A Sinai Tale #14: Sinai Shops for Chocolate

Sinai was very excited. She had finally convinced (if you count blackmailing to be “convincing”) her horrid and awful and ugly and stinky sister, Soigné, to give her money, and it was time to shop for chocolates! YAY. Sinai hadn’t eaten chocolate in, like, three days. I know right, how depressing! No one, especially the Divine Ruler of Everything, should have to go three days without eating chocolate.

Sinai would have bought chocolate earlier, but the problem was that all of the chocolate shops had been sold out the day she tried to buy some. She didn’t know why; after all, it’s not like anything special happens on February 14th! Why did rats all need to buy chocolate on that specific day? Couldn’t they respect the fact that the amazing and divine and all-around wonderful Sinai the Great wanted to buy chocolate too, and that she wouldn’t be able too if they bought it all? Some rats are just so rude!

Anyhow, Sinai finally found a store that still had chocolate left. It was called “Amazon Dot Com,” and it literally sold tons of chocolate. There was just one problem: Sinai couldn’t taste or smell any of the chocolate she wanted to buy. Oh well, she would just have to buy all of the chocolate! If Sinai didn’t like some, she could just fatten Soigné up with it and save on the heating bill. Thankfully, for some odd reason, all of the chocolate was priced very cheaply. Sinai did not know why, but she didn’t question anything.

The beautiful and all powerful rat sat down at her desk and turned on her computer. Soigné had told Sinai that she would be able to find Amazon Dot Com by opening “Internet X Floorer,” whatever that is, and then typing “Amazon Dot Com” in the URL bar (??????). Sinai tried to find Internet X Floorer, but she could only find a giant “e” that said “Internet Explorer” underneath it.

“Help me, Soigné!” screeched Sinai. “HELP!!!! AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!”

Soigné, who thought Sinai was going into cardiac arrest, ran into the office. She saw Sinai flailing around the computer and realized what was really going on. “Sinai, click the giant ‘e.’ You can get into Internet Explorer that way.”

“HUh?” asked Sinai. She scratched her lovely black-furred head. “What you talking about?!”

“Um, click the giant ‘e.'” stated Soigné again.

“What, this?” inquired Sinai, with her cursor hovering over the Internet Explorer shortcut. “You told me to open Internet X Floorer, not Internet Explorer.”

“Yes that! Click it,” replied Soigné. “And I said ‘Internet Explorer.'”

“Why? You wrong, too, you very wrong.” squeaked Sinai.

Soigné sighed and explained, “Because I said so, and I’m not wrong. You just have bad hearing.”

“But why? And me no have bad hearing! Me perfect. Me behead you for disrespecting me.”

“Because… and that’s not legal.” (Soigné sometimes wondered if her sister completely posessed sanity.)

“OKAY WOMAN I ASKING WHY, AND WHO CARES IF IT LEGAL, I AM THE GOVERNMENT.”

“Because!! And you know what, if you don’t know how to access the Internet, I don’t think I will help you buy chocolates.”

“Okay,” said Sinai before opening Google Chrome. “Go away, then. I don’t really like you, anyways.”

Sinai shooed Soigné out of the room, and went to Amazon Dot Com. She looked up “chocolates” and found a lot of nice candies which she proceeded to add to her cart. The end.

A Sinai Tale #13: The Rat Who Thought She Was More Important Than Her Sister (Even Though She Wasn’t) and What Happened to This Horribly Stuck-up Rodent

Soigné was a very ugly rodent child. She was white and black (ugh!) with normal-sized ears (ew!), buckteeth (nasty!), and a booger problem (disgusting!). She also smelled like the town dump.

Everyone acknowledged that Soigné was ugly. Well, not everyone really. Soigné didn’t think she was that ugly. In fact, she thought she was quite nice looking, even though she was obviously not.

Soigné had a rat sister whose name was Sinai. Sinai was the exact opposite of her sister. While Soigné could only speak in grunts, Sinai eloquently strung words together into beautiful examples of perfect English. Soigné’s belly was very small; Sinai’s was quite large and jiggly. And last of all, Sinai was internationally beloved by the masses, while Soigné couldn’t walk to the grocery store without getting tomatoes thrown at her head.

