Tag Archives: Swanyay

A Sinai Tale #12: 299 WORD AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF SINAI

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In celebration of this being the 100th post tagged “Sinai,” Sinai has written a short 299 word autobiography so that you can know more about her. #sinai


Me was born on top of cloud which floated down to earth. Me was an adorable baby. Me was black and white with little black spot. However sadly, when me floated down to earth, me ugly sister known as Swanyay suddenly appeared on me cloud. She say, “Sinai, because you be such a darling angle* of a child, you must have me as you sister! It is the only way.” I try to push her off of cloud so she don’t bug me no more, but suddenly me mommy appear and tell me, with tears in her eyes, that it was decreed at me birth that me should have pain-in-the-tail sister to bring me down to earth. Ya, like I need that– me has giant floaty cloud! Anyhow, me accept that ugly Swanyay be my sister and no way to get rid of her. : ( Ya so after that, me reach earth with me ugly sister. Me arrived at huge golden palace, which was obviously meant to be owned by me. Me move in and me was even kind enough to give Swanyay her own room, which was in the room with the horses. Anyhow, week after me arrive, old cranky man come to palace and start yelling me for “trespassing”, wutever that is. Well, me arrested him, and he is still serving his time for insulting the divine ruler of the world. After me got over that incident, me continued to grow and blossom in my shiny castle. The only problems I had was when Swanyay didn’t clean my room, which happened very often actually. But then I threatened to arrest her, and now she always be cleaning me room on time. I continue to be good and kind, and now me is Divine ruler of Everything.

the End!

*Note: Me really was an angle when me was a baby. Me was an acute angle.

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Stuff You Never Knew You Could Eat (And That Would Taste Good)!

Hi! Me name is Sinai! Me gonna tell you all about all this tastilicious stuff you never knew what you could eat! Yup. From this article, which I made my sister, Swanyay, type (because me has much better things to do with my time than type stuff, you know #yoso #youonlysinaionce) you will learn so much about tasty stuff that you can eat. Now, me is unsure about what nutrition all this stuff has, and also, me not exactly sure if all of this stuff isn’t poisonous, you know. (I kinda made me sister eat much of what I write about here, so me is unsure about side effects, okay?) Anyhow, you want to read this article. Okay go on.


WOOD

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Oh ya, wood is soooo good. It taste just like paper, only kind of less pulpy, if you know what me is talking about. Okey dokey, if you don’t understand, me will now explain to you: wood is made from paper! Isn’t that such an interesting fact? See, what them wood-makers do is that they take a lot of paper, put it all in a giant cauldron full of V8 (that is why trees, which are also made of paper, have leaves), and chant magic spells every day at 6 pm for a week. After that, the paper magically changes into wood.

CLAW POLISH

sinaismani

Yeah, so me didn’t really eat this. I kinda forced my ugly and otherwise useless sister to eat this kindly gave my dear sister the option to eat the claw polish, which she took. Anyhow, she say, “Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm… this has… an interesting taste,” which obviously means that it tastes so delishy! Also, as a bonus, it turned her tongue hot pink for a week!

MONEY

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This tasted very good and papery, but me wouldn’t recommend eating it unless you can eat someone else’s money.

CROTCH HAIR

Olivia 023

Just kidding! Don’t eat this, small subordinate citizens.

FLOWERS

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So one day me got a tiny bit hungry after my lazy sister, Swanyay, was late getting me my food. I naturally did not want to starve, because, you know, that is a horrible fate! What I did to not have to face this tragic fate which I would never wish upon meself was I went to the window box and picked a couple flowers. Me not sure exactly what flowers I ate, but they was very good (except for the red one with the nasty prickly things on its long green petal). Later, I even fed Swanyay this weird thing I found in the window box, and I am pretty sure she very much enjoyed it because right after she ate it, she rushed to the bathroom, where she naturally wanted to watch herself chew the funny looking flower. In case you wondering, it was this stubby thing with beige long petal and for the top, it was red with white polka dotties.

NATIO??? GEO??????????

AKA: SOME MAGAZINE WITH A YELLOW BORDER THINGY

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Mojave is pictured here eating his din-din, which is some weird magazine called “Natio Geo.” Actually, I am sure there are more letters in the name, but me can’t tell because stupid Mojave is covering them up. THANKS A LOT, MOJAVE.

FRUITS AND VEGETABLES

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Yeah, can you believe this? You can actually eat those weird things. Or at least my ugly sister, Soigné can. She says they taste good (me not sure if you can trust her, though). Also, they apparently are very healthy for you and can cause you to not be very robust like me, which, if me is thinking correctly, IS TERRIBLE! So actually, don’t eat fruits and vegetables. They make you skinny.

