: SinaiSüt™

Olivia Models The Next Big Fashion Fad: CAT CAPS

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Cat caps are quite fashionable and stylish. They come in multiple sizes. The one above is XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXL, in case you were wondering. (In Fuzzie Bawttim Orinjish Pinkish Orinj™)

Watch out, hip hop shirts, there’s a new fashion trend in town.

What is this new, amazing, trendy item? It’s a cap… for your cat!

Cat caps are very comfortable and good for both warm and cool very cold weather. They are knit hats that you just plop onto your cat’s head. Cat caps are kind of hard to keep on the feline’s head, but who cares when your cat can look so cute?

Cat caps are part of Sinai Blight’s SinaiByootie INC. fashion line. You can also buy siPawlisshe™, Tayill Reens™, SinaiSüts™, and fur dye with your cat caps! Cat caps come in many, many colors. Buy all of them in case you find out that your cat hates a certain color!

THE MANY COLORS YOU CAN BUY CAT CAPS IN! Modeled by Oliveeyah Wutevirhernaimiz

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Lait Bloo™

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Stil Lait Butt Nawt Soh Lait Bloo™

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Oliveeyahz Fer™

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Oliveeyahz i’z™

Aren’t they cute? If you want to buy a cat cap, please call (123) LUV SISI and tell the operator the details: what color, what size (all of the caps above are XS, but you can also get XL, and XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXL). Depending on what type of cat you order, the price will range from $99 to $999,999. Cash only.

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A Sinaiday Approaches…

Well it’s that time of month again. And when I say that, I mean that it’s the time of month when it’s time to get out your SinaiSüts™ and start partying because it’s time for yet another Sinaiday! Woo hoo! It seems like the last one (Sinai’s birthday) was only a month ago… which it actually was! Ha ha ha!

“But what?” you say. “What is the approaching Sinaiday that I will gladly celebrate? And when does it occur? I have not marked it down in my portable SinaiKalinder™ (preorder a twelve month 2012 one for $999.99 by calling (123) LUV SISI), so do tell. I anticipate your answer.”

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“Don’t worry, stressed out readers. I, Soigné the Very Helpful and Not At All Annoying and Pesky Rodent*, will make sure you know all of the details before the end of this post. (NO THANKS TO YOU, SINAI.)”

Well just in case you were wondering (even though I am pretty sure you, without a doubt, were), the upcoming Sinaiday is Dearest NaiNai Day, and it is on June 9th, which is in five days. This means you have a solid five days to prepare for a huge party and buy a ton of new SinaiSüts™ and other products by Sinai so that your guests can feel like they are loved when you shower them with Sinai brand gifts. (Sinai recommends a lovely bottle of Pupey™ siPawlisshe™. It is a very nice color that goes with everything. If you don’t know what it looks like, click this link.) Not only that, but your support for Sinai’s many beautiful and lovely items will help her financial situation out a lot. And you know you can’t resist helping other rats out with their financial situations.

But anyways, make sure to save the date. How awful would it be if you completely missed one of the best days of the year just because you were too lazy to write down three words in your SinaiKalinder™? Really awful, right? And you don’t want to feel really awful on a day like that.

*this is a lie

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Quotes #7: You Haven’t Lived Until…

What do these (mostly) fine rats and cat think about that question?

“…You no longer have to work as a servant for your brother.”

Mojave the Annoying

“…You buy all of the items from the Sinai line of products, which includes everything from nail polish (siPawlisshe™) to clothing (SinaiSüt) to fun ways to stalk your friends, enemies, and frenemies (StokkerKam™)!”

Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything

“…You join my fan club!”

King Negev, Boss of You, Ruler of the World, and Master of the Universe

“…You’ve shed on every thing in your house.”

Olivia the Cat

“…Your sister stops spelling your name wrong and mispronouncing it, even after you made a ten-page booklet all about how to pronounce it. Also, she should stop calling you a ‘blight on all humanity’, especially if her last name happens to be ‘Blight’ as well.”

