Tag Archives: smelly

The Cutest, Charmingest, Delightfulest, Beautifulest, Bestest, Sweetest, Funniest, Wittiest, Loveliest, Fascinatingest, Intelligentest, and Humblest Rat Ever!

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Look at this absolutely adorable little child of rat! She is so cute! Also, her name is Sinai, which means “The Bestest Rat.” (Look it up, it’s true. I’m not lying.) She is very beautiful, as you can clearly see (unless you are blind; in that case, I apologize for being politically incorrect), and she also smells good. (You will have to take my word for that.) Plus, she has a melodious voice that is soothing to the ear. Please ignore the strange white blur in the bottom left corner. I don’t know what happened. There must have been something wrong with the camera. However, I assure you, that is not Sinai’s ugly, disgusting, smelly, nasty, stinky, farting sister, Soigné, running away from her darling sister. Why would she ever do that? Sinai is a very kind and loving rat. She has never been mean or disrespectful to her sister, ever! Really! I she did not write this post, so anything about how “ugly, disgusting, smelly, nasty, stinky” Soigné is is not from her. Really. I am not kidding! Okay, now onto the situation of the white blur which really is not Soigné. I think it might be a ghost. Yeah, that’s probably it. It was training for Halloween. Of course, Soigné is so ugly that she scares little rat children everyday of the year, not just Halloween.

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Smelly Ground (Parody of Holy Ground by Taylor Swift)

farting soigne

Soigné has some very bad gas, as observed by Sinai in the following song.

I was being awesome just the other day
While having coffee not alone
But with this thing named Soigné
Whose nasty fart smelled like Beijing air
(And having a nose I obviously care)
It took off faster than a green light, go
Yeah, you get a clothespin once you already know
I ran away quickly and left my coffee behind
And that was the first time

And dear Me, it was bad
Never breathing again
And right there, where she sat
Was stinky ground.

Sputtering ’cause of all this awful gas, I had this big wide city all to escape
I block the smell of “Gross, P.U.!”
And for the first time, my nose I wanted to lose
And I guess it (finally) ended in the usual way
And the story’s got fart in every page
But sometimes I think I can still smell it now
And I smell that stench in every crowd

‘Cause dear Me, it was bad
Never breathing again
And right there, where she sat
Was smelly ground

Tonight I’m gonna breathe
For all the smells I’ve been through
But I don’t want to breathe
If Soigné’s fart comes with you
Tonight I’m gonna breathe
Like there’s no stench in the room
But I don’t want to breathe
If Soigné’s fart comes with you

It was bad
Never breathing again
And right there, where she sat
Was polluted ground

Tonight I’m gonna breathe
For all the smells I’ve been through
But I don’t want to breathe
If Soigné’s fart comes with you
Tonight I’m gonna breathe
Like there’s no stench in the room
But I don’t want to breathe
If Soigné’s fart comes with you

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