A Conversation between Hodge and his Tail

Hodge : Who is the most adorable cat in the world?

Hodge’s tail : How am I supposed to know, I don’t have any eyes!

Hodge : I am!

Hodge’s tail : You are such an egotist.

Hodge : I love you, HODGE

Hodge’s tail : Seriously, stop that. It’s kind of freaky.

Hodge : You are the best and cutest cat ever.

Hodge’s tail : I think I am going to leave now.

Hodge : OW WHAT IS PULLING AT MY RUMP?!

Hodge’s tail : Oops i forgot I’m permanently attached to you.

Hodge : Who is adorable? I am!

Hodge’s tail : Here he goes again.

Hodge : Oh, look it’s my brother! Hello, Podge!

Podge : Oh no don’t tell me you’re talking to your tail again?

Hodge : My tail? Don’t be silly, I’m complimenting myself.

Podge : You are such an egotist!

Hodge’s tail : I know, right?

Podge’s tail : [twitches]

Hodge : WHAT WAS THAT

Podge’s tail : [twitches]

Podge : No, no! Stop twitching!

Hodge : How entrancing, I must play with that twitching furry item!

Podge : Stop, stop!!!!

Hodge : [starts biting Podge’s tail]

Podge’s tail : Help, the devil is after me!

Hodge : Yum yum yum

Hodge’s tail : I am feeling neglected. [twitches]

Hodge : Wow, what’s that?!

Podge : It’s your tail.

Hodge : Don’t be ridiculous, my tail doesn’t twitch that deliciously! [starts biting his own tail]

This Is Soigné Suffering From Species Confusion

Click to see Soigné embarrass herself! Hahahahaha!

How to Hashtag Like a Pro!

It’s very easy to hashtag! All you do is pick random words that slightly relate to your subject matter and slap a hashtag in front. Hashtags used to be limited to just Twitter, but now d-bags and Honda dealers around the world stick them in front of every single word they speak just to be more d-bag-ish. Sinai will show you just how easy it is to hashtag by using a picture of her. All you need is your brain, literacy, and creativity. A thesaurus is helpful if you are short on hashtags but can’t find anything else to use.

#sinai #cute #funny #sweet #adorable #charming #delightful #hilarious #pretty #beautiful #rat #rodent #rattusnorvegicus #attractive #smart #genius #intelligent #witty #punny #fancyrat #chubby #tail #multicoloredtail #prettytail #nice #plump #fatso #fatty #pleasantlyplump #lovable #likeable #snout #fur #hair #blackandwhite #blackandwhitefur #blackandwhitehair #notwhiteandblack #ihatewhiteandblack #whiteandblackisugly #hashtag #thisisahashtag #cuterat #cuteface #cutetail #nose #eye #othereye #eyes #nostril #internationallybeloved #remarkable #excellent #perfect #humble #shelf #cage #door #cagebars #wooddoor #greyshelf, #grayshelf, #ears, #dumborat, #bigears, #pinkears #soulfuleyes #sinaithegreat #sinaiblight #sinainumbersblight #sinainumbersnumbersdontlieblight #sinaithegreatdivinerulerofeverything #divineruler #divinerulerofeverything #stg #stgdroe #sb #snb #torso #furry #kind #fuzzy #fluffy #hairy #whiskers #shadow #amazing #hasalosersister #si #niley #sisi #nainai #smunny #dollarat #sbigcash #zwvasv #notianis #hasneverlied #animal #mammal #organism #alive #awake #darling #female #biggirl #chumpy #chump #chumpychump #chubba #photograph #photo #canbreathe #air #nitrogen #oxygen #o #watervapor #h2ovapor #carbondioxide #co2 #methane #gas #atmosphere #troposphere #earth #solarsystem #milkyway #milkywaygalaxy #theuniverse #doesnotoverusehashtags

A Sinai Tale #10: DENIAL – A Story With a Moral

There once was a very furry cat who had fur the color of her fur. This cat was known as Olivia, and she lived a very easy life. She lived with two humans, another cat, and also two rats. Olivia never spent time with anyone except for her humans, so she did not even know she was living with other animals until she realized that all of her food disappearing wasn’t due to magic.