The horrible Soigné also had some behavioral problems. For example, she sometimes bit the paper-rat when he was too late delivering the paper (thus causing the paper-rat to not ever want to deliver it). She also occasionally stole clothing out of department stores and then blamed Sinai for her crimes. Sometimes, she even attempted to be in the same area of her more dignified sister, Sinai!

After a while, Sinai got sick of her sister acting like a crazy psycho, so she sat on her face, and all her Soigné-related troubles ended right there and then.

The end.

A Sinai Tale #12: 299 WORD AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF SINAI

In celebration of this being the 100th post tagged “Sinai,” Sinai has written a short 299 word autobiography so that you can know more about her. #sinai

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Me was born on top of cloud which floated down to earth. Me was an adorable baby. Me was black and white with little black spot. However sadly, when me floated down to earth, me ugly sister known as Swanyay suddenly appeared on me cloud. She say, “Sinai, because you be such a darling angle* of a child, you must have me as you sister! It is the only way.” I try to push her off of cloud so she don’t bug me no more, but suddenly me mommy appear and tell me, with tears in her eyes, that it was decreed at me birth that me should have pain-in-the-tail sister to bring me down to earth. Ya, like I need that– me has giant floaty cloud! Anyhow, me accept that ugly Swanyay be my sister and no way to get rid of her. : ( Ya so after that, me reach earth with me ugly sister. Me arrived at huge golden palace, which was obviously meant to be owned by me. Me move in and me was even kind enough to give Swanyay her own room, which was in the room with the horses. Anyhow, week after me arrive, old cranky man come to palace and start yelling me for “trespassing”, wutever that is. Well, me arrested him, and he is still serving his time for insulting the divine ruler of the world. After me got over that incident, me continued to grow and blossom in my shiny castle. The only problems I had was when Swanyay didn’t clean my room, which happened very often actually. But then I threatened to arrest her, and now she always be cleaning me room on time. I continue to be good and kind, and now me is Divine ruler of Everything.

the End!

*Note: Me really was an angle when me was a baby. Me was an acute angle.

A Sinai Tale #11: A Short But Tragic Tale

Once upon a time, this rat did not exist… but now, she does. Alas.

The end

A Sinai Tale #10: DENIAL – A Story With a Moral

There once was a very furry cat who had fur the color of her fur. This cat was known as Olivia, and she lived a very easy life. She lived with two humans, another cat, and also two rats. Olivia never spent time with anyone except for her humans, so she did not even know she was living with other animals until she realized that all of her food disappearing wasn’t due to magic.

Olivia wasn’t too fazed by the discovery of another cat, but that was before she discovered the other two animals she was living with– a fat black and white chumpy rat named Sigh Nigh and her “dingaling sister,” Swanyay.

The cat discovered the two rodents on one average day (comfortable temperature with not a chance of rain) when she was exploring her house. She had suddenly discovered an orange room where she had thought there was only a decorative door, and it was in this room that she found the fat rat and her sister.

Now, Olivia was very shocked to find the rats. She had always thought that rats were like tiny cats, but the ones that she saw (which said that they really were rats) looked nothing at all like tiny cats! First of all, they had extremely pointy noses, and someome had cur their ears into a disturbing round shape. Also, the rats had, instead of fur, peach fuzz on their feet. Both of the rats looked like they didn’t have necks (?!), and the fat one, Sigh Nigh, was extremely pear shaped. Olivia was very frightened by the messed-up creatures, but when she saw their tails, she almost fainted.

They had stringy naked tails that looked scaly, which was nothing like Olivia’s fluffy and furry tail.

The scared cat thought that she might be able to get away from the demented rats without them seeing her, but alas, that was not to happen. As soon as Olivia put one paw down to try and retreat, the fat Sigh Nigh whipped around and instantly noticed Olivia.

“Yo kitty, why you be looking so weird?” asked Sigh Nigh. “What’s with the flat nose, the nasty elf ears, and the furry tail? Them make you look really odd looking, you know. Here, in case you don’t know, this is me tail. It is very trendy to have a hairless tail, you know. Also, they be easy to clean.” Sigh Nigh reached out to Olivia with her tail, but sadly Olivia was so scared of the rats that she did not register what Sigh Nigh was saying. All she heard was “Squeak squeak I’m really scary roar,” and all she saw was a frightening naked tail coming straight to her face.