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How to Be a Great Ledge-Balancer!

Right now, standing on a 3″ wide ledge half a foot off the ground might sound kind of scary to most sensible rats. Luckily, you do not have to be very scared at all! All you have to do is learn how to be a great ledge-balancer, and there will be nothing to fear ever again. (Note: “Nothing” does not include any of the following: Soigné, rats with white and black fur, Sinai’s sister, white and blackness, ugly rats, greasy white and black fur, Swanyay.)

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Soigné can balance on a ledge… why can’t you?! Come on, don’t let a loser like Soigné look better than you at something as simple as balancing on a ledge. LEARN TO BE A GREAT LEDGE-BALANCER TODAY.


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1. First, you must find a ledge to practice on. You can’t balance on a ledge without a ledge, duh! That’s like being alive without adoring and loving and worshiping and wanting to be Sinai! (Note: It may be a problem to get this ledge if your human does not understand rat language and therefore can’t carry it for you to your cage.)

2. Now that you have found a ledge, get someone to install it. You should probably get your human to do it because all humans, as you know, possess a special magic known as “THUMZ.” This allows them to use their paws in ways that you, sadly… can not.

3. Okay, now you are ready to begin! Just kidding, you are not. If you want to be safe and not kill yourself while practicing, you should buy a SINAI Mattress with SINAIFOME, a unique new material that will make sure that if you fall on it, you only suffer minor injuries (i.e. breaking your tail-bone) rather than the major ones (i.e. bruising your tail). You should get king size just in case you have a wide fall.

4. Now you really are ready to begin. Get someone to help you up onto the ledge/hold the camcorder so they record you falling and post it online, causing you embarrassment for the rest of your life.

5. If you are on the ledge, you have to act fast. Stick your tail out to steady yourself, and make sure to dig your claws in so you don’t fall off. (Note: Sinai will not pay for damages if you get stuck on the ledge because you stuck your claws in way too far.)

6. Continue to practice every day, and see how long you can last on the ledge. If you improve, congratulations, you will soon become a great ledge-balancer! Maybe you will even be able to sleep on your ledge, like certain adorable, lovable, worship-able, and want-to-be-able rats can.

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I’m not suggesting any adorable, lovable, worship-able, and want-to-be-able rat in particular. Just saying.

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A Sinai Tale #10: DENIAL – A Story With a Moral

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There once was a very furry cat who had fur the color of her fur. This cat was known as Olivia, and she lived a very easy life. She lived with two humans, another cat, and also two rats. Olivia never spent time with anyone except for her humans, so she did not even know she was living with other animals until she realized that all of her food disappearing wasn’t due to magic.

Olivia wasn’t too fazed by the discovery of another cat, but that was before she discovered the other two animals she was living with– a fat black and white chumpy rat named Sigh Nigh and her “dingaling sister,” Swanyay.

The cat discovered the two rodents on one average day (comfortable temperature with not a chance of rain) when she was exploring her house. She had suddenly discovered an orange room where she had thought there was only a decorative door, and it was in this room that she found the fat rat and her sister.

Now, Olivia was very shocked to find the rats. She had always thought that rats were like tiny cats, but the ones that she saw (which said that they really were rats) looked nothing at all like tiny cats! First of all, they had extremely pointy noses, and someome had cur their ears into a disturbing round shape. Also, the rats had, instead of fur, peach fuzz on their feet. Both of the rats looked like they didn’t have necks (?!), and the fat one, Sigh Nigh, was extremely pear shaped. Olivia was very frightened by the messed-up creatures, but when she saw their tails, she almost fainted.

They had stringy naked tails that looked scaly, which was nothing like Olivia’s fluffy and furry tail.

The scared cat thought that she might be able to get away from the demented rats without them seeing her, but alas, that was not to happen. As soon as Olivia put one paw down to try and retreat, the fat Sigh Nigh whipped around and instantly noticed Olivia.

“Yo kitty, why you be looking so weird?” asked Sigh Nigh. “What’s with the flat nose, the nasty elf ears, and the furry tail? Them make you look really odd looking, you know. Here, in case you don’t know, this is me tail. It is very trendy to have a hairless tail, you know. Also, they be easy to clean.” Sigh Nigh reached out to Olivia with her tail, but sadly Olivia was so scared of the rats that she did not register what Sigh Nigh was saying. All she heard was “Squeak squeak I’m really scary roar,” and all she saw was a frightening naked tail coming straight to her face.

That was the breaking point. The terrified cat immediately curled up and turned her face away from Sigh Nigh’s menacing tail. She promised to herself that she would not leave the pillow she was sitting on until the rat grew hair on her tail.