Olivia wasn’t too fazed by the discovery of another cat, but that was before she discovered the other two animals she was living with– a fat black and white chumpy rat named Sigh Nigh and her “dingaling sister,” Swanyay.

The cat discovered the two rodents on one average day (comfortable temperature with not a chance of rain) when she was exploring her house. She had suddenly discovered an orange room where she had thought there was only a decorative door, and it was in this room that she found the fat rat and her sister.

Now, Olivia was very shocked to find the rats. She had always thought that rats were like tiny cats, but the ones that she saw (which said that they really were rats) looked nothing at all like tiny cats! First of all, they had extremely pointy noses, and someome had cur their ears into a disturbing round shape. Also, the rats had, instead of fur, peach fuzz on their feet. Both of the rats looked like they didn’t have necks (?!), and the fat one, Sigh Nigh, was extremely pear shaped. Olivia was very frightened by the messed-up creatures, but when she saw their tails, she almost fainted.

They had stringy naked tails that looked scaly, which was nothing like Olivia’s fluffy and furry tail.

The scared cat thought that she might be able to get away from the demented rats without them seeing her, but alas, that was not to happen. As soon as Olivia put one paw down to try and retreat, the fat Sigh Nigh whipped around and instantly noticed Olivia.

“Yo kitty, why you be looking so weird?” asked Sigh Nigh. “What’s with the flat nose, the nasty elf ears, and the furry tail? Them make you look really odd looking, you know. Here, in case you don’t know, this is me tail. It is very trendy to have a hairless tail, you know. Also, they be easy to clean.” Sigh Nigh reached out to Olivia with her tail, but sadly Olivia was so scared of the rats that she did not register what Sigh Nigh was saying. All she heard was “Squeak squeak I’m really scary roar,” and all she saw was a frightening naked tail coming straight to her face.

That was the breaking point. The terrified cat immediately curled up and turned her face away from Sigh Nigh’s menacing tail. She promised to herself that she would not leave the pillow she was sitting on until the rat grew hair on her tail.

To this day, Olivia sits on her pillow in denial of reality.

Moral: Sinai is a cute rat!

Proof That Soigné is Trying to Murder Sinai? (According to Sinai, At Least)

For some strange reason, Sinai the Great, despite being the most powerful rat alive, has always had this creeping feeling in the back of her adorable and very large and not at all hard head that her so-called “sister”, Soigné, has always been plotting to kill her. She’s never been able to prove it… until now, apparently. Sinai has been taking clues from Soigné’s “suspicious and very reckless behavior”, and now believe fully that her sister is actually a secret agent from a different universe set out to murder her and take over the UNIVERSE. (Because, as you know, Sinai the is self-appointed Divine Ruler of Everything, which includes the universe.)

Sinai has been trying to find a proper bodyguard to protect her from her vicious and plotting “sister”, but unfortunately, her only personal employee is… Soigné. Which doesn’t really help when the rat she wants to protect herself from happens to be the only rat currently working for her. (Sinai could try and hire some new rats, but she says she wouldn’t trust them, because who knows if they are also secret agents for either the same universe that Soigné comes from, or even yet another that wants to conquer hers? No one, that’s who. Well, except for the possible new employees. But it’s not like Sinai would be able to trust what they would say, as who knows what their origins are?)

Anyhow, Sinai is very concerned about her life, and she feels very threatened. But is she justified? You’ll have to decide that for yourself.

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WHY SINAI THINKS THAT HER SISTER IS TRYING TO MURDER HER: THE PICTURES

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Sinai was just trying to pose for the camera when her demented murderess of a sister tried to carry out her evil plans. Luckily, Sinai has quick reflexes. (Of course, she wouldn’t need them if her sister wasn’t a freaky blood lusting assassin.)