That was the breaking point. The terrified cat immediately curled up and turned her face away from Sigh Nigh’s menacing tail. She promised to herself that she would not leave the pillow she was sitting on until the rat grew hair on her tail.

To this day, Olivia sits on her pillow in denial of reality.

Moral: Sinai is a cute rat!

A Sinai Tale #9: Why Science Is Evil

Science is bad because it is interrupting my holy and sacred nap time. THANKS A LOT, EVOLUTION FOR CREATING THIS CREATURE THAT CAN’T EVEN RESPECT ME AND MY BEAUTY SLEEP.

Science is evil. People make it seem all great and stuff, but really, it is terrible. Science is the reason why Sinai cannot just wish for more servant rats and see them magically appear. Science is the reason why Sinai is related to her awful sister, Soigné. Science is the reason why Sinai is related to her terrible sister, Soigné. And science is the reason Sinai is related to her disgusting sister, Soigné.

Curse you, science. Oh wait, I can’t do that. Science doesn’t let me curse people.

But the worst of all the things that science is responsible is this thing that is so horrifying that even Soigné looks like a cute bunny in comparison.

Oh science, how could you be so cruel? I can’t believe that you let this atrocity to happen!

Yes, science is the reason that the evil Mojoigné exists. If not for science, this vicious beast may have never been created… but alas, it has.

Mojoigné– a combination of the two worst siblings ever (Soigné and Mojave), is all thanks to a science experiment gone horribly wrong.

You see, one day, the ever so charming Sinai the Great, was feeling a bit peckish. However, her tiny pantry building (a meager 2000 square feet!), did not have the taste she was looking for. As Sinai really was craving a certain taste, she decided to combine what she did have. The very cute Sinai took some doughnuts, fried twinkies, french fries, waffle mix, sugar, whole milk, chocolate syrup, yogurt, and whipped cream, and headed for the kitchen. Halfway there, she remembered that it was being renovated (again, ugh), so she headed towards her sister’s laboratory, which had a hot plate.

When she reached the lab, her ugly sister came out to greet her. Soigné’s greedy eyes immediately saw the doughnuts, which she grabbed in a nanosecond. After grubbing around with her dirty and very unsanitary paws for a minute, she finally stole a glazed doughnut and one with sprinkles on it and handed the box to her annoying and equally gross friend, Mojave (who also happened to be the ungrateful brother of the wonderful King Negev, Boss of You, Ruler of the World, and Master of the Universe).

“Hey! Quit infecting my doughnuts, you filthy parasite!” screeched Sinai, seeing Mojave stick his greasy, dirty paws all over her doughnuts.

Mojave did not reply. He just stuffed a jelly doughnut in his fat, slobbery and needy mouth.

After wrestling with the disgustingly grimy duo, Sinai finally got the doughnuts back. She then went into the laboratory, took all the keys to it, and locked herself inside. She did not want or need the pair to suddenly burst in, grab her chocolate syrup and squirt it all over their already oily and dirty faces.

Sinai took all of her ingredients except for the donuts and shoved them into a test tube. After pondering for a while, Sinai finally decided on a powdered donut and shoved it in the test tube with her delicate and attractive paws. She did not really know how to use a hot plate, so she put the tube on it and waited for her donut to get even more golden brown.

The beautiful Sinai had been hearing scratching noises with her sensitive and acute hearing all this time, so she finally got up to check them out. After looking out a couple windows, the intelligent Sinai found the source: Soigné and Mojave had noticed that they had been locked out of the lab, and they wanted to come back in. Sinai could hear them wailing about how they never meant to take her doughnuts and were really sorry (likely story) even from inside.

Sinai was about to make a really rude gesture quite unlike her normal polite self at the two useless rats, but then she heard a loud explosion from the area that the hot plate was located in.

The lovely rat quickly rushed back to her test tube… only to discover a monster that came to be known as Mojoigné.

Mojoigné was like a nightmare come to life. It had Soigné’s ugly face, greasy black fur, and beady eyes for its head, but for its body, it had Mojave’s disgustingly flabby body with his straw-like and ungroomed fur sticking out in every direction. What was even worse, the Soigné part was completely unsaturated and GREY, while the Mojave part was a disgusting GREEN– the two rats’ favorite colors.

