12 April 2012 – 14 March 2014
Soigné was a very ugly rodent child. She was white and black (ugh!) with normal-sized ears (ew!), buckteeth (nasty!), and a booger problem (disgusting!). She also smelled like the town dump.
Everyone acknowledged that Soigné was ugly. Well, not everyone really. Soigné didn’t think she was that ugly. In fact, she thought she was quite nice looking, even though she was obviously not.
Soigné had a rat sister whose name was Sinai. Sinai was the exact opposite of her sister. While Soigné could only speak in grunts, Sinai eloquently strung words together into beautiful examples of perfect English. Soigné’s belly was very small; Sinai’s was quite large and jiggly. And last of all, Sinai was internationally beloved by the masses, while Soigné couldn’t walk to the grocery store without getting tomatoes thrown at her head.
The horrible Soigné also had some behavioral problems. For example, she sometimes bit the paper-rat when he was too late delivering the paper (thus causing the paper-rat to not ever want to deliver it). She also occasionally stole clothing out of department stores and then blamed Sinai for her crimes. Sometimes, she even attempted to be in the same area of her more dignified sister, Sinai!
After a while, Sinai got sick of her sister acting like a crazy psycho, so she sat on her face, and all her Soigné-related troubles ended right there and then.
Sinai is very squished in the picture above. I wonder how that might have happened. Might her sister, Soigné, shoved her against the cage bars? It’s a possibility.
“Me don’t know why no one can understand why I hate my sister, Soigné. I mean, first of all, her name is impossible to spell. I only managed to spell it after checking her birth certificate nine times. I can never get whether the o is supposed to go before the i, or the i before the o. And then there’s that e. It is so annoying. I can never get which accent to put on it. I wish that she would just change her name to something more friend (like Iluvsinai), or even get a nickname so I don’t have to write that horrible name out whenever I refer to her without using pronouns or indirect references. Then she goes and shoves me against the cage bars when she wants to sit somewhere, which is very rude, because I am always there first. Me also don’t like her ugliness. She is, like, white and black. That is so ugly. Doesn’t she know that black and white have been the hot colors ever since May 9, 2012? (Coincidentally, that day is also my birthday.) Then she smells funny. She smells like my poop. (Just so you know, me don’t poop on her. I know it seems like I do, but I don’t. Really. I don’t lie.) Eww, right? And… yup, that’s all.”
– Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything
This is a very special post. And not just because the title is only one seemingly random character long. (Believe me, that ‘C’ is not random at all.) But what’s the big deal about having a single character as a title? Musicians do this all the time with their albums. (+, 4, etc.) It is, in fact, special for an entirely other reason. Although, it could be argued that having the shortest post title on this website so far does make it rather significant.
Pray do tell, how is this post special or out of the ordinary? I am very interested in learning the answer to this perplexing question.
However, having the third letter of the alphabet as a title is not very… out of the ordinary. It’s something that could happen again. It could even become normal to have all posts on this website be called ‘C’, or perhaps to spice it up sometimes, ‘The Letter Before D and After B.’ However, the thing that makes this post so special is something that will never happen again ever on sinaithegreat.wordpress.com. NEVER. I’m not lying. You can only have a one hundredth post once.
Pictured above: The number which this post is. If you cannot read Arabic numerals, it is one hundred.
Yes, that’s right, this is the one hundredth post! One hundred is a big number because that is 1/200 of Sinai’s weight (10 tons, in case you don’t feel like doing math). Actually, that is a very small number. Never mind.
Despite being a rather small number, one hundred is still significant, if only for the fact that it is a perfect square. Also, that upside down, it is the number 1, which looks like a capital ‘I’, which appears twice in Sinai’s name (when it is capitalized). It is the first number with three digits, too. And, again, it is 1/200 of Sinai’s weight, which is cool, because anything associated with Sinai is automatically cool (except for Soigné). She’s like a coolness magnet. In fact, she might have swallowed one of those when she was just a little baby who could fit in the palm of your hand. Sinai has always had a vague memory of swallowing something metal when she was a tiny ratling.
I love Sinai. She makes everything (except for her sister) automatically hot and trending. Like look at this picture. If this was any other rat, you would probably be grossed out at the sleepy looking rodent and the bad case of bedhead. However, as this is Sinai, it looks great. (I can’t say so for the rat in the front, though.)
As this is the one hundredth post, it feels like something special should be done? But what? I’ve already shown you an exclusive picture of Sinai sleeping. I’ve already mentioned Sinai’s name, which has a very soothing sound to it, multiple times. I’ve already had the common courtesy to even post a post today. Sinai hasn’t given me permission to post another picture of her, so I guess what I will have to do is post a FUN and EXCLUSIVE poll! How delightful, and positively exciting! You can find the poll below. Have fun, and enjoy your gift from me (and also partially Sinai)!
Sinai Blight, also known as the world’s most beloved rat ever, has always insisted that she absolutely detests her sister, Soigné. However, photos that Soigné accidentally uploaded online recently (and later deleted, but not before the damage to Sinai was done) tell a different story.
Sinai snuggles up to her sister in an almost loving manner. It makes you wonder.
These photos show Soigné resting her head upon Sinai in a loving gesture and Sinai not resisting at all. If Sinai really loathed her sister as much as she says she does, wouldn’t she have shoved her off? And wouldn’t she have not let anyone take a picture of her in a position that showed her sisterly love? Well obviously, Sinai did neither of those things.
So why is Sinai letting her sister rest her “grimy head” (as Sinai once said) on a body that belongs to the most powerful universal ruler around? We asked Sinai this very question, and here is how she answered.
“I don’t really feel any affection for my sister, even if it looks like that. I mean, yes, I am allowing her to place her lowly, germy, and quite hollow head on my divine and ever precious body, and yes, I am not resisting, and yes, I did let someone take a picture of me in that degrading and embarrassing position, but: a.) I was asleep, therefore I was not aware of the photographer, b.) Soigné, despite being very ugly, weighs a ton (still only 20% of my body weight, by the way), and it was like a sack of bricks had been placed upon my lovely and very valuable body, which immobilized me, and c.) my cage is very small and cramped, which leaves no other places to sleep.”
– Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything
Sinai’s very cramped cage that has absolutely no space for her to sleep without her hefty sister leaning on her.
So what do you think? Do you believe Sinai when she says that she had no options other than sleeping with her awful sister next to her, or do you think she might actually feel love for her sister?