Here is Sinai, trying to sit down and enjoy some relaxation. Unfortunately, Soigné had to interfere again… by shoving her knife-like snout at Sinai’s nether-regions. Disgusting. Not to mention the fact that Sinai never ever said that she actually wanted to sit on Soigné’s grimy face in the first place.

Side view of previous picture. You can see that Sinai is hanging onto the cage bars for support. Poor little dearie. She’s such a kind and loving sister who has never wrongfully accused Soigné of anything, and now look what Soigné has done to show her gratitude. SHE MADE SINAI SIT ON HER.

 

This is not Soigné grooming Sinai. This is Soigné attempting to perform the death bite on Sinai’s poor, innocent neck. Boo hoo hoo. Again, this is not Sinai being groomed, if that’s what you think it is. It most certainly is not. Sinai said that she is not being groomed in this picture, and Sinai has not lied a day in her life, and she certainly is not planning to start now.

Sinai survived that traumatic experience, but unfortunately for her, Soigné is a very stubborn rodent who wants what she wants and is willing to do anything to get it. As you can see, she is trying to strangle Sinai with her disgusting and filthy monochromatic tail in this picture.

Here, Soigné is pointing her snout up. This is obviously proof of her malicious intentions because she is pointing her snout up. And pointing snouts up is terrible because they point up. If someone points his or her snout up, it is a clear sign that said rat wants to murder you in your sleep.

This is a shot of Soigné’s mouth with teeth visible. If she is comfortable with showing her teeth, she is probably comfortable with using them to bite innocent rats’ throats.

This is quite obviously a picture of Soigné attempted to flatten Sinai by sitting on her. I don’t know why Soigné has this weird obsession with rats sitting on other rats, but it’s quite likely she learned it from her Assassins Anonymous community group.

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So what do you think? Should Sinai be legitimately scared for her life, or is she just overreacting? Tell us your thoughts in the comments below.

Stop being naked!

Do you ever sometimes feel like your tail is just a little… naked? Well I know for a fact that you have. Don’t even try denying it, because you know it’s the truth. Tails are so overlooked in fashion these days. I mean, you can get fake tail coverings, but those just make your naked tail look like another naked tail, which is kind of not okay, especially if you are trying to stop being so naked on your tail. Well, lucky for you, SinaiByootie INC. (run by your favorite rat, Sinai) has created an accessory that goes on your tail and makes your tail stop looking so naked. It’s called… The Tayill Reen™!

What you look like before you get The Tayill Reen™: somewhat happy, but not nearly as happy as you could possibly be, as your tail is suffering the sad fate of being NAKED while the rest of you is obviously fully clothed. (Note: you are probably not this beautiful, nor will you ever be, as you are not Sinai the Great, and no one else in the world is nearly as beautiful as her.)

The Tayill Reen™ is a handy little ring that you slip onto your tail. (DUH!) All you have to do to prevent yourself from losing it is keep your tail sticking up in the air all day long and NEVER LET IT FALL TO THE GROUND, AS YOUR TAYILL REEN™ MIGHT JUST ROLL RIGHT OFF, AND YOU’D NEVER NOTICE UNTIL EVERYONE WAS LAUGHING AT YOU FOR HAVING A NAKED TAIL. That is very easy, though, and it is definitely worth tiring your tail muscles so that you do not have to walk around with a naked tail until you can find yours/buy a new one. (In case you are wondering, Sinai tried to make a no-slip Tayill Reen™, but the spikes that she inserted inside the ring ended up causing the test subject– who was not in any way related to Sinai, even distantly– some minor pain. Sinai did not want to cause her customers pain, no matter how minor, so therefore she pulled the ring. She did, however, let her test subject– who was still not even distantly related to Sinai– keep the ring if she wanted.)