Sinai, despite being quite brave, was scared to her bones. “Aye yai yai,” she squeaked to herself. “Not only do I have to look at this terrifying thing, but I also did not get my food! I wonder how this thing evenhappened. I guess both Soigné and Mojave got their DNA all over my doughnut while they were rifling around the box, and the combination of different settings allowed this to happen. Well remind me to never combine those foods together ever again.”

The evil and angry Mojoigné turned to Sinai and growled, “Do you got any DOUGHNUTS?”

The trembling but courageous Sinai replied, “Try the box right next to the hot plate.”

“Me already eat them all. Now, where more?” Mojoigné angrily inquired.

“Um, there’s a doughnut shop down the road,” said Sinai (even though the doughnut shop was slightly further than that).

Luckily, Mojoigné was very dumb, like both his front and back parts. “Okay,” he grunted before crashing through a laboratory wall and effectively destroying the entire building. On the way to the doughnut shop, he stepped on both Mojave and Soigné (who were both shocked to see him).

To this day, Mojoigné roams across the country searching for doughnut shops that he can raid. So if you ever go to a donut shop and get stepped on by a giany, doughnut lusting monster, you will know whose fault it is for the creation of this terror: SCIENCE.

the end

P.S. In case anyone says anything… I never failed no test in skool! I didint fale no math, no history, no foreign lanuage, no science, no engliSh exam! So don’t believe nobody who say I do (if they say I do). **** $1N@! ****

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Mojoigné isn’t real. He is just Sinai’s way of making herself feel better about failing her third grade science class years ago and also her way of making herself feel better than me. Don’t believe a word she said. ~ Soigné

A Sinai Tale #8: The Most Delightful and Positively Radiant Tale You Will Ever Read That is Sure to Leave a Good Impression on You (By Guest Author, King Negev, Boss of You, Ruler of the World, and Master of the Universe)

“Negev negev negev negev. Negev. Negev… negev, negev negev. Negev negev; negev negev negev negev. Negev negv, negev negev. Negev. Negev– negev. Negev, negev negev.”

– Negev Negev Negev, Negev

Negev negev negev. Negev! Negev negev negev negev, negev negev, negev. Negev? Negev negev. Negev (negev negev negev) negev negev, negev. Negev. Negev negev, negev. Negev negev negev, negev! “Negev negev, negev. Negev. Negev. Negev negev negev negev, negev. Negev negev; negev negev negev negev. Negev,” negev negev negev. Negev, negev negev? Negev. Negev negev negev negev negev, negev negev negev! Negev, negev negev $negev.negev. Negev, negev… negev.

Negev! Negev negev negev negev negev negev, negev negev negev… negev negev negev. Negev. Negev? Negev negev. Negev, negev.

I. Negev
II. Negev– negev negev
III. Negev negev
IV. Negev, negev
V. Negev; negev negev negev.

Negev negev negev. Negev. Negev; negev negev.

Negev negev negev negev. Negev negev; negev! Negev. Negev. Negev.

NEGEV! Negev negev negev negev negev, negev. Negev negev negev negev negev negev– negev negev. Negev negev.* Negev? Negev negev negev? Negev… negev negev negev, negev negev negev. “Negev negev negev– negev! Negev negev¢ negev negev negev. Negev, negev. Negev. Negev?” negev negev negev negev negev negev negev negev negev% negev negev, negev negev negev negev negev negev negev. Negev negev negev, negev… negev negev negev.

Negev negev. Negev… Negev negev negev, negev negev negev negev negev negev negev negev negev negev negev negev negev negev… negev, negev. Negev. Negev negev; negev negev, negev? Negev negev negev negev negev. Negev. Negev, negev negev negev negev, negev Negev negev negev negev negev negev negev negev negev negev, negev, negev negev negev negev, negev, negev, negev, negev negev negev negev.

Negev negev.

