Tag Archives: wood

Stuff You Never Knew You Could Eat (And That Would Taste Good)!

Hi! Me name is Sinai! Me gonna tell you all about all this tastilicious stuff you never knew what you could eat! Yup. From this article, which I made my sister, Swanyay, type (because me has much better things to do with my time than type stuff, you know #yoso #youonlysinaionce) you will learn so much about tasty stuff that you can eat. Now, me is unsure about what nutrition all this stuff has, and also, me not exactly sure if all of this stuff isn’t poisonous, you know. (I kinda made me sister eat much of what I write about here, so me is unsure about side effects, okay?) Anyhow, you want to read this article. Okay go on.


WOOD

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Oh ya, wood is soooo good. It taste just like paper, only kind of less pulpy, if you know what me is talking about. Okey dokey, if you don’t understand, me will now explain to you: wood is made from paper! Isn’t that such an interesting fact? See, what them wood-makers do is that they take a lot of paper, put it all in a giant cauldron full of V8 (that is why trees, which are also made of paper, have leaves), and chant magic spells every day at 6 pm for a week. After that, the paper magically changes into wood.

CLAW POLISH

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Yeah, so me didn’t really eat this. I kinda forced my ugly and otherwise useless sister to eat this kindly gave my dear sister the option to eat the claw polish, which she took. Anyhow, she say, “Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm… this has… an interesting taste,” which obviously means that it tastes so delishy! Also, as a bonus, it turned her tongue hot pink for a week!

MONEY

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This tasted very good and papery, but me wouldn’t recommend eating it unless you can eat someone else’s money.

CROTCH HAIR

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Just kidding! Don’t eat this, small subordinate citizens.

FLOWERS

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So one day me got a tiny bit hungry after my lazy sister, Swanyay, was late getting me my food. I naturally did not want to starve, because, you know, that is a horrible fate! What I did to not have to face this tragic fate which I would never wish upon meself was I went to the window box and picked a couple flowers. Me not sure exactly what flowers I ate, but they was very good (except for the red one with the nasty prickly things on its long green petal). Later, I even fed Swanyay this weird thing I found in the window box, and I am pretty sure she very much enjoyed it because right after she ate it, she rushed to the bathroom, where she naturally wanted to watch herself chew the funny looking flower. In case you wondering, it was this stubby thing with beige long petal and for the top, it was red with white polka dotties.

NATIO??? GEO??????????

AKA: SOME MAGAZINE WITH A YELLOW BORDER THINGY

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Mojave is pictured here eating his din-din, which is some weird magazine called “Natio Geo.” Actually, I am sure there are more letters in the name, but me can’t tell because stupid Mojave is covering them up. THANKS A LOT, MOJAVE.

FRUITS AND VEGETABLES

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Yeah, can you believe this? You can actually eat those weird things. Or at least my ugly sister, Soigné can. She says they taste good (me not sure if you can trust her, though). Also, they apparently are very healthy for you and can cause you to not be very robust like me, which, if me is thinking correctly, IS TERRIBLE! So actually, don’t eat fruits and vegetables. They make you skinny.

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A Quick Quiz by Sinai

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A QUICK QUIZ BY SINAI

Please carefully think each question through before choosing an answer. There will be nine multiple choice questions and one essay to answer. An answer key will be provided on Sinai’s birthday (May 9th) so you may check your answers. Comment your essay on this article for it to be graded.


Multiple Choice

Questions #1-4 are based on the above picture. You may also use your outside knowledge to determine an answer.

1.) Who is the most attractive rat in the picture?
A. Soigné
B. Sinai
C. All of the above
D. None of the above

2.) What color is the rat in the foreground’s fur?
A. White
B. Black
C. White and Black
D. Black and White

3.) What is the full title of the adorable rodent in the background?
A. Sinai The Great, Divine Ruler Of Everything
B. Sinai, Divine Ruler of Everything
C. Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything
D. Sinai the Great, Divine Buler of Everything

4.) Is this question based on the photograph?
A. Yes
B. No
C. I don’t know
D. Maybe

5.) How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
A. 40 cords
B. A woodchuck cannot chuck wood
C. A woodchuck has better things to do in life than chucking wood.
D. A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as he could if a woodchuck could chuck wood

6.) Are you going to ace this test?
A. No
B. No
C. No
D. Certainly not!

7.) What is always the answer?
A. B
B. C
C. A
D. Not violence

8.) Jsjsbajqopndbsjjunekdl?
A. Hdjeba, hznunuuui
B. Jdiiijamllpemdpeb.
C. Iplkemw akdidbdh
D. Sjuq jsh wweris

9.) What is Sinai’s lucky number?
A. 3√729
B. 4+5
C. 3^2
D. -54/-6

Essay

Please answer this question in complete sentences. Comment your final answer below.

Sinai is a very beautiful and attractive rat. She has a most beautiful and delicate multicolored tail, but she also has silky smooth black and white fur. Not only that, but the little black spot on her large and very robust tummy is very charming and eye-catching. Her large ears that classify her as a dumbo rat are to die for, although you might want to stick around to gaze upon her snout.

Please choose what you think is Sinai’s most attractive and endearing feature andwrite about it in the comments below. You may choose one of the provided examples or decide on your own. It’s up to you. Requirements for the essay are:

• Must include reasoning behind your choice
• Must compliment Sinai multiple (ten or more) times
• Must be accurate and not include phony information
• Must paint a detailed picture of Sinai in one’s head
• Must be at least 5 paragraphs long
• Must include the sentence “I like sitting naked in a sewer while eating stinky cheese.”

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