Tag Archives: soothing

“Thee Goormay Fude Sawn/The Gourmet Food Song” by Sinai

This song was left with the original spelling by Sinai unchanged. If you find it difficult to read, just remember that government doesn’t put nearly enough money into teaching rats how to spell. Oh, and that a translated version of the song can be found towards the bottom of this post. It is to be sung in a loud, screeching, and very unmelodious voice. It does not matter what rhythms you put to the words; anything will sound very “soothing and melodious”, at least according to Sinai. When sung, this tune should somewhat resemble the yowls of a cat being run over by a train.

This cat is licking her paw like there is no tomorrow.

If you are unsure as to what a cat being run over by a train sounds like, please do not actually run over one just to find out


Thee Goormay Fude Sawn/The Gourmet Food Song (Original)

I liek goormay fude
Ya I liek goormay fude
It be soh taystie yum yum taystie it be
Goormay fude uh huh
I liek goormay fude

Wut iz be bettr then goormay FUDE? nuth een thatts wut. I luv goormay fude mm mm taystilishus
Goormay fude, yoo be mai luv
Goormay fude, i luv yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Yoo ar wut i dreem uv wen I fawl uhsleap

O goormay fude
Hau I Endgoy Yoo Soh Mustch!!!!!!!
i wan moar goormay fude , yett
No wun baize yoo phore meeeeeeeeeeeeee
aw BOO HOO HOO
I sae, alas, phore i luv yoo oh soH mustch

Deerissed goormay fude, yoo kumm in men-E phoarmz, liek: yogert, yogert, frozin yogert, yogert, dride yogert, yogert, fr00t-awn-thee-bottIm yogert, yogert, fr00tie yogert, vejjy tib ul yogert, darey produks, yogert, yogert, yogert frum Greasy, yogert, yogert, yogert, yogert, yogert-awn-the-bottIm yogert, chunkee yogert, likwidy yogert, yogert, yogert, yogert-cuvred razenz, yogert-cuvred seeri-ill, yogert, yogert, yogert, yogert, yogert, yogert, also yogert, and yogert.
i reely liek yogert
alsoh candee
yum canddee
i liek to eet yogert, an yogert. alsoH yogert!!!!
yo be delishus goormay fude , yes , yo be!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 yogert

o goormay fude
i luv yoo but it seemz i nevir c yoo
sutsch be hau it iz
i still luv yoo
pee ess i am a grate seen er an sawn riter

Thee Goormay Fude Sawn/The Gourmet Food Song (Translated)

Yeah, I like gourmet food.
It be so tasty, yum, yum, tasty it be.
Gourmet food, uh huh
I like gourmet food.

What is better than gourmet FOOD? Nothing, that’s what. I love gourmet food, mm, mm, tastilicious.
Gourmet food, you be my love.
Gourmet food, I love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.
You are what I dream of when I fall asleep.
Oh gourmet food,
How I enjoy you so much!!!!!!
I want more gourmet food, yet
No one buys you for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Aw BOO HOO HOO
I say, alas, for I love you oh so much

Dearest gourmet food, you come in many forms, like: yogurt, yogurt, frozen yogurt, yogurt, dried yogurt, yogurt, fruit-on-the-bottom yogurt, yogurt, fruity yogurt, vegetable yogurt, dairy products, yogurt, yogurt, yogurt from Greece, yogurt, yogurt, yogurt, yogurt, yogurt-on-the-bottom yogurt, chunky yogurt, liquidy yogurt, yogurt, yogurt, yogurt, yogurt, yogurt-covered raisins, yogurt-covered cereal, yogurt, yogurt, yogurt, yogurt, yogurt, yogurt, also yogurt, and yogurt.
I really like yogurt.
Also candy.
Yum, candy.
I like to eat yogurt, and yogurt. Also yogurt!!!!
You be delicious, gourmet food, yes, you be!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yogurt

Oh gourmet food,
I love you, but it seems I never see you
Such be how it is.
I still love you.
P.S. I am a great singer and songwriter.

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The Book of Sinai Entry #3

Dear Book of Me,

Today I sat on Soigné. Then I sat on Soigné. After that, I sat on Soigné. I sat on her for a very long period of time. Then she sat on me! Just kidding, I sat on her. Ha ha. While I was sitting on Soigné, I ate my food. It was very good, but not as good as sitting on Soigné. I find it to be very enjoyable and relaxing to sit on Soigné. Do you know what is also very fun to do? Sitting on my sister. It is soothing and relaxes me after a long day of sitting on Soigné.