A Sinai Tale #7: The Adventures of Ianis (Who Is Totally Not Sinai Pretending to Be Another Rat So That She Looks More Popular With Others and Is 100% Real)

Once upon a time, there was a cute and friendly rat named Ianis Th’glib. Ianis was a very unique rat with a very happy personality, and yet, no one actually believed her when she said that she was her own individual self (which she prided herself on being). When she said that she was not the equally cute and friendly Divine Ruler of Everything, Sinai, pretending to be another rat just so she could look more popular, everyone rolled their eyes. “Yeah right,” they said, “You’re not Sinai if we aren’t rolling our beady accusing eyes that can’t process the fact that you might actually be your own individual self.” Ianis tried to tell them the truth, but they just brought up fake evidence that proved that she was Sinai. “Your name backwards is Sinai,” said the dimwitted and unbelieving rats after raiding her house for all proof that Ianis was a fake rat. “And your birthday is 9/5/2012, while Sinai’s is 5/9/2012. That is a really big coincidence.” Then they went on to make up a ton of untrue things that just made even more rats fall under the belief that Ianis was not real.

Ianis was very sad because of this. She could no longer go to the grocery store and buy yummy rat treats without some rat telling her to just give it up and go back to ruling the country. “But I’ve never even been in Sinai’s amazingly luxurious palace!” she would exclaim only to have even more beady and unbelieving eyes rolled at her.

After a while, it was just too much for the poor rat to take. She did not blame Sinai because it was not Sinai’s fault that everyone thought that Ianis was her. She also did not blame herself because she knew that she was born the way she was, and she didn’t want to pretend to be another rat to escape the scrutiny of the public eye (especially since everyone already thought that she was pretending to be herself). So, naturally, the last choice was to go on an epic quest to prove her individuality. Ianis decided that if she went to the very large and far away Mountains of Truth (anyone who went there was stripped of all the lies that surrounded them) and made a video diary of her journey (which she would post online), then everyone would believe her when she said that she wasn’t Sinai.

Immediately, Ianis prepared for her long and arduous journey to the very distant Mountains of Truth. “I must pack some food, some clothing, and most importantly, my camcorder so that I can record my video diary,” muttered the rat as she stuffed a backpack with all that she would need for her voyage. After she finished, she discovered that it was way too heavy for her to carry all the way to the mystical Mountains of Truth (which were a full miles away from her house), so she took out most of the food. (She kept all of her candy, though.) It was still too weighty (it didn’t help that her camcorder weighed ten pounds), so she dumped her changes of underwear and extra shirts. After she took out everything from her backpack except for her camcorder, candy, and bathing suit, it was finally light enough to carry all the way to the mountains. Wanting to get moving right away, Ianis locked the door of her house (she had also taken her house key) and embarked on the long and tiring trek to her destination.

After munching candy bars for ten minutes, Ianis noticed that she was dangerously low on food. “Hm, I wonder how that happened,” she wondered. Since she didn’t want to starve, she surveyed her surroundings and discovered that she was right by a bucket of free fruit. Happy to find this amazing discovery, Ianis loaded up her entire backpack with oranges, apples, and a couple pears as well. She did not really like fruit, but she couldn’t turn down this offer. It almost seemed as Fate herself wanted Ianis to survive her journey of truth.

Ianis marched on for another mile when she discovered that she was near a kind farmer’s fields. She was very tired from walking an entire mile that day, so she knocked on the farmer’s door.

It took the farmer a little while to reach the door, but he finally opened it. “Hello?” he said as he opened it. “Who are you?”

Ianis took a deep breath and introduced herself. She knew that if she said something wrong, she might have to sleep outside in the somewhat uncomfortable grass. “I am a poor traveler,” she said. “I have traveled a full one mile from hom home. Will you let me stay the night?”

The farmer stared at the weary rat with disbelief. “Are you kidding me? One ***** mile?! When I was your age, I walked a full ten miles to school each day and ten miles back! What a wimp! I also don’t know your name. The only circumstance in which I would let a rat like you stay under my roof would be if you paid me $500.”

Ianis pondered this. She knew she did not have $500 on her, but she did have her checkbook. Also, she was pretty sure the farmer would accept credit. However, she was unsure if she really wanted to dish up that much money for one night of comfort. It didn’t seem very explorer-like, and when she published her video diary, she wanted rats to focus on the truth of individuality, and not the fact that she paid $500 for a room on the first night of her journey. It did seem to make her seem kind of wimpy. Even if she did show the world that she was Ianis and only Ianis, she knew there was a chance that she would be called weak and picked on if she chose to stay at the not-so-kind farmer’s place. After thinking for a while, she decided to decline the farmer’s offer. It was too late, however. The farmer had already shut the door on Ianis hours ago.