Soigné the Blight on All Humanity

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The Book of Sinai Entry #2

Dear Book of Me,

Sometimes I feel like my sister does not want to bond with me. I do not understand why, as I am the most attractive, smart, funny, lovable, soft, hilarious, amicable, likable, intelligent, kindly, cute, adorable, friendly, silky, charming, elegant, distinguished, brainy, great, divine, athletic, easy-going and humble rat to ever live. I mean, who wouldn’t want to bond with me? It’s the opportunity of a lifetime, you know. A lot of young rodents want nothing more than to be my friend, and here she is, refusing my kind offer!

But anyhow, I have been trying to be more friendly towards my sister, Soigné, after getting a couple complaints from some lady rat named “5w@nY_ay2881927463” on http://www.reviewsinai5starsordie.com about how I “mistreat my sister.” (Complete lies, obviously, but I don’t need some little kid spreading false rumors about the relationship I have with my sister.)

Some of the ways I have tried to be more kind than I already have been to Soigné include reducing her work day from sixteen hours to fifteen hours and fifty-nine minutes, helping her try on SinaiSüts (see Ask Sinai #2 for details), and forcing her to eat one square meal a day (instead of her old diet of choice, bread and water). I think I have been a very generous and loving sister, and yet she tells me that she wants to move out and no longer work for me. What a thankless snob! I’ve spent minutes thinking up ways to improve her already-privileged life. Believe me, not all rats can sleep in the cellars of the Divine Ruler of Everything! She should consider herself lucky. Shame on her for being so ungrateful.

Your favorite and very underappreciated rat,
Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything

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Ask Sinai #2

Dear Sinai,

     I love your stylish and chic sense of fashion. Your fur is so sleek and cute looking. And your cute little black spot is absolutely adorable. Can you please help me become more like you? I am very ugly looking, what with my nastily boring white body and rather bland black head. (It kind of sounds like I have a lot of acne when I say that. Which is true, by the way.) I do have a little black spot, but it looks kind of stupid on my otherwise all-white belly. Also, unlike your sweet and endearing large ears, I have weird ears that are a result of being the offspring of a dumbo and regular rat. My ears are too big to be normal, but they’re too small to be cute like yours are. Lastly, my tail is very boring. Unlike your charming multi-colored tail, mine is one boring brownish-pink color. Can you please help me look more attractive? No one wants to be my friend. Not even my amazingly beautiful and lovable sister.

Swon Yhae

Dear Swon,

    You sound a lot like my sister, Soigné, so I will tell you exactly what I told her: no one can ever be as cute and charming as I am. But you can try. I would suggest buying a SinaiSüt™ ($599999.99 w/o s&h), which you wear over your normal, bland fur. It can be slightly stifling and sweaty when you wear it all day long, but it is totally worth it, since you will look exactly like me. It even adds flab to your belly so you can be pleasantly plump like me! If you are a cheapskate (like my sister), you might want to consider dying your fur. I have my own line of fur-dye colors so that everyone can look like me. SinaiBlaak™ and SinaiWightte™ are just two of the many colors I sell (two, to be exact). Each costs only $299.99 for a 2 oz. bottle (fake flab not included)! You can also buy a FaikkTayle™ ($799.99) from me. You slip it over your real tail, and it adds faux multi-colored effects to your tail. It is made of rubber, though, so it is very delicate. I would recommend not running your tail through a meat grinder while wearing it or running around in acid rain. That can be very damaging. As for your ears, I would suggest cutting off the parts that make yours look awkwardly large (but not large enough to be cute) so that you look like a normal rat. It may be painful, but you will be glad you did it later on. If you would like to learn about other products that can help make you look more like me, call (123) LUV SISI (call that number to order also). I hope this helped!

– Sinai the Great


Have a question for Sinai? Comment on any post/page on this blog, and Sinai might consider answering it.

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