To this day, Olivia sits on her pillow in denial of reality.

Moral: Sinai is a cute rat!

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Oh, Scrabble!

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See? Even Scrabble loves Sinai. (Sinai is on the left, in case you cannot see her due to her amazing camouflage abilities.) It’s too bad that certain rats *coughcoughSWANYAYcoughcough* don’t love Sinai nearly as much as this electronic version of a board game does. Boo hoo hoo.

Note: Apparently Sinai is not a word according to Scrabble… even though “soigne” is!!! Excuse me! Sinai is not sending you any thank you cards/gifts now!

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A Very Easy Quiz Mostly About Your Favorite Rat (Answers Friday)

This quiz is a very easy quiz. You just have to get all of the questions right, which can’t be hard because there’s only eighty one of them, and they’re all multiple choice. If you don’t, you are sent into exile on a tiny, uninhabited island in the middle of the ocean to live out the rest of your life. If you do get them all right, you get an imaginary honorary mention certificate and a jar of air that was in the presence of Sinai the Great*. And who wouldn’t like an imaginary certificate and a jar of air*? Not me. I would love to have those things and would prize them for my entire life even above the picture of Sinai I have that I downloaded and printed from the computer. Now that you know the wonderful rewards one gets for completing this quiz (properly), are you excited to start? I know I am! So let’s go!


1. Who is your favorite rat?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

2. Who is the smartest rat to ever walk and breathe on this very earth?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

3. What is the best color ever? (Hint: It is the color of the fur of a certain wonderful rat who everyone admires and wants to be.)

a. black
b. white
c. black and white
d. white and black

4. What is your favorite rat’s full title?

a. Mojave the Annoying
b. Soigné the Blight on All Humanity
c. Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything
d. Olivia the Cat

5. Ianis Th’glib is neither of the following rats, but which is she most definitely NOT?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

6. Soigné spells her name S-O-I-G-N-É on purpose to confuse people, but how is it really spelled?

a. Swonye
b. Siognè
c. That Psycho
d. Swanyay

7. What is the only good trait Soigné has?

a. being of a color similar to black and white
b. having a confusing name
c. being related to Sinai
d. she has no good traits

8. Complete the sentence. Sinai is very _______.

a. much like her sister
b. stuck up
c. humble
d. Sinai

9. What is Sinai’s full name (not her title)?

a. Sinai The Best Blight
b. Sinai Wait-for-it Blight
c. Sinai Numbers (Numbers Don’t Lie) Blight
d. Sinai My Favorite Child Blight

10. Who is a dear friend of Sinai?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Ianis
d. Olivia

11. Who is another dear friend of Sinai?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Negev
d. Olivia

12. What is Sinai?

a. Rattus Norvegicus
b. Rattus Rattus
c. Sinainillius Thegreatus
d. Rattus norvegicus

13. What is Sinai’s lucky number?

a. 9
b. 9
c. 9
d. 9

14. What is your favorite rat’s favorite color?

a. green
b. grey (formerly clear)
c. pink
d. Olivia

15. Which does not belong on the list below?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

16. Sinai and Mojave are both siblings to wonderful and internationally beloved rats, and they also are both unworthy of being related to said internationally beloved rats. What is one difference between these two disgusting shames to their families?

a. One is a girl, the other a boy.
b. One is female, the other male.
c. There are no differences. Soigné is Mojave reincarnated
d. One is more feminine, the other more masculine.

17. Soigné has attempted to do all of the below to Sinai, except for…

a. strangle her
b. murder her
c. be nice to her
d. fatally wound her

18. Chub.

a. Flub.
b. Bub.
c. Chub.
d. Bear cub.

19. How easy is this quiz?

a. Very hard :'[
b. Challenging. :(
c. Super easy :D
d. In the middle :/

20. Well we are almost a fourth of the way through. Any words?

a. I love Sinai.
b. I really love Sinai.
c. I passionately love Sinai with all my heart! <3
d. I prefer Soigné.

21. If you answered D to the last question, please explain WHY you chose that particular answer.

a. D is my favorite letter
b. I guessed cuz I didn’t know what to put down
c. I did not choose D
d. I actually do prefer Soigné.