With a sigh, Ianis continued into the night, seeking a place to sleep. She didn’t want to sleep anywhere muddy, but she also didn’t want to sleep on any dry and crinkly grass. She finally found the perfect patch of grass, but by that point, it was noon the next day. It seemed kind of ridiculous to stop for a rest now when she was already halfway through the second day, so she marched onward. She was kind of tired, and her eyelids kept on drooping over, but she didn’t stop until the sun set that evening. With a yawn, the tired rodent fell over and was asleep before she hit the lush grass that she had stopped on. (Before she went to bed, she did record Day 2 of her video diary.)

The next morning, Ianis woke up refreshed and started off. She had already traveled two and a half miles, so she knew that she only had half of her journey to the Mountains of Truth left. Even though she had eaten all of her food except for two pears, she felt that she would be well off to reach the mountains in two to three days. Then she would only have to make the return journey and post her video diary online so everyone could see how much of an individual she was and apologize to her for accusing her of being Sinai (not like Ianis didn’t like Sinai).

With the thought of all the cruel and unbelieving rats finally apologizing to her, Ianis confidently marched forward to the distant mountains. She finally reached the entrance to the mountains on Day 4 (ahead of time by one day). Ianis knew that walking forward would be a very big move that could show the world the truth. Taking a deep breath, she started up her camcorder and pressed “record”. Situating it on a tripod, Ianis waved at the camera and let all of her future viewers know what she was about to do. “I’m about to walk the Mountains of Truth,” she declared. “Now you will all see that I am truly my own rat and not another pretending to be me. The Mountains of Truth do not lie, as you know. I am going to stop talking now so you can watch it all unfold. By the end of this video, I know that you will have seen the truth of who I am– which is my own rat.” She then turned around and unlocked the gate that stopped rats who wanted to keep their lies floating around them from entering. Ianis slowly put one paw forward… then the other. She advanced slowly, knowing that the magical stripping of lies would occur within the next 250 feet.

After walking 500 feet, Ianis still felt nothing. She had passed the point of truth with nothing happening. This meant that she was wearing the truth now, and that she had always been. After standing where she was for a couple seconds, she returned to her camcorder and turned it off (but not without saying goodbye).  Packing it into her bag, Ianis started the return journey home, knowing that now everyone would believe her when she said that she was not Sinai.

Five days later, Ianis posted her video diary online. It got a million and two likes, and everyone apologized to her for saying that she was another rat. Finally, she was able to be just Ianis and not the rat that everyone thought was Sinai.

The End.

A Sinai Tale #6: The Water Battle

Once upon a time, there was a very thirsty rat. Her name was Ratalise, and she looked just like Sinai the Great. (She looked like the esteemed ruler because she had dyed her fur and gotten plastic surgery to look like her.) She had not drunk any water for twenty-three minutes, and she knew if she went any longer without being hydrated, she would die and never be heard from again. As Ratalise did not see any glasses of water near to her, she assumed that she would not be living to see another day. Sadly, she accepted her tragic fate and decided to say her last words.

“I love Sinai the Great. She is the world’s best leader ever, and she is very attractive. Also, she is intelligent, cute, soft, kindly, smart, charming, funny, pretty, witty, humorous, and humble,” said the sad and resigned rat. “I just wish I could have met her before I die of dehydration, that’s all.”

Suddenly, a loud and very soothing voice boomed out from the sky. “I am Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything! You may not have known this, but I have the ability to grant wishes to other less fortunate beings, and me being the kindly and generous rat I am, I will grant you one wish,” said the pleasing voice of the best universal leader ever. “What do you desire, small and lowly subordinate who I have chosen to have a wish granted by me, only the most kind, lovely, generous, selfless, and nice rat ever to be alive? Please make it quick, as I have a spa appointment in fifteen minutes that is very urgent and must be attended.”