The Tayill Reen™ also comes in a multitude of beautiful colors. For example, you can get it in the signature siPawlisshe color, Püpey™, or you can get it in a cool new color, which is called DharckPüpey™ (which is like Püpey™, only darker). The Tayill Reen™ even comes in some fun and peppy patterns– there’s stripes, dots, plaid, little Sinai heads, camo, gingham, paisley, check, scales, and more! (Patterns are available in both Püpey™ and DharckPüpey™ and in a unique color that is only available in patterns known as PhaydidPüpey™, which is like Püpey™, only faded.) Also, there are different finishes to the different colors (not included PhaydidPüpey™) if you don’t want a pattern, but you don’t want a plain color, either. You can get either of the two colors in sparkle, matte finish, textured, iridescent, or with Sinai’s fur in the ring (note: getting Sinai’s fur will cause the price to increase a little). But that’s not all! If you are the Divine Ruler of Everything, you can get The Tayill Reen™ in pink/purple/maroon/red/coral/orange/yellow/lime/green/turquoise/blue/indigo/24 karat gold/sterling silver (with or without patterns/special finish)! (If you are not, then you are not allowed to have fun somewhat more interesting and less barfy colors.)

Yes, these look slightly barfy. However, that does not mean that they are not also trendy. Just think of how great they would go with that booger hanging out of your nostril.

When you get The Tayill Reen™, you will feel suddenly lighter, as if you are no longer held down by the burden that your naked tail has been to your life. You haven’t noticed how heavy it is, since you have never lived without this boulder on your shoulders, or rather, your butt, but when you are suddenly relieved of it, you will be amazed at how great you feel. And who wouldn’t like to healthier and younger? Exactly!

This is you after you get your Tayill Reen™. Notice how much happier you are. Also, you are positively radiant and crying tears of joy. What a lovely sight. (Note: This is not really you. This is actually Sinai the Great, in case you suddenly thought that you were close to as beautiful as Sinai is. No illusions of grandeur for you.)

Are you convinced yet? Call (123) LUV SISI to order your inexpensive Tayill Reen™ today! You won’t regret your purchase, I guarantee it! (Costs: $999.99 plain, $1999.99 pattern, $2599.99 special finish, $5999.99 Sinai’s fur special finish, $0 if you are the Divine Ruler of Everything.)

Has Olivia Joined Soigné’s Evil Cause?

As you may already know, Sinai’s evil sister, Soigné, has started to recruit a secret army to ruin a world where happy multi-colored tails can exist in peace. Before, Sinai had been pretty sure that of all her friends, the only one who was involved with this dangerous plot to destroy life as we know it was Soigné (who does not really count because the only reason why Sinai even talks to her is because they are related). But now Sinai is not so sure. She isn’t sure, but she thinks that her cat friend, Olivia, may also be involved with Soigné’s vicious ways.

Pictured above: a cat who could quite possibly be thinking of all the multi-colored tails she wants to destroy. (Which is messed up, as she has a multi-colored tail herself.)

Sinai hasn’t seen any solid evidence for this, but the picture above does show Olivia looking pretty evil. I mean, just look at that brooding expression on the feline’s face. It definitely could be a sign of Olivia turning to the dark side. Or it could also be a sign of her feeling very constipated and needing to prepare for the bomb that is about to explode. (Or she could be thinking of the literal bomb that she is going to explode.)

And I thought that she was a nice kitty!

The problem with this is that Olivia herself has a multicolored tail. It is light orange with darker orange stripes and a white tip. It seems strange that a cat blessed with such a lovely tail would ever want to turn against her own kind. Unless she’s a traitor. Which is possible. But why? Why would a cat who was so lucky to have a beautiful tail that would be even nicer if it wasn’t so furry (and probably full of cat dandruff) suddenly not want it? Why would that very same cat want to destroy all others who had her tail type? WHY?

