Tag Archives: white and black

A Sinai Tale #13: The Rat Who Thought She Was More Important Than Her Sister (Even Though She Wasn’t) and What Happened to This Horribly Stuck-up Rodent

Soigné was a very ugly rodent child. She was white and black (ugh!) with normal-sized ears (ew!), buckteeth (nasty!), and a booger problem (disgusting!). She also smelled like the town dump.

Everyone acknowledged that Soigné was ugly. Well, not everyone really. Soigné didn’t think she was that ugly. In fact, she thought she was quite nice looking, even though she was obviously not.

Soigné had a rat sister whose name was Sinai. Sinai was the exact opposite of her sister. While Soigné could only speak in grunts, Sinai eloquently strung words together into beautiful examples of perfect English. Soigné’s belly was very small; Sinai’s was quite large and jiggly. And last of all, Sinai was internationally beloved by the masses, while Soigné couldn’t walk to the grocery store without getting tomatoes thrown at her head.

The horrible Soigné also had some behavioral problems. For example, she sometimes bit the paper-rat when he was too late delivering the paper (thus causing the paper-rat to not ever want to deliver it). She also occasionally stole clothing out of department stores and then blamed Sinai for her crimes. Sometimes, she even attempted to be in the same area of her more dignified sister, Sinai!

After a while, Sinai got sick of her sister acting like a crazy psycho, so she sat on her face, and all her Soigné-related troubles ended right there and then.

The end.

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Why I Hate Soigné – An Explanation by Sinai on Her Feelings For Her Sister (Quote$ #11)

007 (4)Sinai is very squished in the picture above. I wonder how that might have happened. Might her sister, Soigné, shoved her against the cage bars? It’s a possibility.

“Me don’t know why no one can understand why I hate my sister, Soigné. I mean, first of all, her name is impossible to spell. I only managed to spell it after checking her birth certificate nine times. I can never get whether the o is supposed to go before the i, or the i before the o. And then there’s that e. It is so annoying. I can never get which accent to put on it. I wish that she would just change her name to something more friend (like Iluvsinai), or even get a nickname so I don’t have to write that horrible name out whenever I refer to her without using pronouns or indirect references. Then she goes and shoves me against the cage bars when she wants to sit somewhere, which is very rude, because I am always there first. Me also don’t like her ugliness. She is, like, white and black. That is so ugly. Doesn’t she know that black and white have been the hot colors ever since May 9, 2012? (Coincidentally, that day is also my birthday.) Then she smells funny. She smells like my poop. (Just so you know, me don’t poop on her. I know it seems like I do, but I don’t. Really. I don’t lie.) Eww, right? And… yup, that’s all.”

Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything

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Ask Sinai #8: An Interview With an Internationally Beloved Rat Who Everyone Loves and Admires

Sinai Blight: Hi there! I’m Sinai Blight, here tonight with an interview with none other than the internationally beloved rat who everyone loves and admires, Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything! We are very privileged, blessed, grateful, and lucky to have this awesome rat here tonight. So, Sinai, how goes it?

Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything: I’m feeling very sinailicious today, Sinai! I am so pleased to be here. I really like your fur color. What is it?

SB: It’s a classic, black and white. I absolutely love it. It is so much more stylish and attractive than that gruesome white and black that so many rats accidentally wear when they’re really going for black and white.

STGDROE: I agree. My sister, Soigné, has white and black fur. It is atrocious and makes my eyes bleed each time I look at it for more than nine seconds. I can understand why rats mistake it for black and white, though. They think that the order of words doesn’t matter when it comes to color names when, really, it is of the utmost importance.

SB: Quite true. For example, everyone knows that red-orange and orange-red get different crayons, so why shouldn’t black and white and white and black be different?

STGDROE: Exactly! I’ve always thought the same!

SB: it’s almost like we had the same brain! [does a chuck-o] However, we can’t share the same face! Yours is stunning. I wish I had it.

STGDROE: Why, thank you, Sinai! I do enjoy my face. [does a chuck-o as well] Yours is pretty nice for a rat who isn’t me. It looks a lot like that of my dear friend, Ianis Th’glib.

SB: Thank you! Ianis has a lovely face. It kind of looks like yours, only it’s not yours, so it just isn’t the same. You know, some rats think that is Ianis is just you pretending to be another rat to look more popular! What do you think of that, O Noble One?