Ratalise was so surprised she almost fainted. It had been her life dream to meet Sinai the Great in rat, but she had not expected her heroine to grant one of her wishes. As her greatest wish, to meet Sinai the Great, had been granted, Ratalise was unsure as to what she wanted. She did not want to turn down the very generous offer Sinai the Great had offered her, as Ratalise was very grateful to Sinai for offering a wish, and she wanted to show it. After pondering what she wanted for a few minutes, the small and thirsty rat finally announced what she desired to be granted. “O greatest Sinai the Great, you are a very generous and kindly rat. Thank you very much for offering to grant a wish of mine. I will be eternally grateful, and because of this, I will name my first, second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, and ninth ratlings after you. I spent a very large time asking myself what I desire most, as I do not want to waste your precious and valuable time on frivulous items, and I have finally come to a conclusion. The thing I would like most in the world is a well right here and right now so that I will not die from dehydration. If you could be so kind as to grant my single wish, I would be very happy and build you a temple of the ages to be worshipped in.”

“Hmmm…” said the great voice of the awe-inspiring Divine Ruler of Everything. “I don’t know if I can do a well, but I can give you a water bottle.”

“Oh, thank you!” cried the eternally grateful Ratalise as a bottle of water fell from the sky. “You have saved my life! I will never forget what you have done for me!”

Excited, Ratalise began to open her bottle of spring water. It was warm, but it was water. She wouldn’t be dying all alone of dehydration after all! She had just cracked open her bottle of water when another rat appeared.

Ratalise quickly analyzed the new rodent. She was definitely not anyone Ratalise knew, but she looked vaguely familiar. The rat was a dirty white with a black head and the dingiest looking tail ever. (It didn’t help that the tail was just one color and not multicolored like most great rodents’ are.) “Um…hello? Who are you?” asked Ratalise, wanting to know who the mystery rat was.

Flashing pristine white teeth (another sign that the rat was probably not very nice), the rodent introduced herself. “I am Siognè, an equally-evil clone. Now give me your water bottle. I desire a drink of warm water.”

“Well first of all, you are not getting my bottle of water. It is a gift from a very distinguished rat, and I do not wish to part with it. And secondly, who are you an equally-evil clone of?” inquired Ratalise while tightly clutching her water bottle. She did not Siognè, whoever she was the equally-evil clone of, to take her gift from Sinai the Great. If that did happen, Ratalise would die not only because of dehydration, but of depression as well.

“You’ll never guess!” cackled the evil rodent as she snatched Ratalise’s bottle of water and darted off.

“Noooooooooo!” cried Ratalise. Not wanting to die, she darted off in pursuit of the evil Siognè. “Give it back, you ! Give it back!”

Siognè had a head start, and she ran faster than Ratalise could, so she was quickly escaping along with the present Ratalise had received from her heroine. It was positively heartbreaking to see, and Ratalise might never have seen her water bottle again if someone had not been watching.

A rat from had a distance had watched the chase go one as she got ready for a relaxing day at the spa. She would not have done anything if the rats had not gotten so close to her living room window. When they had neared it, she realized she knew the rat who was chasing the one holding the bottle of water.

She also recognized the one with the water bottle.

With a sigh, she resigned herself to being late to her appointment, and she stepped outside.

“Stop, equally-evil clone of Soigné! I do not recall which one you are, as my sister has many, but you must drop the water bottle immediately and return it to the inferior subordinate rat chasing you, or you shall face the wrath of SINAI!” shouted Sinai the Great.

“I will never return this bottle of wa–” replied the equally-evil clone, Siognè, only to be zapped by Sinai’s EverydaySoigné™ Gun and disintegrate into miscroscopic particles immediately.

At first, Ratalise was exhausted from sprinting for such a long time. Then she was shocked at seeing Siognè immediately disintegrate. Finally, she was very grateful to Sinai the Great for saving her from the evil villain who had stolen her water bottle. “Oh, I don’t know what to say, Sinai the Great! I don’t think I will ever be able to repay you for all that you have done for me. You are truly a great rat,” squeaked Ratalise.

Sinai, being five minutes late to her spa appointment, quickly dismissed Ratalise. “Don’t bother, small subordinate rodent whose life and water bottle I have saved and who is eternally grateful to me for the good and irrepayable deeds I have done. Helping you was your payment,” boomed the great and honorable rodent. Then she snapped her fingers for a taxi to go to the spa.