22. It feels like a perfect night…

a. to punish myself for picking D to the last two answers
b. to ask why did you have to bring Taylor Swift into this
c. to worship Sinai
d. to pick D as the answer again

23. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

a. Yadda yadda yadda
b. Uh huh uh huh
c. I love Sinai
d. I’m just going to keep on picking D

24. 24/6=?

a. 4
b. 4
c. 4
d. 183, 282, 190, 463

25. Just to clarify, who is your favorite rat again?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

26. Are you sure? Here is a second chance to change your answer.

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

27. This is your last chance. Pick who is your true favorite.

a. Sinai
b. Sinai
c. Sinai
d. Sinai

28. Who has the shortest, yet most dignified name of the listed below?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

29. If Train A leaves Sinaiville at 100 miles per hour, and Train B leaves Nainington at .01 miles per hour, which one has the sacred blessing of Sinai the Great bestowed upon it?

a. Train A
b. Train B
c. Sinai is too busy to bless trains
d. Sinai can bless trains?!

30. What is the most irrational fear listed below?

a. phobophobia
b. jimdandyphobia
c. sinaiphobia
d. paraskavedekatriaphobia

31. 2+2=?

a. 4
b. 5
c. Sinai
d. 22

32. Sinai is related to Soigné. Reaction?

a. :D
b. :)
c. OH GOOD GRACIOUS SINAI HOW CAN THIS BE?! Soigné is so unlike Sinai that I cannot believe it!
d. :'(

33. Soigné has two apples in one paw, three pears in another, fourteen watermelons in yet another, and eighty-six pineapples in her last paw. She also has nine cantaloupes in her mouth, five passion fruit balanced on her back, and a guava hovering above her head by evil witchcraft. Lastly, she has seventeen baby kiwis in her stomach and her tail wrapped around a durian. What does she have?

a. A lot of fruit.
b. 138 fruits, to be exact.
c. A day in court for robbing a fruit stand.
d. Really big paws.

34. What is Negev’s correct full title?

a. King Negev, Boss of You, Ruler of the World and Master of the Universe
b. King Negev Boss of You, Ruler of the World, and Master of the Universe
c. King Negev, Boss of You, Ruler of the World, and Master of the Universe
d. King Negev, Boss Of You, Ruler Of The World, And Master Of The Universe

35. What color is Negev’s fur?

a. tan
b. white
c. tan and white
d. white and tan

36. What is the general direction of weather in the United States?

a. downhill
b. up to down
c. west to east
d. North West to Kim Kardashian

37. x

a. y
b. z
c. Sinai
d. 0

38. Sinai is all of the following except…

a. Divine Ruler of Everything
b. very humble
c. Soigné
d. internationally beloved

39. Why did the chicken cross the road?

a. To get to the other side.
b. Because he wanted to.
c. He saw Sinai on the other side and wanted her pawtograph
d. Someone pushed him

40. For T to be acknowledged in the alphabet, what must happen?

a. it must pick a place among the letters
b. someone must put it in
c. it must ask for Sinai’s blessing to be included
d. it already is

41. Who is your favorite rat (please answer again)?

a. Sinai
b. Sinai
c. Sinai
d. Sinai

42. 7*6=?

a. 42
b. 42
c. Sinai
d. 42

43. You start coughing. What should you do?

a. See the doctor
b. Have a cough drop
c. Accuse Soigné of poisoning you
d. Cover your mouth

44. Continue the pattern: 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, ?

a. 4
b. 4
c. Sinai
d. 4

45. How much does Sinai weigh?

a. 1 lb.
b. 2 lbs.
c. 10 tons
d. 3 lbs.

46. What type of tail does your favorite rat have?

a. brown and crusty
b. monochromatic and pink
c. multicolored and beautiful
d. furry and catlike

47. You had it figured out since you were in school/Everybody loves ______, everybody loves ______.

a. pretty & cool
b. thread & a spool
c. Sinai & Sinai-ool
d. not Taylor Swift again!

48. What question would this be in base twelve?

a. 40
b. 4A
c. Sinai
d. Base twelve?

49. In what year was Rome founded?

a. 753 BCE
b. 357 BCE
c. When Sinai told it to
d. 537 BCE

50. Soigné’s name means

a. elegant
b. sleek
c. Sinai’s ugly sister that nobody likes
d. well groomed

51. What is a yepsen?

a. The two hands cupped together
b. A yep… sen
c. Not worth my time as it has nothing to do with Sinai
d. Nespey backwards

52. What does natiform mean, then?

a. shaped like a butt
b. shaped like a gnat
c. Still not worth my time, as Sinai does not have a natiform face
d. A nat… i… form

53. When was you favorite rat born?

a. August 4
b. April 12
c. May 9
d. April sometime

54. Why does February have only 28 days?

a. Augustus wanted 31 days in his month like how his dad had 31 in his (July), so he stole one from February.
b. It wants to be that way.
c. Sinai told it that since it did not worship her for long enough one day, it would only have 28 days.
d. Because it does.