Who knew that she hated her tail so much? Personally, I can understand not liking the fur part of it, but why in the world would she not like the amazing array of colors that is presented on her butt appendage?

What do you think? Is Olivia a traitor? Or is she just an innocent cat who looks really suspicious (but isn’t)? Pray do tell. Help Sinai out by voting below.

King Negev’s Guide to Properly Raising Your Beloved Pet Rat (Especially If Its Name Starts With an N and Rhymes With Quegev)

Hello lowly subjects who read this blog of my best friend, Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything! I am King Negev, Boss of You, Ruler of the World, and Master of the Universe, but you can just call me “Your Majesty” , “King Negev”, “O Sacred God-like Royal Rodent” for short. I am the guest writer for today, as Sinai has been trapped in her house by Soigné’s rather large rear end (that refuses to move due to the fact that Soigné’s rather dense brain refuses to allow it) and therefore cannot write for this blog. Boo hoo hoo. How sad. It brings tears to my attractive and god-like rodent eyes. Obviously, she made a very wise choice for who her backup would be (how awful it would be if she had chosen her rotten sister!), as I have won quite a few awards for my writing skills (I have won the very prestigious Negev-Loves-Your-Writing Medal for the last four years). Not only are my works very pleasing to read, but they are also about great subjects that everyone wants to read about. Today, I am writing about how to properly raise your beloved pet rat (especially if its name starts with an N and rhymes with Quegev), which I know all of you readers will be ecstatic to read about! Not only is this a very educational post, but it also teaches you a lot of smart stuff that will make your beloved pet rat whose name probably starts with an N and rhymes with Quegev very happy. And I know you really want to make your beloved pet rat whose name starts with an N and rhymes with Quegev very happy (I can’t honestly speak for rats whose names do not start with an N and rhyme with Quegev).

(P.S. This is a bona fide signature that you should probably save because I am pretty sure that it will be worth a ton of money in a couple years after more humans are alerted of my existence. I don’t know why, but a lot of the humans I have spoken to have said that they have never heard of the lovable and delightful King Negev, Boss of You, Ruler of the World, and Master of the Universe, and also, they do not understand how a cute little rat like me can even speak English. I don’t know why they’re so confused. It’s not like they’ve never been spoken to by a cute little rat before. Actually, you know what, they probably haven’t, as I am the cutest little rat that ever existed. All of the other ones, except for Sinai, were pretty unattractive, at least compared to my glorious face.)

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King Negev’s Amazing Successful Guide to Properly Raising Your Beloved Pet Rat (Especially If Its Name Starts With an N and Rhymes With Quegev) That You Will Not Regret At All Reading As It Will Very Much Please Your Beloved Pet Rat Whose Name Starts With an N and Rhymes With Quegev and Therefore Will Cause It To Love You Even More Than It Already Does For Giving It A Lovely and Wonderful Name That Starts With an N and Rhymes With Quegev That All of Its Rat Friends Are Jealous Of

So you want to properly raise your beloved pet rat whose name starts with an N and rhymes with Quegev? I totally understand why you want to do that. Fancy rats are just so cute and fun to be around (especially me) that naturally, you want to make sure your own has a very happy life and does not regret a single second of it. However, to make your pet rat 100% happy, you will have to work very hard. It’s not easy pleasing rats, as some can be very finicky. Here are King Negev’s best tips to making your rat’s life the best it can be.

Tip 1: First of all, you should make sure that your rat has a very nice name that is pleasing to the ear. It can be very tough to choose such a name for a rat, as there are several out there that certain owners may like, but then it turns out that their rat hates it. If you are looking for the perfect name, I suggest anything that starts with an N and rhymes with Quegev. A name like that will make your rat feel very special and good inside. (Examples include but are not limited to: Negev, Nnnnnegev, Nnegev, Nhegev, Negev, Nnegev, NegEv, Negevve, Negevh, Nnnnnnnnegev, Neghev, Negefv, Nnnneggev, Negevphv, Negevv. Gnegev and Knegev are also acceptable.)