STGDROE: It’s poppycock, I say. Why would I ever do that? So what if her name backwards happens to be mine? So what if we haven’t ever been seen publicly in the same room? So what if she looks a lot like me? So what if her voice is as soothing as mine is? So what if her birthday is 9/5 and mine is 5/9? She and I are completely different individuals. I really wish rats would stop spreading that rumor around. I love Ianis, but I am not her. As Paula Deen would say, “I is what I is”… and she be what she be.

SB: I completely believe you. The only reason I asked you that is because my cruel indentured servant rodent, Soigné, threatened to stop working for me if I did not mention it. Luckily, she did not force me to fake-believe it.

STGDROE: Yes. If there is anyone out there who has never had a cruel indentured servant rodent blackmail them, why don’t you just pick up that large pebble and throw it so hard so that it causes my evil indentured servant rodent (coincidentally also named Soigné, it must be a common name) to become an amnesiac and forget all about wanting to be a vicious indentured servant rodent? [breaks down in practiced fake tears]

SB: I would, but I am not sure my aim is very good, and besides, I have had a cruel indentured servant rodent blackmail me. Although, I do wish you luck. And, it is strange that both of our indentured servant rodents are named Soigné. We certainly aren’t the same rat, so they couldn’t be the same Soigné… unless she had a second job?

STGDROE: That’s ridiculous. Mine can hardly do her first. I think that Soigné has just become the default name for malicious indentured servant rodents due to the fact that I am very popular, and therefore, rats know about my wicked indentured servant rodent and want to acknowledge their love for me by naming their own rotten indentured servant rodents after me. My name, however, is too precious to waste on a vile indentured servant rodent, so obviously, everyone has chosen to use my lowly sister’s name. I do not blame them.

SB: How interesting. Say, how is your sister doing? Is she warming up to working for you?

STGDROE: Sadly, no. Which is unfortunate, as her twenty-year anniversary of being my indentured servant rodent is approaching. In fact, she has taken to, instead of tidying, ruining my rooms. I appointed some rat off the street to watch her and make sure she doesn’t steal anything while I’m here, but he only would watch her for a little time. Oh! Looks like I’m going to leave now. I don’t want her to start trashing the entertainment wing.

SB: I understand. Well, goodbye for then.

STGDROE: Goodbye. You really are a nice rat. You could almost be me.

SB: Yes, but I’m obviously not! [does a litt-o chuck-o] Goodbye, Sinai Blight.

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The Rudeness of Soigné

Sinai 135

Some might call this photo a cute little picture of two rats having”fun” outside, but I call that poppycock. This is obviously a picture of Soigné (the ugly white and black rat that is cursing the ground with her evil touch) being very rude to her lovely and abused sister, Sinai (the cute black and white rat that is on the left). Not only is the evil Soigné cursing the ground (which is why it is rock and not fertile soil with grass), she is also shoving her ugly white butt in poor Sinai’s face! No one should ever have to look at a sibling’s rear end. It is just… unacceptable. Just look at the beleaguered Sinai’s expression, and you will know how traumatic this experience is. Sinai is clearly in shock. She knew that her sibling was rude, but she did not know just how rude Soigné is. ‘Tis a very tragic scene. Now go shun Soigné until she apologizes to Sinai/gives Sinai a ton of money.

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Seven Thoughts Sinai Would Not Think

What does Sinai think about? You will probably never know the answer to that question (as you are not Sinai), but you can know what Sinai wouldn’t think, which is almost as good as knowing what she does think. Here are seven thoughts that you’d never catch floating around in Sinai’s massive and very intelligent brain.

“White and black fur is better than black and white fur.”
Sinai would never think this because that would mean that she would be calling her sister, Soigné, more attractive than her own divine self, and that is a lie. Sinai is a very honest rat (she is more honest than Lincoln and Washington combined) and cannot tell a lie.

“White and black fur is the same as black and white fur.”
This is even worse than the previous thought because it is a known fact that beautiful black and white fur is not the same as disgusting white and black fur. It is a horrible crime to distort the truth even if only in one’s mind, and this is exactly what this thought is doing.

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Pictured above: A beautiful black and white rat (left) and a vile white and black white (right). You can clearly see how these different colors are exactly that– DIFFERENT.

“I am very stuck up and people only put up with me because my sister tells them to so.”
Sinai is not stuck up at all. In fact, she is very humble. And modest. And cute. And charming. And funny. And smart. And witty. And sweet. And lovable. And hilarious. And the envy of the town. And beautiful. And adorable. And stunning. And soft-furred. And popular. And intelligent. But mostly humble. Also, why would people not like her?