55. Who has the worst sibling ever?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

56. Who is not Sinai?

a. Evajom
b. Éngios
c. Ianis
d. Aivilo

57. How old would Sinai be in rat years if she was 2 human years old?

a. 60
b. 2
c. Trick question, Sinai has been granted eternal youth
d. 14

58. Don’t say yes, run away now/I’ll meet you when you’re out of the church at the back door/Don’t wait, or say a single vow/You need to hear me out/And they said “____________.”

a. Speak now
b. Moo, I’m a cow
c. I love Sinai ouch Soigné bit me for saying that ow
d. Stop referencing Taylor Swift

59. Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxy…?

a. z
b. Next time, won’t you sing with me?
c. Sinai
d. z

60. Xoaisudfoiadusfkmndklafjduoiusfoaiudiouafweoiutfo ajsdkl;fjai;odsfuioadsufpasoudhfiocjklzjvi;aodspufoidsufoiasudfoiw094t8u209458t2049cko

a. What is this nonsense?!
b. Gibberish….
c. Sinai
d. xiou2098dnoiu ?

61. What does Soigné waste her huge paycheck on that is completely useless?

a. She doesn’t get a huge paycheck
b. She is forced to spend her paycheck for her sister
c. Toilet paper, toothpaste, and electricity
d. She hasn’t actually been paid in years

62. Finish the sentence: The most delightful, charming, funny, witty, hilarious, smart, intelligent, cute, adorable, kind, extraordinary, remarkable, attractive, lovable, beautiful, wonderful, and humble rat ever is _______.

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

63. Of the listed rats below, who is the most powerful being?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

64. What is the square root of 64?

a. 8
b. 8
c. Sinai
d. 8

65. The Panama Canal connects…

a. The Pacific and the Atlantic Oceans
b. The Atlantic and the Pacific Oceans
c. Sinai and Sinai
d. The Pacific and the Atlantic

66. Hup hup chup chup

a. Chup
b. Hup
c. Sinai
d. Hup chup

67. Which rat said this? “I am not Sinai”

a. Evajom
b. Éngios
c. Ianis
d. Aivilo

68. Who is the most unworthy rodent to walk the earth, especially of her gracious and loving sister?

a. Olivia
b. Sinai
c. Soigné
d. Mojave

69. The names below have been spelled incorrectly. Can you still figure out which rat is the greatest and most internationally beloved?

a. Mohavy
b. Swanyay
c. SIGH NIGH z– PICK THIS ONE
d. Aliveeyah

70. Which pair of siblings below is correctly matched?

a. Mojave & Dimples
b. Soigné & Ianis
c. Sinai & Soigné
d. Olivia & No One

71. Only ten more questions to go! What is a word that rhymes with “ten”?

a. pen
b. men
c. Sinai-en
d. hen

72. What number would you add onto the end of 72 to get the number cubed?

a. 9
b. 10
c. Sinai
d. 8

73. Soigné has decided that she no longer wants all of her fruit and has decided to rob a candy store. She has sixteen lollipops, twenty-three hard candies, five boxes of chocolates, thirty-four gummy bears, a bag of marshmallows, one cash register, fifty-nine chocolate bars, one lamp, two square feet of tile, a former candy shop employee, twelve surveillance cameras, two sample counters, an open sign, and eight pounds of gummy worms all in one trash bag. If she puts her grubby paw into the bag, what will most likely happen?

a. She will take a chocolate bar out.
b. She will take a gummy worm out.
c. The former candy shop employee will bite her paw.
d. She will take a sample counter out.

74. What does time look like?

a. A wheel that never stops moving
b. A never stopping undulating line with possible wormholes between the curves
c. Sinai’s face
d. A river that flows in one direction

75. What is the purpose of life?

a. I have no idea.
b. I have often pondered this.
c. Sinai
d. Hmmmmm…

76. Who makes the best nail pawlisshe colors (hint: siPawlisshe)

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

77. If you do not pass this quiz, what will happen?

a. I will go on with life like it never happened.
b. I will feel sad, but I won’t mind. It’s only a quiz.
c. I will go into exile.
d. I will throw my computer on the ground and smash it into tiny pieces.

78. Who has the most soothing voicing ever heard?

a. Mojave
b. Soigné
c. Sinai
d. Olivia

79. Continue the pattern: ♥, ☺, ♥, •, ♥, ☺, ♥, •, ?

a. ♥
b. ☺
c. Sinai
d. •

80. What doesn’t lie?

a. Your quiz grade
b. Death
c. Sinai’s middle name
d. The truth

81. What is always the answer?

a. D
b. C
c. B
d. A

Bonus: (You have to get this right, too)

Will you pass this quiz?

a. Yes
b. No

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