I love my name, and it starts with an N and rhymes with Quegev. Who knew?!

Tip 2: Embrace the fact that your rat probably does not want a companion if it will just be a bum and bite your favorite rat’s tail. Not like that’s happened to me ever /sarcasm. If your rat ever shows discomfort around a companion who you bought mainly just to provide company for your original (and also preferred) rat, you should probably take the second rat away to a mental asylum because it is probably mentally harming the other rat (don’t forget to get a replacement rat so that your rat at home is not having to live alone). It could also be physically harming it, but I’m pretty sure that would be more obvious to the human eye. You should, however, try to provide a companion because you do not want your beloved pet fancy rat to be all lonely. If you cannot afford another rat, just tote your rodent around wherever you go, and that should make up for the lack of friendship.

When you go looking for a friend for your rat, make sure to carefully analyze any options. If you see a rat that kind of looks like this and has a name that starts with M and is also the name of a desert, you should MOST DEFINITELY NOT GET IT AS IT IS DEFINITELY THE DEVIL TRYING TO RUIN YOUR RAT’S LIFE AND MAKE IT COMPLETELY MISERABLE. I do not care if the rat is supposedly “related” to your rat. You should still not get it. Don’t risk losing your rat’s beautiful tail.

Tip 3: Make your rat’s habitat a nice looking place. Would you like to live in a box with ugly metal bars on every single wall? No? I didn’t think so. If you cannot avoid buying a habitat like the one I previously described, try to at least make it look nice. Like maybe paint the bars your rat’s favorite color.

My owner never did get around to painting my cage bars purple (which is my favorite color, as everyone knows), but she did buy me this beautiful cheetah print hammock. I also had a zebra print one, but I accidentally ate that one. (IT’S NOT MY FAULT. I have a naturally gnawing instinct, and it was the first thing I could find. Besides, it tasted really good. Can’t judge me until you’ve eaten hammock yourself.)

Tip 4: Allow your rat to frolic outside of its normal environment. No rat likes to be confined to one space, no matter how pretty it is, so you should take it out for a walk a couple times an hour. Also provide ample space for it to run around like the wild rodents it was descended from. (I do not recommend letting it play near any landfills because then that could cause your rat to become dirty and who knows how awful an experience that would be for your beloved pet rat whose name starts with an N and rhymes with Quegev.)

Just think of how much fun it is for your rat when he or she goes out to sniff the ground. Have you ever smelled grass? It is so much fun. I could do it all day long and never get bored. Well, technically, I would still have to rule my very vast and thriving kingdom, but otherwise, I could do nothing else and be entertained.

Tip 5: Make sure you always feed your rat the most delicious (which may or may not also be the most nutritious) rat food you can find. It does not matter how much it costs, as no rat wants to eat some dry and nasty lab pellets. Not only do they add absolutely no color to your rat’s plate (which everyone knows is awful for its health), but they are also very dusty and could cause your rat to become *gasp* dirty! What a horrible experience! I would hate to ever be dirty. If I ever ended up dirty, I would probably have nightmares for weeks, and I most certainly would NOT BE HAPPY. I would not have any fun, and I would really regret being dirty. As you know, these are things that you do not want to happen to your rat. So avoid the chance of your rat becoming dirty completely by not giving it dusty lab pellets. Instead, I suggest, giving it lots of tasty yogurt, fruit, candy, cake, cookies, ice cream, pie, milkshakes, soda, and other tastilicious treats. Your rat will never get dirty from eating these crumb/dust-free options.

Yogurt is very good. I suggest topping it off with cookie crumbles, sprinkles, peanut-butter cups, maple syrup, whipped cream, chocolate-covered cherries, and a couple gummy bears. Now that is a healthy and mess-free meal!