“Sometimes, I kind of overdoes when using adjectives and describing words and end up using fourteen when two would suffice.”
WHY, THIS IS POSTIVELY RIDICULOUS! It is also stupid, messed-up, a filthy lie, disgusting, poppycock, absurb, preposterous, unreasonable, outrageous, ludicrous, the work of Soigné, shocking, and insane thinking! Sinai never overdoes her adjectives.

“Meow.”
Sinai is not a cat, nor does she wish to be a cat, so naturally, she should not think cat sounds.

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This is a cat, also known as what Sinai is not.

“I under-appreciate my sister, Soigné and should try to be a better sistet in the future who values her more and puts her down less. Also, I should stop paying her such a bad salary and not force her to work as a servant at my royal palace.”
1.) Soigné CHOOSES to donate much of her very large salary to a charity that helps rats with names that begin with an S and rhyme with NaiNai, so that is Soigné’s choice. 2.) Sinai does not want to force Soigné to work, but Soigné was sentenced to life servitude at the palace of Sinai due to a very serious crime she committed (stealing an air particle from Sinai’s personal bubble). It was that or the death penalty. 3.) Soigné doesn’t have any value, so how can Sinai value her more?

“CELERITER LABORA ANCILLA!”
Sinai does not know Latin, so how can she think it? (Although, if she did know it, she’d be thinking and saying this all day long.)

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A Couple Haikus by Sinai

Sinai

I do love Sinai

Sinai Sinai Sinainai

She is amazing

 

Sinai the Sequel

Did I already

Say how much I love Sinai?

I don’t think I have.

 

Sinai No. 3

She is quite stunning

I love her with all my heart

Ah, Sinai… how great!

 

Swanyay

I do not like her

Ew she is so disgusting

Nasty little rat

 

The Smartest Rat

She is a genius

“Who might she be?” you wonder

None other than me

 

Black and White or White and Black?

Black and white is best

My sister is white and black.

I hate white and black.

 

Sounds I Make When I Eat

Chomp chomp gulp lick slurp

Yum chomp chompity chomp chomp

Lick lick lick chomp slurp

 

Sinai #4

Did you forget yet?

Sinai is so attractive

I really love her

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Sinai and Soigné Bond

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A Quick Quiz by Sinai

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A QUICK QUIZ BY SINAI

Please carefully think each question through before choosing an answer. There will be nine multiple choice questions and one essay to answer. An answer key will be provided on Sinai’s birthday (May 9th) so you may check your answers. Comment your essay on this article for it to be graded.


Multiple Choice

Questions #1-4 are based on the above picture. You may also use your outside knowledge to determine an answer.

1.) Who is the most attractive rat in the picture?
A. Soigné
B. Sinai
C. All of the above
D. None of the above

2.) What color is the rat in the foreground’s fur?
A. White
B. Black
C. White and Black
D. Black and White

3.) What is the full title of the adorable rodent in the background?
A. Sinai The Great, Divine Ruler Of Everything
B. Sinai, Divine Ruler of Everything
C. Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything
D. Sinai the Great, Divine Buler of Everything

4.) Is this question based on the photograph?
A. Yes
B. No
C. I don’t know
D. Maybe

5.) How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
A. 40 cords
B. A woodchuck cannot chuck wood
C. A woodchuck has better things to do in life than chucking wood.
D. A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as he could if a woodchuck could chuck wood

6.) Are you going to ace this test?
A. No
B. No
C. No
D. Certainly not!

7.) What is always the answer?
A. B
B. C
C. A
D. Not violence

8.) Jsjsbajqopndbsjjunekdl?
A. Hdjeba, hznunuuui
B. Jdiiijamllpemdpeb.
C. Iplkemw akdidbdh
D. Sjuq jsh wweris

9.) What is Sinai’s lucky number?
A. 3√729
B. 4+5
C. 3^2
D. -54/-6

Essay

Please answer this question in complete sentences. Comment your final answer below.

Sinai is a very beautiful and attractive rat. She has a most beautiful and delicate multicolored tail, but she also has silky smooth black and white fur. Not only that, but the little black spot on her large and very robust tummy is very charming and eye-catching. Her large ears that classify her as a dumbo rat are to die for, although you might want to stick around to gaze upon her snout.

Please choose what you think is Sinai’s most attractive and endearing feature andwrite about it in the comments below. You may choose one of the provided examples or decide on your own. It’s up to you. Requirements for the essay are:

• Must include reasoning behind your choice
• Must compliment Sinai multiple (ten or more) times
• Must be accurate and not include phony information
• Must paint a detailed picture of Sinai in one’s head
• Must be at least 5 paragraphs long
• Must include the sentence “I like sitting naked in a sewer while eating stinky cheese.”

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