Yours sitting on Soigné,
SINAI THE GREAT, DIVINE RULER OF EVERYTHING (WHICH INCLUDES SITTING ON SOIGNÉ)

image

I also sat on this lamp. Sitting on Soigné was funner, though.

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Join $-MUNNY F!tne$$ TODAY!

DO YOU WANNA GET FIT?

If you wanna get fit, then you would really benefit from joining $-MUNNY F!tne$$ today!

$-MUNNY F!tne$$ is a gym club that you join that is run by everybody’s favorite rat, Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything, aka Sinai the Great, aka Sinai Blight, aka Sinai. By taking advantage of this amazing opportunity, not only will you waste tons of money on getting a “healthy” body (everyone knows that overweight is the way to go), but you also will be able to spend some quality time interacting with Sinai, if, by “interacting”, you mean watching an old video of her yelling rubbish into your ears for two full hours. Don’t worry, everyone who has gone through $-MUNNY F!tne$$ has had some really positive thoughts about it.

“I thought $-MUNNY F!tne$$ was going to suck from the description that was written in the brochure. But, me being a daredevil, I decided to try it. And you’d never believe it, but the so-called old video was in HD with surround sound audio! I was so stunned that I completely neglected to even do my workout, and you know what? I don’t even have a healthy body now! You really should join $-MUNNY F!tne$$. It is really nothing at all like what it sounds like on paper.”

Franny Bigfannie

If you are, for some strange reason, considering joining, you might want to see what the participants do. Here are a few pictures of what you will be doing for two full hours while watching Sinai’s fitness video. If you do not like climbing cage bars, stretching, or stretching, it is not recommended to view the following pictures.


Sinai stretches

This is part of the educational video Sinai the Great has provided for $-MUNNY F!tne$$ members to watch. You, too, will learn how to climb cage bars while showing off your amazingly attractive little black spot. (Not recommended for rats who do not have little black spots or who are self conscious about their tummies.)

065

Soigné Blight, also known as Sinai the Great’s unruly sister, tries out some stretching poses while a cardboard cut out of the one and only Sinai the Great stands in the background giving her some encouraging default phrases. Soigné later said that instead of being stiff, her arm now aches like crazy, but it definitely is a lot more flexible.

Olivia 023

Olivia the Cat also tries out some stretching poses. While doing so, she grooms the base of her tail, which is now very sanitized and hygienic. She is thankful to $-MUNNY F!tne$$ for providing her the opportunity to clean her tail and other appendages.


Now that you have seen the types of activities that members of $-MUNNY F!tne$$ do while participating, you are most likely better informed, and as you are better informed, you will probably be able to make a wiser decision. So now would you kindly please answer the quick and easy poll below? You must choose on of the provided answers. If you are torn between two, pick the one that comes earlier in the alphabet. If you are torn between two that come at the same time in the alphabet, you probably need to see a doctor because that means that you can’t decide between one answer and the same answer. And that’s a problem.

Now that you have made an informed decision, you may either continue (if you chose “yes”, “yeah”, “uh-huh”, “ya”, “sure”, “ok”, “k”, “yea”, “yay”, “okay”, “why not”, or “yup”) or not continue (if you did not do the poll, which means you actually should go back and do it) to sign up for $-MUNNY F!tne$$. Even though it is very expensive, you should still do it because Sinai has a soothing voice, and signing up will allow you to listen to her very soothing voice for two straight hours. And who wouldn’t want to listen to such a soothing voice for such a long period of time?

TO SIGN UP FOR $-MUNNY F!tne$$ CALL (123) LUV SISI RIGHT NOW!

The first nine callers get a .01% discount on their total price for membership, plus they get a free sticker at their first $-MUNNY F!tne$$ meeting.

COSTS ONLY $999.99 A MONTH FOR MEMBERSHIP! JOIN NOW! YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT LATER!

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Quote$ #6

“For quite an abundant and uncountable amount of the minutes and hours I dedicate to the activity of working my vocal chords, I do far too often feel as if those primitive beings who I am attempting to communicate with through the medium of my pulchritudious and rather soothing voice do not comprehend the miniscule and diminutive message I try to send towards their basic and simplistic thoughts. And, not only are they incapable of processing my very simple message, but not one of the beings whom I converse with makes even the most feeble attempt at discovering the meaning and theme of my uncomplicated words. I do not understand why not one of my acquaintances has previously tried to find the message that I send through my soothing voice.”

– Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything

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