Alright, that’s it! I really hope this delightful and very educational guide really helps you to be an amazing owner that constantly pampers your beloved pet rat whose name starts with an N and rhymes with Quegev. If it doesn’t, obviously you did not read it thoroughly. Make sure you can recite this entirely from memory at any moment when you need to be a better owner so that your pet does not run away to come be a servant in my royal palace (which is a very strong temptation in pet rats nowadays, as I have heard). If you have properly read it all, while thoroughly analyzing it, then you will be able to have a great relationship with your beloved pet for years to come. Don’t forget to credit me when everyone asks how in the world you got your rat to like you.

BREAKING NEWS: Soigné’s Evil Plot to Ruin the Tails OF THE WORLD Revealed (not yet confirmed)

Please Note: The following story includes pictures of rats without colorful tails. If you have a weak stomach, you may want to refrain from this very graphic story. If you are okay with reading about and viewing one color tails, you may continue.

Soigné attempts to endear others by sleepily stating an ego-booster that might not be quite true for the axe murderer she just saw rob a bank and steal a child’s candy (who she did not stop). It still doesn’t distract from the lack of different colors on her butt appendage.

As you may know, Sinai has a sister. Sinai loves her sister very much. Sinai tries to think of Soigné, her beloved sister, as a good rat, but Soigné doesn’t try very hard to prove Sinai right. Sinai has repeatedly asked her darling sibling to not act so creepy and disturbing around Sinai’s equally beloved and darling subjects, but Soigné either can’t stop having a disturbing one color tail (which is what makes her so creepy and unappealing)… or she doesn’t want to stop. (We suspect the latter.) Because of this, no one in Sinai’s entire large and very vast kingdom wants anything to do with the Divine Ruler’s sister. Which is sad because Soigné really is a good rat once you get past her unusual tail.

Just look at that disgusting tail. I can’t even look at it for more than ten seconds without puking. (Note: The tail I am talking about is the lighter, less colorful one. Not the very attractive multi-colored one.)

Unfortunately, Soigné also seems unable to acknowledge the fact that multi-colored tails are hot this season, and that the last time boring tails like her own were popular was in freaking 2012. (Which was very long ago, as you all know.) Because of this, she makes disturbing, controversial, scandalous, and questionable comments about tails. Often, she remarks about the “ridiculousness” of the multi-colored tail (which is actually the point of high fashion) and makes excuses for why she can’t dye her tail, wear a tail-covering over her own, or just get plastic surgery to have it changed to be more appealing. Sinai has even offered to give her a full 1% discount on some siPawlisshe™ so that Soigné can paint her tail pretty colors (like Pupey™). (Naturally, Soigné refused the very kind and generous offer.) Because of the fact that Soigné is so unwilling to change to be more fashionable, we can only conclude one thing: Soigné wants the world to change to be more unfashionable.

Now, I know this is very hard to understand, but there is logic involved. Sinai explains it to us in a quote.

“My sister does not want to change her tail to be more appealing to society. She is too lazy to do that. Instead, she wants society to change to be more appealing to her tail. Most likely, she has created a secret army of rats who all have tails of one color. She will probably attack soon. This is why I have increased the defense spending from .001% of the budget to .002%. I really hope this will help save us from my sister.”

– Sinai the Great, Divine Ruler of Everything (in an interview for Lulu Imnotlyingson’s Accurate Reading, or L.I.A.R.)

We can only hope that Soigné secret army is very small and not at all powerful. (And that they are very bad about keeping secrets.) Sinai says that any rats found to be in it will be tried for treason and fashion crimes (if they turn themselves in, they will only be charged with fashion crimes, and if they have juicy information on Soigné’s little army of traitors, then they will only have to go to court for minor outfit infringements). However, there is no knowing what might happen, so cross your paws and be glad that you were born with a multi-colored tail.

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Answer to A Very Brief Quiz: There is no answer. If you answered it, then you failed.